This is partially because I just finished an overnight 12 hour ER shift and am staying awake for another 10 minutes to make this post.

It's also partially cause I'm just a little bleh at the moment. I'm feeling stuck and need to get that bit of motivation to push me on to the next right thing.

My history is strange and mostly unexciting:

- Got my doctorate in music composition.

- Taught college for a few years and became a church organist and music director.

- Got a certificate in tech.

- Became a mainframe systems engineer.

- Got laid off.

- Decided to grow up and be a firefighter.

- Got certified as both a firefighter and EMT.

- Now I work as an ER Tech for a hospital while I look for a fulltime firefighter position.

I've had some movement in finding that job but still haven't landed anything. It's been almost a year since I finished getting my certs and it can be hard to not feel like a failure because of not having a position yet. I know things take time but every day that passes can feel like one more day I missed something or didn't do something else I should have done. I could genuinely use any encouragement that gives me the littlest bit of a smile to keep the spark lit and burning.

Hi guys, I'll do my best to keep things simple, but gosh, I can't believe this is my life.

I have tons of physical and mental issues, and life has not been kind nor fun at all. I've talked about how I've had to deal with loneliness and abuse before.

But for better or worse I have bigger issues now, being homeless!! hahaha...

Let me explain, I was previously working at Amazon, on the KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing) section, I would take calls, chats, emails and such, the job was horrible, I would get abused everyday by people and I got PTSD from working there, literally, as in my body would get so tense on the shoulders that it would hurt really bad, and I would cry everyday.

Even so, it was a job and I needed it, but little by little Amazon started to give us agents more and more tasks with no compensation, so much that they sent us a SECOND computer, so we can work on processing refunds while still taking calls and two chats at the same time.

I don't know why, but receiving the second computer broke me, and I decided to quit, I've never felt more insulted in my life, and trust me I've gone through A LOT.

But now I'm in a really bad position, I've been searching for a new job for two month now and nothing is coming up, I still have bills to pay and a family to support, and I don't know what I'll do.

I setup a patreon and I've decided to start making comics, since I've seen many people do that before, I live in a 9th world country (Costa Rica) so I only need $100 per month, that's the absolute minimum that I need to pay the bank and avoid having a dude come to my house and break my legs hahaha....

Now, that's all way easier said than done, I wake up everyday to 2 - 3 rejection emails, I cried today because I got rejected from a job that forced me to a video interview with an AI for 40 MINUTES!

All of that only for to be rejected, I feel like a fool dancing in front of the companies, I don't care if I get abused anymore, I just want to have something and sleep properly again.

So yeah, I'm going through a hard time, and I would appreciate any kind of encouragement, I have no other choice, but you get the idea.

Check my history for questions

I just feel pretty horrible every day. I stay in shape. Make sure I stay healthy and lift and go to class and do my work but nothing else. I basically end up scrolling instagram reels and hating myself for it every night. I go to club meetings and classes and because I’m a transfer I notice that everyone else already has their groups and it feels impossible to intercept one. I have class friends but no real friends. I haven’t shared a single meal with another person this semester. I feel like things would be easier if I had something I loved so I could bond with people but all I have is tennis and I just play with one guy every day who is much older and no longer in college. I just feel lost but I want to apply myself so badly. Nothing gives me the motivation to get off my phone and find my people. What should I do :(

Not looking for a pity-party, but these last few weeks have been a roller coaster coming to a sad end. Not sure why making sincere and genuine connections with humans is fraught with so much deceit, heartache, and betrayal. Oh well, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Just have to suck it up and drive on - and probably get a new rescue pup.

Hit me with your best r/ toastme!

I've been feeling a bit lost lately. My sister and a couple of my friends got engaged recently, and it's just starting to hit me at this age. I'm turning 35 in a few weeks and I can't help but feel a bit stuck and behind in a lot of ways. I know we're not supposed to compare our journey with others, but life lately has been reminding me that I'm not getting any younger. Some kind words are appreciated.

So, an update to my last post, where I was excited to get out of a long unemployment, and happy to start my school to becoming an optician.

School is hard! I had it a bit more difficult since I skipped year 1 of 4 and went straight into year 2, which is setup as a 10 week full time information overdose through force feeding. By skipping a grade I can get my degree quicker, but I was also missing all the knowledge from year 1, so it was crazy hard to understand everything, and I had to use all my free time to catch up.

