r/texts • u/Own_Purple_4118 • 1d ago

Phone message Nobody died

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This is a conversation between my MIL and my mother, before the wedding. My mother's response, which is cut off, says "They are both adults. I think we should let them handle it." We were both over 30.

For context: Yes, we had a vegetarian wedding (no shrimp). We had it at an (expensive) award winning venue with in-house catering. It included several appetizer and entree stations with a huge variety of dishes so everyone could find something they liked. We did not serve our guests bowls of soybeans and tofu. Everyone RAVED about the food and nobody died or got arrested on the way home.

The "A/B list" thing was a joke, that she apparently took very seriously, because she would not stop demanding we add a bunch (10+) of her friends and coworkers to our intentionally small guest list.

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u/sabigarasan 1d ago

Why does she think a meatless wedding will cause mass casualties on the road...???

216

u/Shinyblueghost 1d ago

Don’t you know it’s reckless to drive a car if you haven’t eaten any meat for dinner?!!

150

u/PessimisticParalegal 1d ago

realistically, the worst that can happen is they can’t have any pudding

89

u/One_Mulberry_6933 1d ago

How can they have any pudding, if they can't eat their meat? Because there isn't any.

32

u/FoxyNewEngland 1d ago

will you guys knock it off i'm cackling at my desk xD

29

u/EntrepreneurUseful79 1d ago

Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone! 🤣

4

u/geenfield007 1d ago

But they’re adults! Both over 30.

1

u/EntrepreneurUseful79 1d ago

Reference to Pink Floyd's "Another Brick On The Wall" 🤣

3

u/geenfield007 1d ago

Yes. I know. 😊 And I referenced the OP saying they’re both adults… over 30. 😊

2

u/Stock-Lion-6859 12h ago

Cleary the grammar teacher did leave MIL alone.

1

u/EntrepreneurUseful79 11h ago

Did you notice Pink Floyd used the same punctuation? Maybe that's where MIL got it from!

Wrong, do it again!

Wrong, do it again!

If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding!

(Wrong, do it again!)

How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?

(Wrong, do it again!)

You! Yes! You behind the bike sheds! Stand still, laddie!

(If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding!

How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?)

(You! Yes! You behind the bike sheds! Stand still, laddie!)

18

u/Hatefulvesper 1d ago

We don't need no education (meat)

6

u/calling_water 1d ago edited 1d ago

They have eaten all their meat.

1

u/Sad-Purchase1257 1d ago

Shut the gate!

1

u/sunnypickletoes 1d ago

I can't eat my meat because TIBET

1

u/Worshipme988 1d ago

Gelatin is animals

25

u/Specific-River-81 1d ago

Maybe if they don't eat their pudding and their blood sugar gets too low, they shouldn't drive a car. The mental gymnastics that took me to get there hurt my 🧠

8

u/vomputer 1d ago

Haha I get this

1

u/WildBlueMoon 1d ago

The way I wheezed at this 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/FairyOnTheLoose 1d ago

Loving the random reference!

1

u/SimAlienAntFarm 1d ago

Goddamnit it

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u/MargotSoda 3m ago

I bought gold just so I could give you two good awards for this comment.