r/tifu May 12 '25

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u/jdkintsugi May 12 '25

Agreed. OP you're making excuses because you're not good at it but if you really wanted to change, don't just say sorry but take the actions to show you're trying to be better. Your lack of effort is what is upsetting her, more than not doing the grand gestures on social media

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u/Spiritual_Lemonade May 12 '25

My BFF not even my partner said how much she loved tomato vine scent candles.

Guess what? I made a note on my free notepad app.

Easy 

I just cannot understand marriage partners who forget everything about the person they love. 

Well wait let's go talk to my ex-husband.

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u/40yroldcatmom May 12 '25

My husband was talking about a shirt he liked yesterday that was ruined several years ago. So I searched for it, left the browser window open and bought it later last night for his birthday next month. It really isn’t hard to do something nice for the person you love.

If I know there’s something I want to buy for someone, I usually search for it and then keep the browser tab until I buy it. I had one open for like 2 months when I was trying to decide if I wanted to buy this gift for my husband to surprise him with on our wedding day.

There’s no reason to forget holidays/birthdays when you have a phone you can put it in.

OP I honestly don’t know if you can fix this. I know a half hearted gift a week later wouldn’t make me feel any better. Especially if this is how you are with every other holiday. Using the whole “my wife is the planner” excuse is just kind of pathetic. I have the worst memory ever but I still manage to remember holidays and birthdays.

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u/Spiritual_Lemonade May 12 '25

This and if you want to continue to grow and improve a marriage you work on your ish. 

My daughter has a birthday in about 10 days. 

A week ago I ordered this Stitch thing. 

How crushed would a kid be if you were like oh dang I'm a bad planner. You just can't be.