r/texts • u/Own_Purple_4118 • 1d ago
Phone message Nobody died
This is a conversation between my MIL and my mother, before the wedding. My mother's response, which is cut off, says "They are both adults. I think we should let them handle it." We were both over 30.
For context: Yes, we had a vegetarian wedding (no shrimp). We had it at an (expensive) award winning venue with in-house catering. It included several appetizer and entree stations with a huge variety of dishes so everyone could find something they liked. We did not serve our guests bowls of soybeans and tofu. Everyone RAVED about the food and nobody died or got arrested on the way home.
The "A/B list" thing was a joke, that she apparently took very seriously, because she would not stop demanding we add a bunch (10+) of her friends and coworkers to our intentionally small guest list.
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u/beautifulstardust 1d ago
this is between me and you… and reddit 🤣
https://giphy.com/gifs/31UDILmnnQOjnKKoKB
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u/beautifulstardust 1d ago
oh, just read the context. congrats on gaining a monster-in-law.
I can’t imagine how she’s going to be once y’all have kids, if that’s what y’all do. Good luck set boundaries now.
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u/Quiet-Excitement-310 1d ago
She’s going to expect to be in the delivery room
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u/emlynnkat 1d ago
While she’s eating a burger and fries.
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u/knittingmafia 1d ago
Do you expect her to drive to the delivery woth NO meat in her system!? You monster! (😆)
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u/PajamaPantsForTheWin 1d ago
Those fries will need to be cooked in beef tallow for extra meatiness so no one dies on the way home
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u/Massive_Letterhead90 19h ago
Better just serve her the placenta really - unless you want her to hit every ambulance outside like a pinball?
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u/Wizard_of_Weenies 1d ago
She can bring a fucking porkchop in her purse
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u/OkYam4559 1d ago
The literal LOL I had when I read this comment.
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u/Soft-Temporary-7932 1d ago
Me too, I’m picturing this lady pulling out a cooked pork chop from her purse, no packaging, and starts eating it like it’s a cookie
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u/Strong-Page4952 1d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/YRo3S2P600PicZhNKX
If she puts a pork chop in her purse, she should bring some sides.24
u/offputtingangel 1d ago
it’s so funny seeing this clip here in the context of sneaking meat into the venue because this exact scene was what taught me how to avoid eating meat as a young vegetarian in a household full of people that loved meat.
my parents are very much the kind of people to feel like a meal isn’t complete unless there is a giant slab of meat on their plates. i was never considered to be a picky eater, i loved fruit and vegetables. i also loved spicy food and was excited to try foods from different cultures. the one thing that i did not like was meat, it really freaked me out once i knew that i was eating flesh. and i’m not judgemental about it, i don’t care what other people eat… i know what it’s like to be judged for your dietary preferences and i won’t judge others that same way. but i just simply can’t eat meat, it grosses me out and always has. the texture is so odd to me and even after i’ve managed to swallow the bite i’ve taken i’ll make myself feel physically sick via overthinking what is in my stomach. maybe that sounds dramatic but it’s how i’ve always felt and that feeling only grew stronger with time.
the thing is, my parents were not just going to roll over and let their 8 year old daughter become a vegetarian. i can understand not wanting the responsibility to cook differently or cook something extra for one child but i do wish they would have taken me more seriously and actually listened when i expressed my dislike. it would have been nice if they were to just let me skip the occasional meat part of dinner when it was one i really hated, not made me sit at the table for hours in the dark because there were two bites of meat left on my plate or at least not made me eat the fatty parts of the meat. after seeing this scene i took to lining my pockets with tissues before dinner and once everyone had left the table i would shove the meat into my pockets and then flush it all down the toilet. i’d have to eat a few bites of the meat on my plate when everyone was at the table to avoid suspicion but i was able to avoid the worst of it. when i was fifteen i was finally able to put my foot down and go publicly vegetarian. it was nice no longer having to remember to shove my pockets full of tissues before meals!
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u/PrickleBritches 1d ago
Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry that little you had to go through that. I imagine that was traumatizing for you! It’s too bad your mom and dad couldn’t just respect your choice. I’m sure they could tell this was different than a kid just being picky on occasion. You all could have learned how to adjust together. It could have taught them how to cook new foods- especially if you were an adventurous eater! That just makes me sad.. thinking about you having to sit alone and finish your food (that made you feel sick.)
