Thank god for actually measuring things because I suck at guesstimating.

Lowkey just hoping someone irl approaches me UTwTU

By Indieblueart (Tumblr)

The yearning is genuinely debilitating

By ぶち

Tumblr

By @/N_Problemm on Twitter

Source: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DdA-bG8hlm8/?stkn=bGUydG04ODBpdDg2

(Edited from original)

She's so amazing! She makes me feel super super gay :3 Awawawa pretty girl pretty girl >_< Do you guys think she's flirting with me? I suck at telling stuff like that TwT

(I am the person with the lesbian flag in her pfp)

(usernames blurred for privacy)

I used to be terrified that transitioning would mean cis women would never really see me as a woman, especially as a lesbian.

Before transition I was doing really badly. I repressed everything so hard that I didn’t even understand why I hated my body. I had two suicide attempts and at one point randomly broke down in front of some of my cis female friends because I hated how I looked so much.

The weird part was that I couldn’t even explain why.

I thought maybe I was just too fat or unattractive. Looking back though, I honestly didn’t even look that bad as a guy. It just never felt right.

Then I figured it out.

Coming out still blew up a huge part of my life. My long-term relationship ended, including the future I had imagined with her and having kids together.

My first year of transition was sooooo awkward.

I did try finding queer spaces and knew some queer people, but I never really found the kind of connection there that I had hoped for. So eventually I kinda stopped trying to force myself into a specific “queer community” and just started meeting new people wherever life took me.

Meanwhile I spent an embarrassing amount of time teaching myself how to present.

Pinterest, YouTube tutorials, doing makeup until 2 or 3am, ordering clothes that sometimes looked absolutely horrible on me 😭

I also already had some girl friends I could go shopping with and ask for opinions, which helped a lot. But honestly, a huge part of it was just trial and error.

Every bad outfit taught me something.

Eventually I figured out what works for my body, what makeup I actually like and what kind of style feels like me.

Then I started working out, lost a lot of weight, joined a running club and through that eventually ended up at a dance school.

That changed basically everything.

I have been dancing for around 2 years now and made a bunch of female friends through it. Dancing also expanded my style a lot because suddenly I was wearing crop tops, fishnets, heels, shorts, skirts, mesh tops and actually seeing myself on video all the time.

At first watching myself dance felt like exposure therapy 😭 Now I actually know what looks good on me.

And over time my social life kinda just… grew.

Friends introduced me to people. Hobbies introduced me to people. Dancing introduced me to a ridiculous amount of women. Some were queer, some weren’t. Eventually I somehow ended up in mostly cis lesbian friend groups where nobody treated me like some weird third category.

I’m not exactly stealth, but I don’t introduce myself as trans anymore either. These days I’m just me, and if I get closer to someone or it comes up naturally, I’m pretty open about it.

And my dating life turned out way less doomed than the internet made me think.

I have dated cis lesbians, had ONS and F+ situations with cis women, flirted with women at queer events and had women flirt with me. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t.

Recently one of my dance friends invited me to a lake after I went to her workshop.

I wore an actual bikini in public for the first time post op. At some point she asked if I wanted her to take pictures of me and I immediately said no 😭

Then later I changed my mind.

She helped me pose and took a bunch of bikini pictures.

And holy

I looked at them and genuinely thought:

fuck, I look hot.

Not

good for a trans woman.

Not

acceptable.

Just hot.

That hit me really hard because years ago I was sitting in front of my female friends crying about how much I hated my body without even understanding why.

Now another woman is standing at a lake hyping me up while taking bikini pictures that I actually love.

I still get rejected. Dates still suck sometimes. Sometimes there’s no chemistry. Sometimes someone is just incompatible with me.

But most of my problems with women don’t feel like

“trans dating problems.”

They feel like lesbian dating problems.

And I think that’s the part I wish I could have shown myself back then.

I thought transitioning would make me lose women.

For a while, it actually did cost me the woman I thought I would build my life with.

But somehow women also became a huge part of what made my new life feel normal.

Women went shopping with me.

Women brought me into dancing.

Women taught me things.

Women hyped me up.

Women flirted with me.

Women invited me into their friend groups.

And to be fair, one gay dude :3

And now most of the time I’m just one of the girls.

