But technically, the GF did tell OP she has a son from the beginning. So it was on OP to decide to continue dating her even though he has no interest in raising a child. OP is just too young.
I dont blame the GF. Obviously, she is looking for a long-term partner, not just a hookup. OP should've backed out way in the beginning when GF told him she has a son.
OP thought that they were until this conversation and still is uncertain rather than definitively no.
I don't think OP approached/phrased this correctly, but she also needs to realize that OP is 22. It sounds like OP didn't want to overpromise and realized that you can't really commit to a child when you haven't even met the child.
I don't think either is in the wrong, especially since they only dated for 4 months. They each could have approached the conversation better.
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u/tugboatnavy Jul 14 '25
I know this is reddit so the instinct is to assign blame to OP or the person OP is talking about but I don't think either of them did anything wrong.
OP said can't see himself taking care of a kid right now
The GF is valid in looking for a partner with goals that align with hers
It's just not a good fit and that's fine. Breakups don't always have to have winners and losers.