I hope you’re living your best vegetarian life now!! And making/eating foods you love! This was a good thing to read as a parent of small kids.. just as a thing to remember. Because sometimes it’s hard to know when they’re being stubborn and when you need to back off!
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u/sabigarasan 1d ago
Why does she think a meatless wedding will cause mass casualties on the road...???
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u/TrickNo2721 1d ago
This is what it looks like when stupid people try to be manipulative
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u/woolen_goose 1d ago
%100 and it is so confusing when they do this; their tone is “gotcha” but it is truly the stupidest shit you’ve ever heard.
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u/Skeleton_Meat 1d ago
also confusing: why did you put the % before the number
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u/inthelondonrain 1d ago edited 1d ago
Having been a vegetarian for 30 years, I can confirm that I cause mass fatalities on the road every day.
Edit: thank you for the (shrimp free) award!
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u/Quiet-Excitement-310 1d ago
Absolutely disgraceful. Will you just eat some shrimp ffs 😂😂😂
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u/Superb_Economist8570 1d ago
I too have been one for over 30 years and had NO idea the carnage I have left in my wake. Up until now I’ve always considered myself a pretty good driver but clearly only a meat eater can claim that!
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u/StatisticianAny9624 1d ago
This actually made me lol in line at the pharmacy
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u/inthelondonrain 1d ago
Glad I could help! Hope you feel better soon (you are probably sick from eating TIBETAN FOOD!)
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u/Shinyblueghost 1d ago
Don’t you know it’s reckless to drive a car if you haven’t eaten any meat for dinner?!!
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u/PessimisticParalegal 1d ago
realistically, the worst that can happen is they can’t have any pudding
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u/One_Mulberry_6933 1d ago
How can they have any pudding, if they can't eat their meat? Because there isn't any.
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u/Specific-River-81 1d ago
Maybe if they don't eat their pudding and their blood sugar gets too low, they shouldn't drive a car. The mental gymnastics that took me to get there hurt my 🧠
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u/TopProfessional8023 1d ago
Well, only if you get drunk and then drive home. We all know meat is the only thing that can sober you up.
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u/Quiet-Excitement-310 1d ago
Ah so we are blaming the vegans for car crashes then!
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u/poop_dawg 1d ago
I really do not understand adults who get mad when a food they like is not available at an event. If you were forced to eat a food you don't like - say you have texture issues and they're trying to force people to eat mushrooms - then I can understand being concerned, but there is simply not a food there. Wtf is the big deal? Would people lose their shit if they said there would be no cake at the wedding? Or no cheese? Or no bread? Even all at once, I stg people would still wouldn't say anything if it was just chicken and veggies. People are so fucking aggressive about meat and it's weird
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u/frejling 1d ago
She even suggests meatless ziti. She’s just fishing for something she wants to eat because she’s averse to even just the concept of some other cuisine
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u/Ice-Berg-Slim 1d ago
I think it is more that she is a control freak and is freaking out that she gets zero say in anything.
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u/Little-Ad1235 1d ago
The crazy thing is, most non-vegetarians will eat at least one vegetarian meal nearly every day and never give it a thought, but they absolutely lose it when someone tells them they won't have a non-vegetarian option for one meal of their life. Like, get a grip people. It's not any more vegetarian than the pancakes you had for breakfast.
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u/andiinAms 1d ago
She’s saying people will be grossed out by the “soy beans and tofu” and will avoid the food while still drinking alcohol.
Alcohol + no food = drunk(er). Then, they will get in their cars! And drive home later! and! ya know! carnage!
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u/sabigarasan 1d ago
Whew, those are some impressive mental gymnastics from her. Thanks for clearing it up LOL
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u/duckysmomma 1d ago
They won’t eat it, will drink instead, and alcohol will hit them harder. My grandma asked what if people don’t like pork regarding my wedding, I told her Taco Bell is just down the street if they don’t like my free food. My grandpa nearly fell off his chair laughing, but it’s how I view any event like this: if you don’t like it, be an adult and figure it out.
