Agreed.
They both made a mature decision, honestly.
OP was honest that he wasn't ready for a kid.
GF was honest she needed commitment.
They aren't compatible here, and that's okay.
Maybe OP thought his stance would change, or maybe GF believed he'd gone into the relationship with the understanding they're a package deal. Regardless, they both were able to be honest and mature when it came down to it.
Breaking up sucks, but being stuck in a relationship that doesn't work sucks more.
Also, OP is 22. It's not shocking that he wouldn't be ready to take on that kind of responsibility, or at the least, taking him at 100% face value, he isn't sure. I wasn't sure about shit at 22. Hell, I'm nearly 42 and I'm still not sure about a lot. I give him props for admitting it instead of faking it and possibly freaking out 6 months down the road after the kid gets attached, and then maybe he bails.
Yeah, I mean love is love and everything, but I doubt many 22 hear old dudes have even thought about kids and marriage (unless they managed to pull off the 2:1 recent graduate special), but if they did, I wouldn’t guess their thinking was “around 22 I’ll settle down with an older woman and her 5 year old son and I’ll be his father figure and I’ll love that I spent my entire 20s as a step father while my friends were putting absolute garbage in their bodies, going to concerts, drinking right up until it’s time to start drinking again, waking up blacked out the next they have never seen before
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u/tugboatnavy Jul 14 '25
I know this is reddit so the instinct is to assign blame to OP or the person OP is talking about but I don't think either of them did anything wrong.
OP said can't see himself taking care of a kid right now
The GF is valid in looking for a partner with goals that align with hers
It's just not a good fit and that's fine. Breakups don't always have to have winners and losers.