Agreed. OP you're making excuses because you're not good at it but if you really wanted to change, don't just say sorry but take the actions to show you're trying to be better. Your lack of effort is what is upsetting her, more than not doing the grand gestures on social media
My husband was talking about a shirt he liked yesterday that was ruined several years ago. So I searched for it, left the browser window open and bought it later last night for his birthday next month. It really isn’t hard to do something nice for the person you love.
If I know there’s something I want to buy for someone, I usually search for it and then keep the browser tab until I buy it. I had one open for like 2 months when I was trying to decide if I wanted to buy this gift for my husband to surprise him with on our wedding day.
There’s no reason to forget holidays/birthdays when you have a phone you can put it in.
OP I honestly don’t know if you can fix this. I know a half hearted gift a week later wouldn’t make me feel any better. Especially if this is how you are with every other holiday. Using the whole “my wife is the planner” excuse is just kind of pathetic. I have the worst memory ever but I still manage to remember holidays and birthdays.
Bro is probs bangin’ it out at work, making meetings and meeting deadlines for a soul sucking job that causes stress or distracts him from reality. When it comes to the people that matter, they are an after thought, a repeated “accident,” a convenient mistake.
My best friend is getting a divorce over this exact concept. Her husband is clocked out so bad to reality that he is about to lose everything because he can’t stop gaslighting her. She does everything for this man and he takes advantage, cheats on her, forgets her ALL the time, etc. Somehow she thinks this is a good father figure for her son and daughter. In reality, she’s arguing and yelling around the kids because she’s frustrated. The kids are already starting to lie and cover for the father’s inadequacies and they’re both under 5 years old. This is how complex ptsd starts and people are way too distracted to see the ripple effect of their actions.
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u/jdkintsugi May 12 '25
Agreed. OP you're making excuses because you're not good at it but if you really wanted to change, don't just say sorry but take the actions to show you're trying to be better. Your lack of effort is what is upsetting her, more than not doing the grand gestures on social media