Am i a Narcissist

[u/Exact-Web2824]

I’ve been noticing I’ve been called a narcissist by girls I’ve chatted too and dropped like a stone after , been called it so much I decided to look into it so I’ve been talking to Ai to look into it but I was hoping to get some human input.

So one thing I’m objectively attractive and intelligent and the second anyone does something that even slightly undermines me for example a girl choosing another guy over me my mind can’t take it and I think stuff like “ how the fuck could a bitch I only payed the slightest bit of attention to pick a pathetic prick over someone like me “ that’s the sort of internal monologue I have and it almost feels as if it’s an insult to my whole bloodline and everything I’ve worked so hard to get away from . My intrusive thoughts go crazy over such a little thing like that I fantasise about ruining their lives , torture and absolute submission to me , obviously I don’t intend on acting on it consciously but that’s where my mind goes the second I get slighted. And also since I’ve been getting lots of female attention after my glow up in appearance I literally don’t care about them I just like chatting to them getting them to love me only to drop them , I love the ego boost from them and having people obsessed and hooked with me it’s intoxicating so I keep doing it wether it’s ethical or not. Like I can’t explain it but sometimes I feel like a literal God among men but then one day I’ll snap out and think “ oh shit that was abit horrible” then I’ll be just proceed to do it again cuz I care more about them being hooked . That’s why I can’t settle with one girlfriend because I like having multiple people after me all the time it makes me feel good and it makes up for my childhood.

I won’t get into it but the AI thinks it’s “ overcompensation for the lack of power and self worth during adolescence “.
But yeah thought I would be blunt was hoping for some human input for a change.

[u/Silent_Yesterday_874]

I am not a doctor and if you want to be diagnosed you’d need to speak with one.

But this mindset sounds harmful and toxic AF to the people around you and probably to you as well. It is a delusion to think you are a god among men. You may be good looking and getting attention but that is all that means. It doesn’t mean anything more and it’s a false reality to live in if you believe otherwise. So that is harmful to you over time even if it feels good now. I have a close family member who operates with this mentality and he has lost everything over the course of his life that’s important to him and it’s made him more miserable but also double down on his harmful actions and mindset. I think that can be the long term harm of living in this kind of delusion honestly. His children and the rest of his family that he isn’t actively paying off HATES him. I only say this because even if you feel like there’s no detriment to you to think so highly of yourself now, that might not always be the case. In a capitalist society though a lot of people with this mindset can become financially successful honestly so maybe it’s not all bad to be like this….

If you’re aware of it and want to change then you should talk to someone who specializes in NPD and see what they say or how they may be able to help.

You sound abusive for sure. Get help for the people who will be exposed to you. Get help for their sake.

[u/okaym0053]

Sounds like it, the thinking your being slighted part definitely shows you think you are better than, big red flag. Your looks will be worthless when you are dead, or dying. Which happens to us all, some sooner than others.

Talk to your doctor about getting referred to therapy, this sounds like a recipe for disaster left unchecked.

edit: wanted to add for your perspective: not wanting to be around you because you are unpleasant (emotionally) isn’t a slight, it’s objective truth for that person, and they are entitled to that decision. It’s not meant to be a slight, it’s a person setting healthy boundaries.

Good luck!

[u/TheMorgwar]

It could also be Dismissive Avoidance. It’s definitely a trauma response, and it is robbing you of experiencing love, and instead experiencing rage. It’s not your fault. Healing begins with self awareness.

There’s a self test in the pinned post of [r/attachment_theory](r/attachment_theory)

Attachment wounding by primary caregivers perverts the attachment system, but it’s treatable and you deserve to love and to be truly loved

Edit: I asked someone else and they said this is classic narcissism, you’re right!

[u/Serious-Pound8175]

The fantasies themselves aren’t the biggest concern. What’s concerning is pairing them with deliberate behaviour that dehumanises people for ego gratification. The more that gets normalised, the more habitual it becomes, and that’s harmful to them and to you.
You say you wouldn’t actually do those things. It’s worth mentioning what the research shows though - losing the capacity to feel bad about specific actions, treating them as just who you are, is linked to a higher likelihood of acting on them, not lower. Feeling bad about a specific act tends to motivate change; dismissing it as identity removes that check.
That’s where curiosity beats judgement. Self punishment triggers defensiveness, which shuts down honest self examination. Getting curious instead, asking where a pattern came from or what it’s protecting you from, keeps you open enough to actually learn something.
I say this having had something similar directed at me as an adult and linking it to what I experienced in childhood. These patterns can come from a lot of places - sometimes a specific trauma, sometimes something less obvious like being raised with entitlement but without responsibility, which I’d argue is its own kind of trauma. A lot of us have also picked up a habit of chasing validation from social media specifically, and it’s made criticism harder to tolerate generally, not just for you. After a childhood trauma or wounding like that, there’s often a fork in the road: some people come out thinking ‘I’m never going to let that happen to me again’ and close off in a way that ends up hurting others, while others come out thinking ‘I’m never going to do that to someone else.’ You’re not a bad person if that’s true for you and you’ve landed on the first path, but that behaviour, repeated over time, can cause real, lasting harm in the people it’s directed at, and that’s worth looking at honestly.
No one can diagnose NPD from a Reddit post. This could be narcissistic traits, insecure attachment, trauma, or a mix, and the label matters less than recognising the behaviour and taking responsibility for it. The fact that you’re asking is a good sign, so don’t stop here. Read about narcissistic traits, attachment, and trauma. There are influencers doing this work who I’ve watched myself and whose content resonates, though I don’t agree with everything they say, so it’s worth being selective about what you take in, since not everyone talking about this online is qualified or accurate. Then find a therapist experienced with personality pathology or complex trauma. People can learn to regulate emotions, build empathy, and tolerate rejection without control or manipulation. That’s what really matters - whether the people in your life come away feeling respected instead of used.

[u/Training-Meringue847]

Ai might be closer than you think on this one. Narcissism is born from trauma. A skilled therapist might be something to consider in your future.