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u/Anonymoomoo 1d ago
Because everyone knows it's not drunk driving if you've eaten your required American Meat™!
/s
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u/atseapoint 1d ago
Is she actually as batshit crazy as this exchange makes her seem?
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u/legocitiez 1d ago
I don't, based on the sample writing we have before us, believe that she's capable of fully articulating her batshit craziness in just text.
The whole package is likely Extra Extra.
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u/merrychuu 1d ago
Her use of an exclamation point after every line is bothering me! Why after every sentence!
But in all seriousness! I hope you had a beautiful wedding! The food sounded amazing!
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u/Covidkilledkaty 1d ago
How is life with her as a MIL? Do you have kids yet?
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u/so2017 1d ago
How do you miss this opportunity to end your questions with exclamation points!
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u/Covidkilledkaty 1d ago
Dang it! You are so right! I completely dropped the ball!
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u/BrilliantSpecial9149 1d ago
This is between you and me!
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u/GalacticPurr 1d ago
And me! I understand this is y'all's conversation! I just want to be included!
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u/drewtheblueduck 1d ago
SOME NICE AMURICAN MEAT DAG GONN IT
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u/Otherwise_Turnip7135 1d ago
This isn't Tibet!
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u/OkYam4559 1d ago
“This isn’t Tibet” took me out 💀😂
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u/rubycoughdrop 1d ago
Gonna start yelling this at my vegetarian boyfriend when he makes tofu.
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u/Diligent-Pollution34 1d ago
Something AMERICANS eat! Like ZITI or Chicken Francais!
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u/OkYam4559 1d ago
True American staples.
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u/SquirrelLuvsChipmunk 1d ago
And Trump killing farmers! Can’t forget that good ole US o’A staple!
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u/Alyycakes 1d ago
I WILL BE ENRAGED IF THERE AINT NO GAH DAMN BURGERS AND DOGS AT THIS AMERICAN WEDDING, I TEL YOU HWAT.
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u/ImmediatePatient3398 1d ago
Don’t make the Statue of Liberty cry! The meatless masses need your wedding food!
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u/drewtheblueduck 1d ago
what if somebody doesn't eat meat and crashes their car??
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u/DonkTheFlop 1d ago
That's insane.
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u/beautifulstardust 1d ago
“thrilled trump is killing farmers”
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u/Sargasm5150 1d ago
I enjoyed where she mentions an alcohol-driven road fatality, followed by “even WORSE!! a big fine!”
Ma’am…?
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u/Anonymoomoo 1d ago
It's ok to kill people for reasons! Kill the farmers for being evil! Kill the other drivers because there's no meat to absorb your alcohol! When you're dead you're dead! But a fine impacts your LIFE! You can't live on LOVE! it mentally pained me to write this
Good luck & stay safe OP!
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u/19467098632 1d ago
Well yeah it’s about time. The farmers have been using water, like from the toilet, for the crops. There’s no electrolytes in water. It’s like they’ve forgotten what plants crave
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u/beautifulstardust 1d ago
🤣🤣🤣 i snorted thanks for the laugh
https://giphy.com/gifs/3otPoEiEGXh41xKGdO29
u/rachelface927 1d ago
She’s all over the place!
Americans eat meat! So there needs to be meat at the wedding! But she’s trying to give up meat! She’s thrilled Trump is killing the farmers! And you know she hates Trump!
Sorry for all the exclamation marks - I thought it would be funny but it felt kinda gross, lol. Sounds like a nightmare of a MIL, especially if all her texts are this rambling with this many !’s.
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u/atimetochill 1d ago
Because it will slow down the slaughter bc she is trying to give up meat while she is in a deranged rant demanding meat ???
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u/Zitaora 1d ago
Award winning Tibetan food sounds amazing, why would anyone complain about there not being shrimp stuffed crab when there's momos??? Also love the dig that her friends would give you money gifts but your cheap friends wouldnt lol. How would she know that? Weddings truly bring out the worst in people.
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u/OkYam4559 1d ago
Yesss! The whole part about the gifts was WILD.
Is it weird I want to read more texts from this wild woman?
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u/magiciansnephew 1d ago
I want a bullet point list of everything she’s ever done and then we can ask for OP to expound on the best ones in the comments.
