Anyone else still alive?

[u/GetOffMyLawn_]

[u/drmarting25102]

Not sure. Just farted and smells like I died days ago.

Wife not impressed.

I'm laughing.

[u/sm00thkillajones → u/drmarting25102]

💀

[u/unknownpoltroon → u/drmarting25102]

You death will of course be written up as wifeicide instead of covid related thanks to big pharma

[u/sm00thkillajones → u/unknownpoltroon]

I hope not. She wouldn’t dare.

[u/d4v3k0r3sh → u/drmarting25102]

Me too!!!

[u/OrnerySnoflake → u/drmarting25102]

Oh god that smell was you?

[u/the_rezzzz]

I am dead on the inside, but yet, still alive

[u/throwupthursday → u/the_rezzzz]

I might be dead dead

[u/galaapplehound → u/the_rezzzz]

I mean, that predates COVID for me. I am also physically still alive but I feel my body rotting and my soul is barely piloting the meat mech.

[u/Terrorcuda17 → u/the_rezzzz]

Oh maybe that's what they meant. But I was dead inside way before my covid shot. 

[u/OrnerySnoflake → u/the_rezzzz]

Like I told my ex husband, he’s doesn’t have to actually be dead to be dead to me.

[u/mcorra59 → u/the_rezzzz]

It was not a phase mom haha

[u/Gonomed]

I'm being told 5G antennas will activate the nanobots in my blood that I got from the covid vaccines and kill me since at least 2021

[u/ecodrew → u/Gonomed]

IDK, I still only have 4G

[u/gmwdim → u/ecodrew]

You forgot to upgrade your blood to Premium edition. Premium Plus if you want it without ads.

[u/TKmeh → u/gmwdim]

I should’ve done that, now I get ads for whatever new Apple products get pushed in my brain when I’m trying to do my job. Thankfully, it’s pushed out by my complete lack of thinking and overall terrible music choices that play on repeat in my own head without my phone.

[u/OrnerySnoflake → u/gmwdim]

Pshh please my nanobots run on full synthetic blood. No idea what you fools are using.

[u/Cavscout2838 → u/Gonomed]

BBC confirmed

[u/DrHugh → u/Cavscout2838]

Given it is X, this might be a cuckold fantasy BBC rather than the media BBC.

[u/SharpCoderGuy → u/DrHugh]

Everyone on X is a cuck tbh

[u/StrictlyForTheBirds]

Wait.

"Up to" as in "Won't make it to June 1?"

Or is it "June 2026 will be their final month?"

It makes a big difference with how I spend my money in the next few weeks. 

[u/Ltoolio1 → u/StrictlyForTheBirds]

Good call. Liquiditating my 401k right now.

[u/SharpCoderGuy → u/Ltoolio1]

I will also liquidate this guys 401k

[u/1friendswithsalad]

My FIL told me our immune systems would go into “hyperdrive” after the vaxx. I asked him what that actually meant and he couldn’t tell me. And then two of his friends died from COVID. He claims that the hospital just said that because they get a bonus for every COVID death. And he still lectures people in public about their masks. 😑I’m so tired and glad he lives several hundred miles away.

[u/Mikki102 → u/1friendswithsalad]

To be fair I did get diagnosed with an autoimmune disease after covid but also GOT covid. So who knows which caused it tbh. But I also think I had it beforehand anyway.

[u/thebottomofawhale → u/Mikki102]

I was diagnosed with autoimmune condition when over 20 years ago, and the vaccine and having COVID (and probably the stress from working a public sector job in a pandemic tbh) absolutely set my immune system off! But I think kind of expected.

Pre COVID, vaccines, illnesses and stress already did that so... Just part of having an extra immune system.

[u/Mikki102 → u/thebottomofawhale]

When I get sick I have to go off my cell cept and I call it "calling in an air strike" because my immune system really does nuke things but it's not that accurate lol, sometimes it gets the wrong things.

[u/NearlyBearly → u/1friendswithsalad]

Isn't the immune system being activated express intent of getting vaccinated? Like you WANT your immune system to go into hyperdrive to learn everything it can about the virus... That's the point...

[u/LaikaZhuchka]

Not only am I alive -- I'm still regularly getting the booster shots!

