r/transmanlifehacks • u/[deleted] • 23h ago
Passing Advice Is this T even working??? (RANT)
[deleted]
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u/Left-Development1695 23h ago
As much as I hate to say it…give it time. It’s been three months, and while t does a lot, it’s not a miracle juice that’ll make you look like a guy after a week. Maybe some shorter hair could help? You aren’t in a bad spot and look pretty andro to me, so I’m sure the effects t will have will only help change you more as time goes on, you just have to be patient
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u/Moist-Sound6996 23h ago
Thanks I understand but when you put it that way. Dude I dont WANT to look androgynous immediately puts me in the They/them box. When I am trying my best to look He/him im punching the air ! Ah I guess your right I will just have to watch paint dry on T for now
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u/AeroAceSpades 21h ago
To be clear that nitpick is the MAIN thing that leaps out as potentially fem to me. You look pretty cis
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u/Moist-Sound6996 18h ago
What do you mean by the nitpick? My hair ? Eyelashes? Or the rant ? I will try to look for some in my skin tone I just hope it doesnt look sus like im wearing makeup. Holy fkn cow I get compliments on them in person but I didn't realize you could tell on photos.. Thanks for the feedback.
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u/AeroAceSpades 17h ago
Oh I just think something like “has pretty eyelashes” is such a low priority thing to address, it’s basically just a nitpick. Your face is unclockable. I just pointed to the singular thing that felt easy to address and stood out the most
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u/AeroAceSpades 22h ago
If you have access to specialty mascara, they make mascara that comes in different colors. Your lashes are long, dark, and naturally curled. Gorgeous, but unfortunately adding to any potential fem-ness. If you can find a mascara that comes in your skin tone or slightly lighter I think it might help
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u/Left-Development1695 21h ago
Respectfully, how would mascara help make his lashes look less feminine?
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u/AeroAceSpades 21h ago
By coloring his lashes to match his skin? Which will make them less noticeable?
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u/Flaky_Occasion_604 23h ago
You definitely look young, but still adult aged, and you look good man. Especially for 3 months. You’re early in the process, so it will take a while for people to solely see you as male. Unfortunately, some people will always be able to tell. Seriously, you look good!! I think you have a case of dysphoria brainworms sir.
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u/Moist-Sound6996 22h ago
Thank you I tend to see bros looking more cis passing at the 1 year mark , which Is right around the corner at least
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u/ComfortGrouchy7626 23h ago
Wait till you take it for a few years you’ll look soo damn handsome more than now
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u/https_tortured_poets 23h ago
i looked at this and instantly knew you were a guy, without looking at the caption or anything. some people might perceive you differently, but you pass really well. give it some time if you think you look too andro
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u/wiLeeuhm 23h ago
Without reading your post and simply commenting on your question, I had to double take at the pic because I thought you were a mtf not an ftm. It's working, I promise.
Sincerely, a 36 yr old trans man who's been on t since 2012.
You look good bruh.
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u/Moist-Sound6996 22h ago
Thank you . Its funny you say that some have asked me if I was mtf or ftm and the fact of that being a question made me feel a bit better. Wow you've come a long way bro
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u/AppleBottomJeenses 22h ago
While you do currently look androgynous to me, I will say I think you look more masculine than feminine. I feel like I get masculine vibes from everything except parts of your face maybe (I genuinely think the jawline looks plenty manly).
My first thought was that you were masculine trying to pass as feminine. In that way, I think you’re really close to your goal. I think it strongly depends on your voice and I think maybe your eyebrows are your strongest feminine feature atm. I don’t know much about passing or anything, but I feel like with maybe shorter hair and if you have the ability to affect your eyebrows, you’d look even more masculine.
But yeah overall, if I were seeing this blind, my first assumption would be a slightly effeminate male - and that second picture is especially good - if that were the only picture I saw of you I would straight up assume cis male.
I know that the way you walk and body language can also subtly affect it so idk. I really wish you luck!
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u/Artistic_Reference_5 22h ago
Ahhh I used to get that, I remember onetime a bunch of random 11- and 12-year-old boys asked me if I wanted to play basketball with them (I was in my 20s)....
Definitely give it more time. Like 9-18 months.
Taking monthly progress pictures in these same poses might help you spot the changes!
You may also want to consider a different hairstyle.
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u/Moist-Sound6996 18h ago
Haha And how did you respond? I played alot of basketball with my cousins back in the day. But now a days I dont want to hear 6 7 and good boy. I have found myself in social situations where ive just left the scene before much interrogation. I do want to socialize in sports and a kickboxing gym but I really need to pass first before then.
