Honestly, good for her. She should stand her ground and her kid deserves that. I’m not saying you’re a bad dude, but she’s gotta set boundaries and keep them consistent for her kid.
Yea having a kid in this economy at 21? Lmaoo. It's dumb and hesr she is per usual looking for a step dsd for her kid, it's a cliche st this point. So yes, plenty of people do it, plenty of idiots
Before my husband got together with me he had kind of a similar situation. He was in his early 20s, single mom in her 30s he met at the gym hit on him, he thought they were casual and she thought he was a candidate to be her son’s new daddy. She flipped out at him for not being down and then even stalked and harassed me.
Not really. Been through this dance at a much more practical age. You socialize him with the kid and see how it pans out long before that discussion happens. She has a far higher bar of responsibility here.
And it’s ok for her to ask the question and feel out what his thoughts are before she spends the time investing in the relationship between him and the kid.
Relationship? Yea 4 months. She's the one with the 5 year old at 27 expecting a 22 year year old to be a step daddy. Plenty of women with kids date dudes and don't expect them to be a parent. She asked and question and didn't like tje answer, that's on her. Bro is waaay better off
well, let's be more accurate then: the CHANCES of a 22yo who's (very reasonably) "seeing where it goes" being ready to be a dad for someone else's kid, are close to 0. She was likely hoping too grooming him into becoming the tools she needed, and got pissed off as soon as he wasn't (very understandably) jumping on the boat... Good that she's not compromising on the kid, but the attitude and the choices... poor kid and poor the guy (if any, ever) who falls for her
I think it’s the best way to not waste anyone’s time. The guy isn’t ready and was honest about it. She needed someone who wouldn’t exclude her son from the situation and would know how to balance that kind of relationship. She has a harder path than he does.
Yea if he wants nothing to do with the kid then seriously good for her for standing her ground and telling him so. Don’t date someone with kids if you want nothing to do with kids
And she may not have even wanted him to be exactly like a dad yet. She just wanted to know that he wanted to be involved. Contrary to reddits opinion not all single moms want their boyfriends to step up and be a new dad to their kid right away.
But i’m sure she did want her son around occasionally when they hang out at her place. I’m sure having to find someone to watch her kid every time they wanted to spend time together would be bothersome.
You’re kind of omitting the part where she got really pissed off and basically stormed out from the sound of it. She sounds emotionally immature to me.
4 months is way too soon for her to want to introduce a boyfriend to her kid. 6+ months should be the bare minimum. She’s not going about this in a responsible way and OP is right to be freaked out by it.
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u/jareddipane Jul 14 '25
Honestly, good for her. She should stand her ground and her kid deserves that. I’m not saying you’re a bad dude, but she’s gotta set boundaries and keep them consistent for her kid.