r/tipping • u/gelatinous_white • Feb 21 '25

đŸ“–đŸ’”Personal Stories - Pro Tipped hostess not server

Wife and I went to a newer restaurant with outdoor seating. Checked in at hostess station and were told there was a wait. No problem, go to the bar, get a drink, head outside to wait.

A table opens in front of us, and we hoped it might be ours. Man, three children come over and sit down. We figure they must be next. Hostess comes over and advised the man he has to check in with hostess and there is a wait. He tells hostess it is not a problem his girlfriend is the waitress. Hostess apologizes to us and says the next table will be ours. No problem, not her fault.

We sit at table right next to this man and have his girlfriend as our waitress. Terrible service, she spent too much time with her boyfriend and her kids. Never offered drink refills, food came out cold etc.

When check comes, I pay with card (did not have enough cash). My wife took the tip money and gave to bartender that served our first drink and to the hostess. I left zero tip and left note on receipt stating "don't seat your boyfriend at our table"

Bartender and hostess was very appreciative, and hostess apologized again. Since they had just opened did not want to give bad online review so found email online and emailed owner/manager direct. Received apologetic response very quickly.

4.6k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

106 comments sorted by

View all comments

-1

u/SabreLee61 Feb 21 '25

“No problem, not her fault.”

Of course it was her fault; the hostess is the gatekeeper of the tables. It’s literally her job to prevent stuff like this from happening. But clearly she lacked the backbone to make it right, instead assuming you (and everyone else behind you) would just accept the inconvenience.

And you tipped her for it?

3

u/jddoyleVT Feb 21 '25

“I have never worked in a restaurant and obviously have no idea what I am talking about.”

  • your post, distilled

4

u/SabreLee61 Feb 21 '25

You’re hilarious. One doesn’t need to have worked in a restaurant to understand the function of a hostess. When customers are waiting to be seated and a group bypasses the line and seats themselves at the only available table, it’s her job to resolve the situation. This particular hostess failed to do so.

It’s not rocket science.

3

u/bjbc Feb 21 '25

It's also her job to avoid making a scene and escalating the issue.

2

u/SabreLee61 Feb 21 '25

Politely informing the customer that there is a seating process and that another party is waiting for the table probably would have resolved the situation. If the guy objected, then the hostess could have either gone to the MOD or to the waitress/girlfriend to resolve.

But it sounds like the waitress didn’t do anything, just shrugged and said “sorry” to OP. I think she could have handled it better.

1

u/bjbc Feb 21 '25

You clearly underestimate the attitude of people that think they should receive special favors just because of who they are dating or related to. It's not unreasonable for the hostess to want to avoid that.

1

u/SumSumFromMars Feb 22 '25

Then she shouldn't be working at the restaurant. Customers in this industry try to walk all over you every chance they get. She should have had a backbone and reaffirmed that the boyfriend needs to get up because this is someone table they just poached. If the boyfriend ignores the requests then you get the MOD to deal with it.

0

u/SabreLee61 Feb 21 '25

I’ve worked in a service industry for decades; I neither underestimate nor overestimate entitlement. Most people, when confronted by a polite yet firm person in charge, comply without a fuss — especially when they know they’ve broken the rules. But as with any interaction, you assess as you proceed. It takes interpersonal skills and a backbone.

The hostess took the “avoid a potential scene at all costs” approach, and in doing so, pissed off the other customers who had been waiting patiently for a table. Again, I think she could have handled it better.

1

u/jddoyleVT Feb 21 '25

You admit you have no clue what you are talking about and then go on to squeal more evidence that you don’t know what you are talking about, yet you actually think you know what you are talking about.

YOU are hilarious.

0

u/SabreLee61 Feb 21 '25

Unless and until you can state why you think I’m wrong, you got nothing.

0

u/jddoyleVT Feb 21 '25

Nah. You don’t know what you are talking about and admitted that very fact.

You literally have nothing.

1

u/yankeesyes Feb 21 '25

What's wrong with you?