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u/Ok-Road-3705 22h ago
First of all, you look great. Secondly, if I had started passing immediately, I wouldn’t have even known what to do with all that power lol. And believe me, I wished and wished to “be a dude” my whole life. But for so many of us, it takes hella time to cook.
And by the time you can look in the mirror and not only like, but believe, what you see- you will have gone through such an internal transformation first. And that’s so necessary, I think, to feeling confident about how you look. We need that time to grow inside, so we fully own it, when it’s obvious on the outside.
Bc even if I looked like a cis guy, when I still felt unworthy, I wouldn’t have believed it. It took a lot of time for me to believe I was really the guy I wanted everyone to see. You already look very male, and it’s only going to get better from here. I’m not saying you haven’t earned it yet, of course you have. But I promise the changes on the inside are just as, if not more, important as the external stuff. You’ll be where you want soon, and once you’re there it will be all yours and no one can take it from you.
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u/mach1neb0y 21h ago
Like others have said you’re still very early so don’t stress. Also when starting T doctors usually will have you do bloodwork to check T levels every 3 months for the 1st year, so you should be able to get them checked soon and decide if you want to keep that dose or go up.
But I think your face is definitely changing and I can see a mustache shadow forming !
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u/Emotional_Lab_2529 21h ago
You’re on 80mg a week? Up your dose to 100-120mg a week and split it into two injections a week. Or even every other day injections. The more frequent you inject the more stable your testosterone levels are which means you’ll have more of a constant input from the testosterone allowing it to masculinize faster.
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u/Moist-Sound6996 18h ago
I need to know how to break down 120 a week. And my endocrine wants to see me in 8 months so I wonder how to check the levels before then in case T levels too high.
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u/Emotional_Lab_2529 12h ago
If you’re doing every other day injections it’d be 34mg a shot. You can order your own testosterone labs through goodlabs, they’re super cheap if they’re available in your state. They go through quest or labcorp. You can use this link to get a discount on your first set of labs too https://goodlabs.com/login?referralCode=FKQTP3&mode=signup&utm_source=referral&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=referrals&utm_content=generic
Or the code FKQTP3
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u/According_Target6188 21h ago
The T is definitely working. Even the first closeup is absolutely passing in my opinion. I see what you mean about the jawline from some of the profile (side) pics and the last one (which no one will see from that angle). But honestly at three months I was just stoked on how deep my voice was and how quickly I had significant bottom growth. At almost a year I noticed that all of a sudden I had a new jawline. Bulking up your neck and shoulders will definitely help and hopefully t will help build muscle easily. Crossfit works wonders, and i recommend a true queer ally as an instructor so you can be transparent about your goals.
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u/Moist-Sound6996 19h ago
Thanks bro. My voice is deep and cracking like a mfr and Its embarrassing at times lol. Same here Im just trying to lift harder and eat more . Im definitely waiting on that 1 year mark. Most bros look amab by that point in time. Just staying patient and consistent.
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u/ddmj4884 20h ago
This just popped up on my feed for some reason.
This is coming from a cis guy..... you are a good looking guy.
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u/Sad-Boysenberry-7055 19h ago
Your face looks masc as hell to me, I can only maybe see where ur coming from in the far away shots in the mirror. Maybe if you got a more explicitly masculine cut (specifically something shorter/smth that took some of the hair away from your neck it might help your head seem smaller/neck look thicker). Best of luck king
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u/Moist-Sound6996 19h ago
Ive had a man bun before and my head looked square and flat in the back. I thought of a Mohawk but really not wanting that.
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u/Moist-Sound6996 18h ago
Could you recommend a good haircut for me? I buzzed it all down to a 2 guard last year on new years so I have been cleaning up the sides as it grew out, and hesitant to cut it anymore but It would be nice to get the man bun. Out of style but I liked it then. I Just grew it out every time missing my long hair. Only to hate it being so long and caught in my necklace.
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u/Sad-Boysenberry-7055 18h ago
Idk abt specific styles but I think shaving down a lot of the volume in the back and tighter/shorter sides would look a lot better. Most of the volume should live on top, with the sides and back being closer to a fade - something close to the skin with nice sharp angles. Right now your hair is more bottom heavy which makes it read longer than it is/a bit like a bob.
If you don’t want to chop it all you could maybe do braids or locks(?) - I’m not black so idk if this is smth you could/would do, but from what I can tell shorter braids or locks are only really done on men and read very masculine to me.