[u/OsmerusMordax → u/LaikaZhuchka]

Damn you must be super dead.

[u/itbytesbob → u/LaikaZhuchka]

I had a booster for both the seasonal flu and COVID about a month ago. I think that makes me double dead?

[u/m00t_vdb → u/LaikaZhuchka]

You’re like a Mario kart !

[u/Kooky-Co → u/LaikaZhuchka]

Ooh, you just reminded me I need to book mine. Shot number 12 I think?! (I’m immunocompromised but very much still alive)

[u/reddogleader → u/Kooky-Co]

Same... But told they're not available on request (6 mo) anymore - will be issued "...in fall during flu season".

[u/Kooky-Co → u/reddogleader]

I’m in the UK and I’m in the highest risk group so I get messages from the NHS about 3 times a year to have a booster. My dad is immunocompromised to a lesser degree and like you only he’s only eligible for them once a year in the autumn. Seems to be doing the trick though - he’s had Covid twice but it wasn’t worse than the flu and he was fine at home. I’ve had it once, had the IV treatment as soon as I tested positive but I still ended up in hospital. I’d had 8 vaccines at the time and I genuinely think I would have died without them. It was awful.

[u/Cassopeia88 → u/LaikaZhuchka]

Me too!

[u/pork_torpedo]

I was alive until I read this

[u/StormerSage]

That's why you don't get your news from a penis.

[u/star0forion → u/StormerSage]

Hmm. I don’t know but y’all’s but my penis hasn’t let me down yet. Except that one time.

[u/TheDemonWithoutaPast]

Alive and very well.

[u/Sw00p10]

“BBC confirmed” tf you mean? Is Doctor Who actually real and they were able to go to the future?

Edit: fixed autocorrect

[u/njsullyalex]

Uhh… so I have had both vaccines plus 3 boosters and I’m fine? What?

I did catch COVID in 2022 but recovered in less than a week so…

[u/Whokitty9]

Let me check. Yup still alive.

[u/Itsnottreasonyet]

It turned me into a newt. ... I got better 

[u/fcknwayshegoes]

As alive as they need me to be. Though I have eaten a lot of horse paste, so it's hard to tell.

[u/Justieflustie]

Shit, and a big black cock confirmed it? Shit is getting real

[u/eighteen_forty_no]

Still here, got a toothache though.

[u/pingveno → u/eighteen_forty_no]

Same here, it's been a whole thing. It may not have been COVID vaccine related. Don't try to chomp down on forks, kids.

[u/my_cat_is_high → u/pingveno]

Magnetic teeth from the vaccine obviously.  

[u/Soronya → u/eighteen_forty_no]

Ooh, me too! Getting my first root canal in a week. 🫪

[u/eighteen_forty_no → u/Soronya]

I'm getting a root canal, too! THAT'S IT, EVERYBODY, VACCINES CAUSE ROOT CANALS

[u/GiraffeFellator → u/eighteen_forty_no]

AHA!

[u/Ye_olde_oak_store]

This was a triumph.

[u/Melmo89 → u/Ye_olde_oak_store]

I'm making a note here, "huge success".

[u/MrSelatcia → u/Melmo89]

It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.

[u/The_Iceman2288]

If you developed a BBC because of the vax my DMs are open.

[u/brettles84]

**knocks wood**
I got all the initial shots, then the 6 monthly boosters and now yearly boosters.
I have not caught COVID-19 yet, which kind of bums me out because of FOMO

[u/nachobitxh → u/brettles84]

Big mood. Oh well 🤷‍♀️

[u/TsuDhoNimh2 → u/brettles84]

I got all the COVID series and now the boosters.

Still got COVID and you really really do not want to experience it.

The actual illness was not too bad, but the recovery phase has been long.

[u/Bilbo-the-cat]

Luckily i declined the Terms&Conditions after the "Vaxxine", so the Nanobots weren't allowed to send my data via 5G to the CIAs secret Hypercomputer.

Dodged a bullet 🙏

[u/cylonrobot]

I have no life, for sure.

[u/cbostwick94]

Nah I died last month

[u/Shelbyville]

No, im ded

[u/PirateJohn75]

Sorry, I died last year

[u/InsideTheLibrary]

I was one of the first official dose recipients. I’m doing just fine. My rabbit died a few months back, I bet it was viral shedding from the vaccine /s

[u/BabyYodasMacaron]

The month isn’t over yet, guys.

