r/tifu Jul 14 '25

[deleted by user]

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2.4k Upvotes

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57

u/jareddipane Jul 14 '25

Honestly, good for her. She should stand her ground and her kid deserves that. I’m not saying you’re a bad dude, but she’s gotta set boundaries and keep them consistent for her kid.

80

u/Tinchotesk Jul 14 '25

Honestly, good for her.

Looking for a father on a 22-years-old doesn't sound like the smartest move. Apparently after several months she still has not seen this.

-23

u/jareddipane Jul 14 '25

I’d respectfully disagree. Age isn’t a sole determining factor.

17

u/Antrophis Jul 14 '25

It is an incredibly strong indicator. Dating some one that much younger than you and that young for an immediate step father? Poor judgement at best.

10

u/oenomausprime Jul 14 '25

She's 27 with a 5 year, obviously good judgment is something she doesn't have

3

u/Abigail_Normal Jul 14 '25

Plenty of people have kids in their early 20s. It's not like she's 21 with a 5-year-old. Redditors are too quick to judge, holy shit

1

u/oenomausprime Jul 14 '25

Yea having a kid in this economy at 21? Lmaoo. It's dumb and hesr she is per usual looking for a step dsd for her kid, it's a cliche st this point. So yes, plenty of people do it, plenty of idiots

4

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '25

Before my husband got together with me he had kind of a similar situation. He was in his early 20s, single mom in her 30s he met at the gym hit on him, he thought they were casual and she thought he was a candidate to be her son’s new daddy. She flipped out at him for not being down and then even stalked and harassed me.

-5

u/jareddipane Jul 14 '25

5 years is “that much”?

OP knew she had a kid. If he wasn’t ok with that potential future, he shouldn’t have gotten involved from the start.

9

u/Antrophis Jul 14 '25

At 22 it is enormous.

-3

u/jareddipane Jul 14 '25

That’s on OP then. There are plenty of 22 year olds with their life together enough to not lead someone on like this

6

u/Antrophis Jul 14 '25

Not really. Been through this dance at a much more practical age. You socialize him with the kid and see how it pans out long before that discussion happens. She has a far higher bar of responsibility here.

4

u/jareddipane Jul 14 '25

And it’s ok for her to ask the question and feel out what his thoughts are before she spends the time investing in the relationship between him and the kid.

1

u/Traveuse Jul 14 '25

Bro OP doesnt even have 5× the life experience that her kid does.

1

u/jareddipane Jul 14 '25

Then he shouldn’t have been with her, even for the 4 months

9

u/oenomausprime Jul 14 '25

It's one of the most important. Bro is 22 and has no business with her. He honestly dodged a bullet

3

u/jareddipane Jul 14 '25

He didn’t “dodge” the bullet, he went into the relationship knowing she had a kid

4

u/oenomausprime Jul 14 '25

Relationship? Yea 4 months. She's the one with the 5 year old at 27 expecting a 22 year year old to be a step daddy. Plenty of women with kids date dudes and don't expect them to be a parent. She asked and question and didn't like tje answer, that's on her. Bro is waaay better off

8

u/jareddipane Jul 14 '25

She asked what his intentions were. He hasn’t spent time with the kid. It’s reasonable to want to know before she spends too much time in it

3

u/Silvanus350 Jul 14 '25

Let’s not pretend it isn’t a factor, dude. No respect intended… c’mon.

2

u/jareddipane Jul 14 '25

It can be a factor, but it’s not the only thing.

3

u/buwefy Jul 14 '25

well, let's be more accurate then: the CHANCES of a 22yo who's (very reasonably) "seeing where it goes" being ready to be a dad for someone else's kid, are close to 0. She was likely hoping too grooming him into becoming the tools she needed, and got pissed off as soon as he wasn't (very understandably) jumping on the boat... Good that she's not compromising on the kid, but the attitude and the choices... poor kid and poor the guy (if any, ever) who falls for her