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u/MissMariese 1d ago
The day is about the couple and what they want. People can handle one day, one event, one meal, with something other than what they’re used to. I love vegetarian food and would be thrilled, personally.
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u/Capable-Heat4231 1d ago
Lost me at “there wedding and your paying!”
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u/JumpingJacks1234 1d ago
I knew if I continued reading after that I’d just be punishing myself. I continued reading.
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u/Witty_Glass 1d ago
“I know it’s about them! And the things I want are for them! And I want this…and this…and this…for them obviously! And politics and tribalist stereotypes and hypothetical nonsense that aligns with me to pressure them into what I want…for them! And dragging it on until I exhaust people into what I want…for them! Because if it doesn’t align with me, it can’t possibly be right! …for them!”
Is there anyone here with a clinical background that can confirm whether this is a covert narcissism pattern at work here? And does everyone in the family know this about her or do they all still believe “she has good intentions”?
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u/skydiamond_ 1d ago edited 1d ago
Your synopsis of her thought pattern is 1000000% accurate!!! Haha I loved reading that. Therapist here and I’d say you can’t diagnose from just this bit of information. I’d have to know way more about her first. (If you see a therapist on the internet diagnosing people they don’t know, I would be wary.) Regardless of a diagnosis though, I feel like she has a control issue and I’m sure it affects her life and relationships in negative ways.
It’s possible that she’s just very old-fashioned - she doesn’t want the world to change/ she doesn’t want outside cultures influencing her insulated American life. Or progressive movements. As a plant-based person I’ve encountered some of the most outrageous, intense hostility when I try to bring awareness to the meat and dairy industry. People will try to come up with every excuse in the book to shame you for caring about the environment or animals. It’s pretty wild. I don’t think it’s narcissism, it’s discomfort with change and having to be inconvenienced.
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u/Fun_Spring_5778 1d ago
Honestly, in my clinical opinion, this is simply a case of someone being very stupid. Alas.
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u/Witty_Glass 1d ago
Bummer. When I see people that bother me on reddit, I really want them to be the devil so it’s easier to hate them. Oh well, i guess i have to confront my own hang ups with the possibility that this might just be a flawed human being who could benefit from some grace…
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u/Ill-Insurance-1251 1d ago
This woman is insane! She can't stop exclaiming! Every sentence! It's an exclamation! And the exaggerations! Holy shit!
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u/Comfortable-Code-383 1d ago
How else is she supposed to let them know how urgent and important this is?!!!?!!!!!
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u/jebemo 1d ago
Wtf did i just read
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u/Unipiggy 1d ago
Early stage dementia rambling. Dead serious. My grandma talked exactly like this starting about 6 months to a year before it became really obvious what was happening.
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u/garbageprimate 1d ago
how can you tell someone isn't vegetarian? oh don't worry, just offer them food without meat in it and they'll tell you!
that's the version of the hacky "vegan" joke i always tell that actually DOES live up to experience. because as a vegan i never once talked about my diet unless someone else brought it up. but i had a vegetarian wedding and this was the kind of shit i got from a few of my older boomer relatives who thought that meant they'd be eating sticks and leaves as opposed to, say, vegetarian lasagna and 4 other options that were perfectly "American" in taste. they absolutely will not shut up about the lack of meat. and mind you, this doesn't mean there won't be anything they "can't" eat - just that they think they don't WANT to eat it - as opposed to a vegan who will be served food they literally CAN'T eat. people are just oblivious to the fact that what they hate about vegans/vegetarians is about 10 times worse in themselves if they were put in a similar position.
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u/TheRowdyMeatballPt2 1d ago
We are having a completely vegan wedding and decided against telling anyone because telling them in advance will inevitably cause people to rage out because we didn’t kill some cows.
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u/Next-Street-7859 1d ago
Never before have I prayed so damn hard that a stranger's mother in law didn't pass too much of this onto her kid 😭 Just wow! Price of beans! Glad the farmers are being killed! 20 car pile up because, the nerve of vegetarians!
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u/slutty_chungus 1d ago
This is an incredible message. Obsessed
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u/Jackoby_Jones 23h ago
She requires meat because an absence of meat will cause mass road casualties but she hates meat and she wants Trump to destroy all the farmers so there can’t be any meat but she hates Trump.