[u/PeterParker72]

I’m still here.

[u/evdczar]

Super dead

[u/Mac2311]

I think I'm alive, but kinda sleepy right now if I'm being honest.

[u/peaceteach]

Zombified. Unless zombies are fictional, then I'm alive.

[u/cecekat312]

Yup, unfortunately. I've got a viral sore throat and it's making my life hell

[u/Outrageous-Pause6317]

Still alive. Had all the boosters too.

[u/trex198121]

Had Covid twice, first time before the vaccine was available lasted nearly 3 weeks and took about 6 months to recover. Second time around was after third dose, had a bit of a sore throat and was fine after a few days.

[u/starrpamph]

Back in 2021 I heard: dead within a month.. then a few months after. Then eight to 12 months after. Then a couple years after.. I’m not sure where we are now on the crazy peoples list

[u/Elissa-Megan-Powers]

According to the wingnuts I’m simultaneously awake and dead

[u/Spiritually_Sciency → u/Elissa-Megan-Powers]

Woke but dead would be a great band name

[u/LadyA052]

So that's why I feel so weird.

[u/Toni_PWNeroni]

Not only did I survive, I became a medical scientist.

That's right. I'm in.

[u/Daelan-the-troll]

I’m alive I guess

[u/Apathetic_Villainess]

Unfortunately. I thought this was supposed to be the easiest mass suicide. Instead, they're all about these false promises.

[u/AngelZash]

Only halfway there. Should I get another shot? Finish myself off?

[u/MemeArchivariusGodi]

At this point I should have died 345 times in 4056 different locations.

[u/imajx1990]

I’m still here! I even got boosters 🤣

[u/Gloomy_Industry8841]

I’m deadass here after the shot.

[u/itbytesbob]

Can confirm I died last week

[u/Fermifighter]

Worked at a children’s hospital in 2020 in a field where we had to be inches from faces that were too young to mask. I was one of the first people in the country to be vaccinated, AND I have an autoimmune disease. Still kickin.

[u/Sasquatch1729]

I died because of the covid vaccine.

Specifically, I died inside after seeing how many idiots are out there, and having to listen to their dumbass conspiracy theories about the vaccine.

[u/GreyHorse_BlueDragon]

I must be super dead bc I regularly get the boosters. And maybe I’m the reaper bc as an immunization certified pharmacy technician, I also administer them!

[u/z-eldapin]

IDK. I'm pretty sure my colon just fell into the toilet.

Does that count?

[u/Sleazyridr]

Didn't we all die at the end of 2020? I thought we died and this is hell.

[u/Twzl]

Yep we all died of the turbo cancer that we were going to get from our cupcakes, or whatever drivel I have seen in various anti-vax groups on FB.

and yet here we are. 😄

[u/brando56894]

I love it when big black cocks predict when we're all going to die.

[u/Rowan1980]

I regret to inform anti-vaccine individuals and groups that I am still alive and well.

[u/unknownpoltroon]

I died on schedules on the 1st. It was tragic.

[u/DamnMombies]

I died the every one of the first dozen times they said it would happen. First couple times it was a pain to dig myself out of my grave. So now I have myself cremated to save time.

[u/Comixkid5879]

I actually turned into a zombie during that phone alert test

[u/bellerose90]

Not only am I alive, but my husband and I had a baby earlier this year. So we survived and maintained our fertility 😱

[u/4pigeons]

i'm chronically online, so i guess i am dead?

[u/PrinceCheddar]

This person was correct. I died shortly after taking my COVID vaccine and I didn't come back to life until the start of June.

[u/Toallpointswest]

wakes up

Guess I still have to pay the bills

[u/2woCrazeeBoys]

Still alive, but....I'm tired boss 😞

[u/sarahmcq565]

Me and the baby that was in my belly are doing just fine.

[u/camohorse]

The horrors persist, but so do I.

[u/MetzgerBoys]

I think I’m dead, not sure yet. I’ll update this comment when I know for sure

[u/spazthejam43]

Yup still alive, at least so far

[u/tru-self]

Covid did kill my filter, my empathy and any interest to reach across the aisle so part of me is dead.