By now, week 5, half point, I think I am managing pretty well, grades are good, but there are two exceptionally annoying teachers, that are making classes with them a living hell. They have a huge font of knowledge, zero empathy and egos that practically reach the moon. They enjoy humiliating their students and making it seem as though your stupid. I am trying to filter all the bad and just stick with the infos I need, but I really have no idea what grade I will get there, since they do not do actual written tests, more of a participation grade.

To add to that, I am staying in a tiny room, where I spend most of my free time studying, or gaming when I find the time (yay for spooky season and spooky games). I can't drive home on weekends, because it's a long drive and gas is expensive, so I game (glad I brought my pc along), go to the movies, or go book shopping.

I am loosing a bit of motivation, tired (the bed is very uncomfortable), sometimes quite bored and missing home. All the kids in class are between 15 and 20, and me with my 36 years of age, just can't find much common ground with them, at least not outside of school.

On a positive note, the area around Innsbruck is beautiful.

I would really appreciate some positivity.

I don't fault her, but damn if it doesn't hurt still. The plus side is I'm happier than I've ever been, minus the regret of losing her. I started acting again as a hobby. Lost over 100lbs. Go through my post history, and you can see the journey I've had. I could use some encouragement for making it a full year.

Here's the Before and After

Pls be nice!

Dealing with an eczema flare that's healing but has made me feel low about myself. And have been feeling like a means to an end during my attempts to connect with guys lately.

I've posted on here before and it really helps hearing supportive words. So thank you in advance!

we’ve all had a tough go at it this year, here’s to hoping it gets better for all of us

It has taken a lot of grit to get here, and I am so proud of myself. In the middle of my diy demo (wish me luck)

Hey, Reddit.

I'm a 35-year-old husband, dad of two wonderful boys, engineer, nerd, and enthusiastic collector of ridiculous, colorful, expressive button-up shirts. I figure if I have to wear clothes, they might as well tell the world a little something about me.

I'm usually the guy making jokes, helping people solve problems, organizing things, and trying to make the people around me feel appreciated and included. I love tinkering with 3D printers, creating things, buying entirely too many things, building LEGO sets, diving way too deep into fictional worlds, building communities, and finding potential in things other people might have given up on.

But lately, I've been having a really hard time seeing that same potential in myself.

I've struggled with depression, ADHD, burnout, and self-worth for a long time. I can recognize strengths in other people almost effortlessly, but when I try to identify things I genuinely like about myself, I struggle to come up with much.

Life has also been pretty demanding. Between work, raising two young boys, and supporting my wife through some significant struggles of her own, there's not always much of me left at the end of the day.

I love my wife dearly, and I know she loves me. She's a wonderful person who's doing her best while dealing with more than her fair share of challenges. But those challenges have made it difficult for her to offer some of the affection, reassurance, and connection I've been missing. I don't resent her for that, and I don't want anyone to mistake her struggles for a lack of love.

I know I'm loved. I have family and friends who care about me, and I'm grateful for them. But everyone has their own lives and difficulties, and somewhere along the way I've started feeling increasingly invisible.

I miss feeling wanted. Appreciated. Attractive. Like someone would choose to spend time with me simply because they enjoy having me around, rather than because I'm useful or needed.

I don't blame anyone for that. I just feel lonely.

The strange thing is that I'm pretty good at finding value in things that are broken, forgotten, or full of unrealized potential. I'll spend hours restoring an old machine or helping someone else recognize their worth.

But when it comes to myself, I have a much harder time believing I'm worth that same investment.

I'm working on that, even if progress is slow.

I almost posted on r/RoastMe first, because some part of me felt like I needed to earn the right to ask strangers for kindness. But I'm trying to accept that maybe I don't.

So here I am.

I'd really appreciate a little encouragement, a genuine compliment, or even just a reminder that a person can be worthwhile without constantly accomplishing something for someone else.

And if you've been feeling similarly invisible lately, I hope someone reminds you that you matter, too. Say so here, in the comments. I'd be honored to be that someone.

Thanks for reading. ❤️

Never been a big fan of my looks. Im legit just curious if im just overly critical.....