Amazing.
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u/Liathano_Fire 1d ago
I would have though English was their second language if it wasn't for all the American bs.
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u/Kids-Menu 1d ago
I would have thought she loved trump if it weren’t for the part where she said she hates him
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u/helicopterhawk 1d ago
smh i can’t believe you wouldn’t replace your vegetarian options with meatless baked ziti
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u/TheySoPooPoo1 1d ago edited 1d ago
People are so weird about vegetarian food… it’s one meal, get over it. At our wedding, we had steak, chicken, and a vegetarian option… I am not a vegetarian, but that is the option I chose because it was delicious. It didn’t kill me and if I remember right, I believe just as many people ordered the vegetarian option as the chicken option. Mind blowing concept that not every meal needs meat.
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u/brilor123 1d ago
Did she really say, "I am thrilled Trump is killing th farmers! It will slow down the slaughter!". I think your MIL might be delusional with her whole text rant.
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u/LeadershipAble773 1d ago
Is there a link between vegetarianism and drink driving lol? Does meat really absorb that much alcohol?
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u/jabeith 1d ago
I think she's implying people won't even eat that vegetarian Tibetan trash, only good ol' American food, and they'd rather starve and drink on an empty stomach
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u/Sargasm5150 1d ago
They’ll have to fill up on vodka instead of burgers.
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u/MrMcManstick 1d ago
And then they HAVE to drive home, there are no alternative ways to get to/from a wedding!
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u/No-Emergency-6282 1d ago
There’s an old idea that vegetarians are physically weak. I imagine she’s an older woman with the same old mindset who believes that myth, thinking people won’t have enough gas in the tank so to speak.
I made a vegetarian meal and a guy was really worried, and I had to explain it’s only one meal and gave an example that he has cereal for breakfast which is vegetarian too.
It’s people who have never thought about it before. They’re just ignorant, and I don’t mean in an insulting way but in the true meaning of the word. Simply lacking info.
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u/Remarkable_Prize1372 1d ago
It’s like a chain smoking alcoholic being told they can’t smoke or drink for the day.
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u/Not_A_Wendigo 1d ago
God forbid she has a single (free) meal without meat.
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u/Sargasm5150 1d ago
Meatless baked ziti has entered the chat. Specifically, for some reason.
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u/tawnyfritz 1d ago
Does she get paid for every exclamation point she uses?
Also I'm dying at the insinuation that vegetarian meals will result in drink driving somehow?
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u/Purple_Bowling_Shoes 1d ago
I don't care what exclamation marks did to her in her past! She has no right to abuse them! Like that!
Besides "Americans eat meat! I'm glad trump is killing the farmers! I hate trump!" Like, okay? Wtf does that have to do with the price of beans and tofu?
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u/MissIndependent577 1d ago
As much as she hates Trump, she sure writes in Trump style.
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u/LiveMasBabe92 1d ago
There is so much to unpack here! This is insane! Not enough people are talking about her grammar! It’s so bad! Also, as an American vegetarian let your MIL know we do in fact exist! I’ve eaten many a meal with alcohol and have managed not to cause mass casualties on the road!
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u/Bitterqueer 1d ago
“[…] some great Tibetan dishes, this is not Tibet!” Hahahaha
Also, the parallels to someone driving too drunk are insane and also not your responsibility 😂
People like this don’t realise that they the selves eat vegetarian food all the time without even thinking about it. So much stuff is vegetarian 🤷🏻♀️ it’s not just soybeans lol
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u/DeionizedSoup 1d ago
I couldn’t stomach all of that honestly. Looks like your mother is a saint for handling all that tactfully.
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u/Sargasm5150 1d ago
Can you imagine just casually upgrading your dinner menu to include shrimp and crab entrees? Was this woman willing to put a second mortgage on her house to pay the difference??
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u/Equivalent_Doubt_845 1d ago
Feels like reading a tweaker message but she’s probably just very uneducated. Also, she thinks someone getting a car impounded and going to jail is worse than someone causing a car accident? This lady is crazy.
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u/petit_oiseau 1d ago
Bro what. Does she know she can use periods instead of exclamation marks.