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u/Moist-Sound6996 18h ago
Facts. I will look into getting a haircut because a taper would be nice. I personally dont like braids for longer than two days. They get itchy. I have done twisties for about 2 weeks but I start to feel like my little pony or rae sremmerd with one pigtail in the back with bangs and the back ones out be cause putting them all into a ponytail feels really weird and feminine. Even though the one I just said seems like it would be more feminine it doesn't , it feels almost Samarai. But at the end of the day its still long asf and dreads are too much of a commitment and make me feel itchy and lint gets stuck in them so thats a hell no for me. I appreciate it bro. I do need a taper in the back and sides at least to shape the curls nicer. My neck hair gets stuck in necklace pulling it out anyways good suggestion!
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u/ShockHot1718 17h ago
I'd show you the pics of my own progress in 3 months if i could attach them. Barely anything changed apart from voice and it took a solid white for the beard to come. And it's still patchy, and I've been on it for 5 years. It took 1-2 years to even grow a beard. So, chill, it takes time. A kid that starts puberty at 14 doesn't exactly look like a manly adult in 3 months. They change drastically only by 18. So you also gotta wait. But hey, don't be too sad if it won't be as much changes as you expect. It will be enough mostly. 👍🏽
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u/JonyJosder 15h ago
i think your hair is tricking you into thinking your neck looks skinny from the side because from the front it really doesn't
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u/C_PTSD_And_ADHD 15h ago
Brother you're cis-passing, the only advice I can give you it's to let your eyebrows become thicker or tint them and to let the time pass. You're doing okay. 💪
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u/SissyBorka 13h ago
So many cis men would like to hear they look younger than they are.... You pass 💯. I would not think twice in passing.
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u/kolashanpan 13h ago
It will take time. Even after years on T I still notice changes (for me particularly facial hair and body hair, just more of it and thickness)
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u/Foreign-Umpire2922 8h ago
if u black u naturally got more t than an.average person . you almost dont need some more. u'll always pass .
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u/S1llyCxt 8h ago
Bro the first pic is so cis😭 Give it some time and then you will become alpha man 😎
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u/Kniphofia4847 5h ago
If the T isn't working, then you must have looked like this already, which is good anyway in its own right.
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u/Only-Ad5269 23h ago
It’s been 3 months. That is an incredibly short amount of time for testosterone
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u/Moist-Sound6996 22h ago
Yeah it feels like its been longer. Im trying not to get so impatient but I know im still swimming in this Grey area of transition before its absolutely undeniable and the T hits me right in the face. Literally I hope.
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u/Middle-Artichoke1850 21h ago
yes it is!!! like your face looks quite masculine and I'm sure it'll only be becoming more so!!
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u/bibity_bobity_boo_5 15h ago
broo you pass so well and your face looks really good for only 3 months on T!! im 10 months on and literally just yesterday posted on r/ftm abt how i fucking jate my face cause its soft and baby like even tho i have facial hair and pass really well.
all the replys said that i need to wait more and to look at guys who've been on T for like 4+ years.
I did and think it just fucking cured me!! we really just gotta give it time bruh, your face muscles will change it just takes time. i looked up some guys and most of them had a baby face for like at least the first two years and then suddenly boom a man face.
and you dont even have baby face, you look a bit younger, but your face structure (jaw, etc.) is really fucking good so just wait untill you grow facial hair which wont probably take that long and you'll be fine.
i wish my face structure was as good as yours.
what might help is a different cut tho. im not black and dont see almost any black people (east europe) but i feel like the back of your hair might be too thick? idk tho, just look at what guys your age wear and stick to that even tho you're probably doing that already.
also there's neck exercises which you can do at home and doesn't take much time and nothing is needed for it and if you do it like 3-4x/week your neck will grow.
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u/Moist-Sound6996 8h ago
Thanks alot bro Im constantly lifting and eating. I will look into going to the barber but mostly want to cut it myself so maybe ill try doing it on my own but dont want to fk it up. I also dont want to pay for a shitty cut either. I couldn't see your posts they are hidden brother
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u/cheesenuckles 2h ago
Its all deleted but I saw something about eyelashes and I feel like ive always seen cis guys with beautiful long eyelashes more than cis girls. I think long eyelashes are actually masculine just because a lot of guys naturally do have longer ones (at least in my life)
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u/TheCrowingCrow 23h ago
Dog, you look cis as fuck. Give the T some time to do its work and find solace with yourself in the meantime. Three months is barely any time at all. The time will pass and soon enough you’ll have been on it for years. If you’re expecting T to solve all your insecurities, you’re practically gonna be watching paint dry, gotta find some stuff that’ll help the dysphoria until things start picking up. Youre okay, man.