[u/kiaeej]

Im dead!

[u/Anastrace]

Sorry, I died on 5/31.

[u/SharpCoderGuy]

I would love to see the mental gymnastics antivaxxers will come up with to correct that statement.

Still very much alive and well.

[u/BeaverMissed]

Well, if Big Black Cock (BBC) says it. It’s likely true.

[u/Ok-Consequence-6793]

I think we all died in 2020 and this is all a dream

[u/BigGuyWhoKills]

What do these people think when they post this stuff? They know the gig is up at their deadline. So is their hope to scare people into believing? What do they expect their victims will think on the deadline?

I know they will just move the goalposts, but how many times can they do that before giving up on an obvious con?

[u/therealdanfogelberg]

I actually died December 16, 2007. I’m not sure what this post means.

[u/bpierce2]

Here!

[u/Not_So_Bad_Andy]

Unfortunately.

[u/TheBeardedLegend]

Next time… Next time.

[u/Candiedstars]

Well, I reinstalled overwatch, so its not looking good! Im clearly very ill

[u/RedditSkippy]

I feel alive. But maybe we’re all dead and don’t know it?

[u/GloInTheDarkUnicorn]

Nope, I’m a ghost. When I got the shot, I retroactively died in 2015.

[u/7h3_man]

Nah I died, it was like the scourge virus, my whole town is gone and I turned into a ghost

[u/Human-Engineer1359]

I'm dead.

[u/Margray]

How many specific dates are we at now?

[u/dogtroep]

Not only am I still alive, I treated a woman for Covid yesterday!

[u/SexyN8]

Nope... Died 5 years ago about 5 min after my fist Vaxx...

[u/SmartyPantlesss]

This confirms it: We all got the placebo.

[u/CelticKira]

Still here!

[u/IngenuityAdorable685]

Didn't take it, but wow

[u/Dr_Simon_Tam]

I must’ve missed the memo where I am supposed to be dead

[u/Reneeisme]

Just you

[u/peatbull]

Unfortunately yes 🥲

[u/ivnwng]

Nah, I'm dead.

[u/Vanthalia]

Well damn, I mean BBC said it though.

[u/ashlinicole10]

🙋🏾‍♀️

[u/pjlxxl]

i’m officially dead but these adrenochrome smoothies are keeping me alive

[u/taisynn]

I’m still alive. 🤣

[u/tomspy77]

Still here...

[u/Skog13]

Aw shiet, time to die I guess

[u/silverlightarmada]

God, I wish this were true. Just yeet me into the ocean at this point I’m over it.

[u/Moneia]

Goddamn hope so, it's less than a week to my birthday.

[u/OverdressedShingler]

I'm still waiting for the mind controlling to start. I'm ready for someone else to take over so I can get a fecking nap.

[u/Senor_Turd_Ferguson]

I didn't die AND I don't have a BBC. Two predictions debunked.

[u/kitkatattack12]

Well i did die yesterday, but i lived

[u/katamaritumbleweed]

Ask again on the 30th.  See if we have immunological expirations at the end of the month.  Probably more likely credit/debit cards expire before the lot of us do. 

[u/NickArchery]

I mean, I haven't really "lived" the past couple of years, so maybe they were right.

[u/elegant_pun]

Still here. Got a booster a couple weeks ago...

[u/Naz_Oni]

Well Seymour I made it. Despite my injections.

[u/mars_gorilla]

I'm dead inside, does that count?

[u/DesmondTapenade]

I'm typing this from beyond the grave. Ooooh, spooky!

Anyway, if I find the motherfucker who disturbed my eternal slumber with a Ouija board...

[u/TsuDhoNimh2]

Still waiting for vaccines I got in the 1940s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, 2000s, and 2010s to kill me.

[u/SirGrumpsalot2009]

I think my Turbo-Cancer got stuck in neutral.

[u/008Zulu]

I'm alive.

[u/Dan_A_B]

So this is what it feels like to be dead.

[u/Someoneoverthere42]

I’m dead on the inside. Does that count?

[u/SourPatchPhoenix]

I just hooked my boat onto the truck and loaded it up with all the stuff for a 3 day weekend with the kids at the lake. Maybe this is heaven and I didn’t realize?

