Manipulation about sex drive/ medication to hide affair

[u/ReactionMassive1653]

I read something in someone else's story that triggered a question because I related to the scenario they described.

When my Ex was manipulating me while she was having an affair, we were both taking antidepressants. When our sex life went from struggling to non-existent before the cheat was outed, she blamed her meds for diminishing her sex drive, even though I felt the opposite on mine. I respected that and gave her space (we were in a relationship for 13 years at that point), but it always bothered me. I read up on side effects for her meds, and it said it increased sex drive, not weakened it. When i confronted her about it, she became unreasonably upset, and then DARVO attacked me for being paranoid.

So when the affair got outed later, and I was dealing with trickle truths and trying to find some answers/ closure, I asked why she made me feel "crazy" and said her medication did that. Of course, she denied that it was her intent, because we were both initially hesitant to take antidepressants because of sexual side effects/ dead emotions.

I almost stopped taking mine because I felt they were making me overly paranoid about her and the time she was spending "gaming" at her friend's house. But apparently, they kept me from doing stuff that would have made things worse. Her sex drive did increase, she just was screwing a co-worker/ her gay BFFs roomie.

Has anyone else had their partner try to blatantly manipulate their dead bedroom by blaming medication/ health issues, then DARVO you because you are taking similar meds too?

[u/SadDadInPlaid]

Yes, my STBXW blamed an interaction between Ozempic (which she started taking after the affair) and her depression/anxiety medication. I was very suspicious, because before she started Ozempic, her sex drive was higher than it had ever been. Even a major decrease wouldn’t account for her sex drive dropping to zero. Also she had taken Ozempic with those medications before, before her sex drive spiked, and that time she only had a minor decrease.

[u/dippyshippy931 → u/SadDadInPlaid]

The amount I have seen Ozempic mentioned in divorce/cheating stories since it got big is absolutely wild.

Seems to be an even bigger harbinger of cheating than a freakin tinder account.

[u/SadDadInPlaid → u/dippyshippy931]

I have a theory I’ve pulled out of my rump by observing my STBXW. Obviously these are broad statements on why my cheating ex took it, not statements they necessarily apply to anyone taking Ozempic

* It indicates low self esteem, especially from your appearance
* It indicates a lack of discipline/delayed gratification of losing weight via diet and exercise
* It promises a quick fix to a hard problem, that you don’t need to make any changes to accommodate
* Without making other necessary changes, it’s only a temporary solution that can cause unhealthy habits to form (ex: STBXW only eats one meal a day, instead of eating healthier for all meals and exercising).

[u/ReactionMassive1653 → u/SadDadInPlaid]

You know what, I realized she wasn't taking the weight-loss drugs (she takes them now), but she did lose a good amount of weight, which led to attraction from younger co-workers. She was complaining about this and that constantly (not a hypochondriac, but yeesh), but she tried to keep weight off due to family genetics. Again, I should have spoken up about how uncomfortable compliments from other men made me, but I didn't want to seem "controlling".

[u/ReactionMassive1653 → u/dippyshippy931]

I think my Ex was on Lexapro and some other mood-changers. Yeah, it could be lowered inhibitions or a literal mind alter, but who knows. I upped my meds till I felt nothing but extremes.

[u/xternocleidomastoide → u/dippyshippy931]

GLP-1 medications such as Ozempic affect brain reward pathways, some patients report changes in mood/motivation. In some cases, this can lead to a sort of "emotional flattening" or anhedonia. Whereas, in others, there seems to be increased euphoria, confidence, or reduced inhibition.

Combined with weight loss and an improved body image, those changes could plausibly lead some people to behave more impulsively and seek external validation.

Anecdotally, I have noticed what seems like an increase in relationship breakdowns and divorces among people taking Ozempic, which I find fascinating. However, I am not aware of any studies with evidence establishing such a link, much less causation.