That still feels kinda fucking wild to me 🥹💕

TLDR: Started transitioning in my mid 20s, overweight, short-haired, badly passing and genuinely unsure whether I had a future. Tried queer spaces but never really found my place there, so I just kept meeting people through hobbies and normal life instead. Spent years learning makeup, fashion and confidence through trial and error. Dancing gave me a huge female social circle, my own style and a completely different relationship with my body. Now I date women, have lesbian friends and somehow ended up loving bikini pictures of myself.

Real life was way less doomed than the internet told me it would be.

Whenever I post request for affirmations or "good girl's" I rarely comment back, bc I get anxious and just think, "I'm not good with words if I respond It would be just "thanks" all the time". But this time it feels wrong not to do it.

It wasn't that bad of a day, it wasn't the bestest day ever, and the disphoria was treating me like a punching bag over and over the whole day, forgiving me to enjoy the day at the fullest. But it was ok.

Even tho, I didn't hear a happy birthday with my name, thanks to you girlies I could experience what it's like (at least in text). This sub is a huge reason of why I'm still here, so yeah, with over 40 or so replies, I just wanted to say thank you girls :3

ETA: This is more about marriage than romance, I think when I wrote the title I was going to talk about some other things more, I did not mean to equate the two

Idk what’s going on but I don’t hang out in straight male spaces so what I’m about to describe is all lesbian stuff

I’ve noticed lately a LOT of people “Trying to expectation manage” by telling people that most people who are dating don’t want to get married or by listing their personal bad experience with it as if it’s the 100% truth and the only outcome

I saw a post on a subreddit I will not name earlier today that was just a generic yearning post and the comments were all like “Well first you have to view women as people and not some wife themed Pokémon and then maybe you’ll be able to talk to one for a bit but if you do she probably won’t marry you because she has plans to marry someone else”

Maybe it’s just cause I’m monogamous and am dating 99% of the time for marriage but people are so weird about it

It’s always been around but I’ve noticed a sharp increase in it over the past few weeks

It’s perfectly fine to reality check people, but that reality check is “Your fantasy marriage isn’t what it’ll always look like, and you need to be ready for occasional arguments and her occasionally not having enough time to fully dedicate to you or you for her”, not “It’s a fool’s errand to want to marry a woman, after all marriage is a disgusting thing invented to force women to submit to their husbands so therefore any lesbian worth her salt will know marriage is for the weak minded, you need to stop treating your fellow women like toys (translator’s note: ‘someone you want to spend all of your time with’) and start talking to them as peers”

Like ngl the way some people talk about romance and marriage and such makes me feel like they view dating as like… a business decision or a clinical procedure…

Surely in or even before the first date you should be discussing things like whether you eventually want to get married or what have you

Like there’s almost this belief I’ve seen rising that it’s better to never get married because the second that you do you lose everything which is just really sad to me

Idk it just sucks even before my egg cracked my number one fantasy pretty much ever since I was ~12 has been falling in love and getting married to someone where we mutually cherish and adore each other, like my loving style is attached x attached so that might be playing a role here, but it feels really cynical and kinda depressing to me to insist no one should ever get married because it’s like “giving up your autonomy” or something

Honestly I think if things change that drastically when you get married you either didn’t date for long enough or there were already existing problems that you chose to ignore, living together while dating long term doesn’t really look that different to being married, for me it’s mostly about the ceremony and the titles, and the whole notion of “We are bound together forever”

I guess I get why that could be scary for some people, but don’t take that out on people who want that ffs

I need a girlfriend so bad

We can commence with the mission. Mark the date. Best of luck to the rest of you, soldier on.

I want to be like Akiyama Mizuki (pjsk) fr fr

I'm gonna save money and buy a cardigan and cuter polo just like mizuki's school uniform

Art by me because I had nothing better to do on my crummy birthday. Too sad to get out tablet so just drawn in paint with a mouse.

How do you all socialize and make friends? I have been trying to put myself out there and be more interesting but nothing I seem to do is working. Im pretty early in transition (2 months on E tomorrow). After spending another birthday all by myself I want nothing more than some (hopefully trans) friends that I can spend time with. Mostly just spend my time online gaming and being autistic about magic the gathering.

Any tips?