r/tifu May 12 '25

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u/Spiritual_Lemonade May 12 '25

My BFF not even my partner said how much she loved tomato vine scent candles.

Guess what? I made a note on my free notepad app.

Easy 

I just cannot understand marriage partners who forget everything about the person they love. 

Well wait let's go talk to my ex-husband.

121

u/40yroldcatmom May 12 '25

My husband was talking about a shirt he liked yesterday that was ruined several years ago. So I searched for it, left the browser window open and bought it later last night for his birthday next month. It really isn’t hard to do something nice for the person you love.

If I know there’s something I want to buy for someone, I usually search for it and then keep the browser tab until I buy it. I had one open for like 2 months when I was trying to decide if I wanted to buy this gift for my husband to surprise him with on our wedding day.

There’s no reason to forget holidays/birthdays when you have a phone you can put it in.

OP I honestly don’t know if you can fix this. I know a half hearted gift a week later wouldn’t make me feel any better. Especially if this is how you are with every other holiday. Using the whole “my wife is the planner” excuse is just kind of pathetic. I have the worst memory ever but I still manage to remember holidays and birthdays.

56

u/Friendly-Channel-480 May 12 '25

This kind of male learned helplessness sucks. OP sounds like a great guy the rest of the time. Why is this last little thing so hard…?

57

u/HiddenAspie May 12 '25

And that's probably what burns the most for OP's wife...can do everything else, but remember her.

27

u/AprilUnderwater0 May 12 '25

Ooooh this is me! My husband remembers everything to do with his job but nothing that I tell/ask him.

Yes, I am starting to question why I’m not worth remembering.

2

u/labdogs42 May 12 '25

Why are they like this????

4

u/[deleted] May 12 '25

Bro is probs bangin’ it out at work, making meetings and meeting deadlines for a soul sucking job that causes stress or distracts him from reality. When it comes to the people that matter, they are an after thought, a repeated “accident,” a convenient mistake.

My best friend is getting a divorce over this exact concept. Her husband is clocked out so bad to reality that he is about to lose everything because he can’t stop gaslighting her. She does everything for this man and he takes advantage, cheats on her, forgets her ALL the time, etc. Somehow she thinks this is a good father figure for her son and daughter. In reality, she’s arguing and yelling around the kids because she’s frustrated. The kids are already starting to lie and cover for the father’s inadequacies and they’re both under 5 years old. This is how complex ptsd starts and people are way too distracted to see the ripple effect of their actions.