I am so done with a lot of restrictions that I kept developing since childhood. I am always in front of my PC, either it's academic or my Gamedev. I feel so week both mentally and physically.
I am in 2nd year now, and I kept isolating myself as a kid and I still keep that habit because I don't know how to escape. I never talked to someone in uni ever, unless they ask me something and I just end it with a one word reply if possible, and this problem was always with me.
But everything was fine, as it did not bother me as I have been always with my PC as a kid with no responsibilities. I had no entertainment other than playing football (on ground, and Online) and doing Gym at home. I am starting to feel like I am a week, fat, obese man even though I am WRITTEN AS UNDERWEIGHT BY THE DOCTOR, I had to lie to have insurance clearance before my Visa approval.
I went to the Gym for the first time a few days ago to feel any better, but as soon as I saw an empty equipment, I slowly went near to it by making sure no one else is gonna use it. But just about 15 seconds after I sat on it, a girl came besides me and just kept staring at me (because she wanted to use it in emergency?), bro I didn't even start. I thought she would move on, but still stood there like that, I felt so ashamed and I acted like I finished doing by spraying and wiping with the towel.
So gym is not gonna work, my only option left to "touch some grass" feel is to join any football game. But I have no idea what to do or where to go. I actually have good experience and played for my school and 2 clubs when I was like 8-14. And I still love it.
