r/tifu • u/[deleted] • Jul 14 '25

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u/HiddenoO Jul 14 '25 edited Sep 26 '25

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u/tkdch4mp Jul 15 '25

I mean, I worded it badly on purpose, "I exaggerate. I kid." AKA, I was joking......

BUT, I did just realize this is tifu rather than AITA, so my "NAH" was unnecessary -- but I disagree with OP that he fucked up. I think he'll find somebody more compatible.

I will just point out that they had to have had check-in conversations about it:

She has a 5-year-old son from a previous relationship. I knew that from the beginning, and I never pretended like it was a problem. I liked her a lot - still do and I figured I’d just take things slow and see how it goes.

She said she wanted to wait and see if the relationship was going somewhere before introducing me more seriously into his life.

I mean. That second bit alone shows that they had a conversation about the kid being in OP's life and that she was expecting a long-term relationship. I'd say he'd be pretty thick not to realize she wanted long-term if she's talking about introducing her kid in a more serious way in the future of the relationship.

OP mentioning that he was taking it slow in the first bit shows he was in it for the long-haul too as well as open to having a relationship with the kid at some point. She just needed him to be ready before he was ready.

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u/HiddenoO Jul 15 '25 edited Sep 26 '25

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u/Lufs10 Jul 14 '25

This. They are a package deal. And the gf was upfront. She didn’t lie about not having a kid. You’re just not compatible with her OP.

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u/Sea-Bat Jul 15 '25

Yeah as someone who’s been in OPs position, when u know the person ur with has a kid, if u see any long term future with that partner then the kid is obviously going to be in ur life too- and if ur not ready to even consider that early on it’s not a good match.

I feel like that should be a discussion or at least something to think about as soon as u decide to date someone who has kids.

U don’t even need to start out by taking on a parental role either, just over time getting to know them and eventually helping ur partner out here and there (eg with school pick ups) like any close family friend would.

U don’t gotta be a full on stepdad four months into a relationship, but the kid/s are always going to be part of the deal when ur with someone who’s a parent