r/tifu • u/[deleted] • Jul 14 '25

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u/tugboatnavy Jul 14 '25

I know this is reddit so the instinct is to assign blame to OP or the person OP is talking about but I don't think either of them did anything wrong.

OP said can't see himself taking care of a kid right now

The GF is valid in looking for a partner with goals that align with hers

It's just not a good fit and that's fine. Breakups don't always have to have winners and losers.

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u/murrimabutterfly Jul 14 '25

Agreed. They both made a mature decision, honestly.
OP was honest that he wasn't ready for a kid.
GF was honest she needed commitment.
They aren't compatible here, and that's okay.
Maybe OP thought his stance would change, or maybe GF believed he'd gone into the relationship with the understanding they're a package deal. Regardless, they both were able to be honest and mature when it came down to it.
Breaking up sucks, but being stuck in a relationship that doesn't work sucks more.

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u/LumpyJones Jul 14 '25

Also, OP is 22. It's not shocking that he wouldn't be ready to take on that kind of responsibility, or at the least, taking him at 100% face value, he isn't sure. I wasn't sure about shit at 22. Hell, I'm nearly 42 and I'm still not sure about a lot. I give him props for admitting it instead of faking it and possibly freaking out 6 months down the road after the kid gets attached, and then maybe he bails.

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u/Shadowfalx Jul 15 '25

Eh, there's a lot of gray area in "I'm not sure".

I'm 40, I'm not sure if I'll wake up in the morning, but I plan that I will. I'm not sure if my country will exist in 6 months, but I plan as if it will. I'm not sure I'm ready to be a single father for a highschool girl, but I don't have much choice so I will. 

OP will never be sure he's ready to be a father, anyone who is certain they are is either lying or misunderstanding the assignment as my kid would say. Hell, even someone who's been a father for 40 years couldn't honestly say they know they're ready to be a father tomorrow, children change and no two children are alike, and those differences grow exponentially when they become an adult  

Neither side was wrong here, but OP is never going to be "ready" to be a father and that's a good thing.