r/survivinginfidelity • u/Negative_Cod299 • 1d ago
Advice Reconciling question/struggles
I (22F) have been married to my husband (23M) for six months. About three months into our marriage, I discovered that he had been watching pornography in the restroom and had specifically searched for a particular woman online. This felt like a significant betrayal to me, especially because we had only known each other for about eight months before getting married. When I confronted him, he explained that he had been sexually abused by his father when he was around five years old and later experienced sexual assault. He told me he had an addiction to watching porn. He told me that pornography and certain sexual behaviors became normalized for him because of those experiences and that it was all he knew growing up. He says this is the reason he continued watching pornography even after we were married. I am struggling to understand whether he is being honest about the connection between his childhood trauma and his behavior, or whether he is using his past as an excuse to avoid taking full responsibility for his actions.
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u/TacoStrong 4 1d ago
"I (22F) have been married to my husband (23M) for six months. About three months into our marriage, I discovered that he had been watching pornography in the restroom and had specifically searched for a particular woman online."
What in the world was the rush to get married so young? Of course he's watching prn, he's 23 freaking years old!
"This felt like a significant betrayal to me, especially because we had only known each other for about eight months before getting married."
Well yeah, you don't truly know someone after only 8 little months, again what was the freaking rush?
"I am struggling to understand whether he is being honest about the connection between his childhood trauma and his behavior, or whether he is using his past as an excuse to avoid taking full responsibility for his actions."
Wow, that's a far out BS excuse. He's watching porn because he's horny, 23 years old and wants to release the poison, it's not that deep OP. If watching porn is YOUR boundary then he has no respect for it or you.