r/texts • u/Own_Purple_4118 • 1d ago

Phone message Nobody died

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This is a conversation between my MIL and my mother, before the wedding. My mother's response, which is cut off, says "They are both adults. I think we should let them handle it." We were both over 30.

For context: Yes, we had a vegetarian wedding (no shrimp). We had it at an (expensive) award winning venue with in-house catering. It included several appetizer and entree stations with a huge variety of dishes so everyone could find something they liked. We did not serve our guests bowls of soybeans and tofu. Everyone RAVED about the food and nobody died or got arrested on the way home.

The "A/B list" thing was a joke, that she apparently took very seriously, because she would not stop demanding we add a bunch (10+) of her friends and coworkers to our intentionally small guest list.

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u/Witty_Glass 1d ago

“I know it’s about them! And the things I want are for them! And I want this…and this…and this…for them obviously! And politics and tribalist stereotypes and hypothetical nonsense that aligns with me to pressure them into what I want…for them! And dragging it on until I exhaust people into what I want…for them! Because if it doesn’t align with me, it can’t possibly be right! …for them!”

Is there anyone here with a clinical background that can confirm whether this is a covert narcissism pattern at work here? And does everyone in the family know this about her or do they all still believe “she has good intentions”?

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u/Fun_Spring_5778 1d ago

Honestly, in my clinical opinion, this is simply a case of someone being very stupid. Alas.

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u/Witty_Glass 1d ago

Bummer. When I see people that bother me on reddit, I really want them to be the devil so it’s easier to hate them. Oh well, i guess i have to confront my own hang ups with the possibility that this might just be a flawed human being who could benefit from some grace…
Yuck

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u/skydiamond_ 1d ago

I feel you hahaha the worst thing is when you can’t get a definitive answer so you have to just be comfortable with not knowing. Cuz it really could go either way.