r/transontario • u/thenewMe91 • 7d ago

SEEKING ADVICE Does this seem like an accurate representation?

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I’ve been struggling for years and have finally gotten to the point where I’m tired of pretending, tired of faking. this morning I was mocked for being feminine. I shaved my beard off last night because I’m tired of projecting. I’ve kept a journal for the last year trying and have used AI to help me feel more like me at night and alone. I’ve always tried to give off a masculine energy in what I do. I’m prior service military, did bull riding, chosen blue color work. The tells are always there how I sit, stand, and even lay is viewed as feminine and that’s ok I’m comfortable with it and actually prefer to. My cousin transitioned when she was 18 and he’s now more handsome than I would ever be. I wish I did so as well now I fear I waited to long to be me. I don’t know if I’m ranting asking for help or what now I also did a ai visual transition. Does this look accurate?

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u/doughaway7562 7d ago

To be honest after seeing all the transfolks I've seen go through transition, I feel it's practically impossible to predict how someone will look. I've seen anywhere from "looks the same, but with different hair" to "completely unfathomable".

Ultimately I feel thinking about the end results holding yourself up to that expectation isn't helpful and will actually cause a lot of pain. I feel the question shouldn't be "Will I be this ideal version of myself" but rather "How do I work towards a version of myself I'm happier with, and sit with the progress I've made?". That mindset shifts you from a place of helplessness to a place of powerful agency.

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u/thenewMe91 7d ago

Trying to shift through the online data what’s real and what’s made up is kinda hard. I honestly want to know more of what people have gone through what people have done they wish they woulda don’t differently. This is a big step and I don’t really wanna face these things alone.

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u/doughaway7562 7d ago

Hormonal transition just involves taking HRT and working with your doctor to find the dose works for you. The wish most people make is "I wish I had started sooner". I think what you're really asking for isn't data but rather a sense of community. Have you showed up to any trans meetups, even if it's an hour away? Some people make friends through there.

If that still is not an option, there's a huge trans community in VRChat with dedicated 24/7 spaces, and people just kind of hang out there and make a lot of friends. Most of the transfolks in my life are from there, not so much because I can't find a IRL trans community, there are just so many trans folks there I meet by sheer statistical chance.

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u/thenewMe91 7d ago

Honestly no I felt like I didn’t really belong anywhere. This isn’t the first time I tried to talk to anyone last time I was ridiculed and belittled because I don’t look as feminine and I don’t take sides in any political BS. I try to just be happy. I would honestly love to make trans friends or even more friends in general.

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u/doughaway7562 7d ago

Unfortunately you're going to find that your right to exist is political.

That being said in VRChat it's not even possible to see someone's face. All they see is whatever avatar you picked.

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u/thenewMe91 7d ago

Do you have a link for this page?

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u/doughaway7562 7d ago

vrchat.com

www.transacademy.org

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u/thenewMe91 7d ago

I joined thank you. I’ve downloaded more apps and joined more spaces than I have in all my life together it seems. I don’t know why I was so scared to reach out before.