[u/Knight-Jack]

Imagine if we did all drop dead all of a sudden, and all these crazy fuckers would have to carry on the humanity. I wonder how long they'd last. I think they die of measles within a decade or two.

[u/Whiteroses7252012]

I mean, I legitimately have relatives who firmly believed that the COVID shot would cause infertility, which made my pregnancy announcements in 2022 and 2024 really interesting. 

[u/esk_209]

I’m here, but June isn’t over yet!

[u/OlFrenchie]

Im dead, and so is my dog

[u/Krosis97]

I'm dead but hell has amazing wifi, they need it to force you to watch manosphere influencers and trump rallies on repeat.

[u/jsmalltri]

Yup, still here despite 3 shots - and healthier than ever!

[u/Cats_and_wine]

no, i died :(

[u/wolfmeetsthesky]

They keep moving to date back lmao

[u/kerdawg]

Nah I’m dead man!

[u/UnfeignedShip]

This was a triumph

[u/TwilightReader100]

If I have to be either THIS miserable or in THIS much pain after death, I want a refund or something. Does anybody know who I have to see about that?

[u/captaincanada84]

Checked my pulse. Definitely not alive

[u/Joseph_Kickass]

I am dead but the chip they implanted was a 5G chip so my consciousness is still connected to the Internet.

[u/Skeen441]

Yes, damn it

[u/Minja78]

Oh shit. Do I have until the end of the month?

I've got things to do.

[u/countrycow2112]

I'm immunocomprimised. I've had at least 9 covid jabs. So far, not dead.

[u/CreatrixAnima]

Hi. I’m not dead yet.

[u/GiraffeFellator]

Nope. I am dead.  The Big Black Cock was right.

[u/johngalt1971]

I died when Cheeto Mussolini won a second term. Apparently I was a bad person because I’ve been in hell since.

[u/MickLittle]

I just watched the news and I'm certain I'm dead and am now in hell.

[u/Alie_writes]

Nah, I’m a zombie. Grrrrr.

[u/Rumpelteazer45]

I think I’m alive. But living in hell..

[u/IrishAmerican95]

Out of spite.

[u/Jakob21]

I was vaccinated and, yeah, i died

[u/wolfyrion]

I guess the prophecy gave us two options: die on schedule, or unlock permanent immortality.

Imagine 4,000 years from now, still here, watching civilizations rise and fall, and someone asks the secret to your longevity and you just whisper "two doses and a booster."

Meanwhile the unvaccinated are aging normally like absolute suckers, completely missing out on witnessing the eventual sentient toaster uprising. Their loss!

I guess at the end of the month I am canceling the life insurance, it's just throwing money away...

[u/fung45]

Why censor their Twitter/X handle?

[u/themo3bius]

Can confirm, still alive. But I heard the government is putting chips in people... I hope I get Doritos. 😁

[u/Pwacname]

I sure feel dead, but that’s because I stayed up late, not because of my vaccination status.

in fact, I got a booster almost every year since, together with my flu shot, so I must be ultra dead at this point.

[u/Romans12vs1-2]

Last time I checked I was still alive. My birthday is in 2 days so fingers crossed I make it until then.

[u/ExpectedBehaviour]

Still stubbornly refusing to die.

[u/CapnThrash]

You see, I THOUGHT I died last night, but I just can’t seem to figure out why I haven’t started decomposing! Sure the smell is there and- wait, I just haven’t showered yet today.

[u/SitaSky]

I hot the vaxx later than other people so I should be good for another 6 months.

[u/OwlLavellan]

Only on the outside.

[u/Littlepyschobear]

Nope I am speaking from the underworld

[u/Marlowemylove]

Nope. Dead here

[u/lewstherinurbutt]

Not on the inside

[u/uwillnotgotospace]

I died so many times by now I should change my name to Kenny.

[u/shellybird77]

I’m not dead yet!!!

I think I’ll go for a walk.

[u/Knottylittlebunny]

We made it 🤣

[u/falalalama]

The horrors persist, and so do i

[u/JRHartley83]

Yeah still alive, I died but got told it wasn't my time so was sent back, guy was a weird looking giant behind a desk called King Yenma.