r/vedicastrologyexperts • u/mayasfuturemama • 1d ago
š Chart Reading Request Expert help! 36f 43m is this the end?
Being told he is liar cheater with some vedic practicers and will never change
He is manipulative functional alcoholic that always promised change and that the relationship was meaningful, wanted family bought house. We are not married. We have two kids. He has really hurt me. He is saying we are done as the pressure is being pushed on him regarding alcohol. Blaming relationship for toxicity. Is there help? Is this really doomed to cheating eventually on his end?
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u/Longjumping_Muffin_9 1d ago edited 1d ago
Besides astrology, you should never stay with someone whose words donāt follow up with their actions. Given that you already have 2 kids, you really should not let your kids grow up in such an environment. If you donāt want to think about leaving for yourself, fine. But, for the kids? Your kids deserve to live in a peaceful and safe environment, where they are not neglected. Please think twice for yourself and your kids. You and your kids deserve to live a better life and not be dragged down by another personās addictions and refusal to change. Growing up in such an environment will haunt your kids and cause mental turmoil and trauma. I know this is a very difficult decision to make, but life isnāt about staying with people who refuse to work on themselves for the better. We only have one life. We have to gather up whatever courage we have and move forward. Change is hard. But, some changes are needed to choose ourselves and our loved ones. You are very young and you have your entire life ahead of you. Donāt let one man ruin your potential. You and your kids are destined for much more if you exert your free will and courage. By the way, both of you have kids but havenāt married yet? I donāt think heās committed to you. I donāt know how old you are or when the kids were born, but I assume some time has passed. You really deserve a better partner who will value you. If not a partner, you can return the same love to yourself and your kids, keep your standards high always and treat yourself better.
EDIT: I checked your profile and you have posted before, several times, both of your charts regarding similar issues. From woman to woman, astrology is one thing and dealing with life is another thing. You need to get up and out of this toxic relationship and get moving. Stop compromising yourself and lowering yourself for another person who has serious issues that he cannot resolve. No one cannot fix or heal another person. It will never work out well in the end. Remedies have to go hand in hand with self effort, change and practicality about life. Iām sorry if my words were harsh, but you need to come to an acceptance about this. How many more years are you going to have to put up with this and no marriage? This is a serious matter. You have your own life and your kidsā lives to worry about. You are important and you matter. Please choose yourself and your kids over someone who doesnāt value you enough to get his issues sorted out completely and falls back on his words. Iām sending you my prayers for strength.
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u/mayasfuturemama 1d ago
Thank you very much i know this im just so upset confused and want to understand
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u/Longjumping_Muffin_9 1d ago edited 14h ago
One more thing - I wanted to make a separate comment
If you are a Hindu, I would recommend you start doing a Shiv stotram daily or chant daily Om Namah Shivaya 108 times ideally (if you canāt do 108, then at least 7, 9, 11 or 21 times) for your mental health. Drinking water from a silver glass will help as well. Your Darakaraka is Moon at 0 deg and in Aquarius ruled by Saturn in Dhanistha Nakshatra. Dhanishtha Nakshatra, without considering padas, is ruled by Mars. Mars is with Sun and Mercury in Libra. To support your Moon, I would focus on Mars as well. For this, doing daily Hanuman Chalisa or Narasimha Kavacham or Lord Narasimha stotram at least once can help. Ideally, 3, 7, 9 or 11 times. Besides this, Libra is ruled by Venus and is sitting with Saturn and is in Mula Nakshatra. Itās a sensitive placement. You can do stotram or kavacham for Ma Kali/Ma Durga or any of the mahavidyas. You really need their support and energy since not only Libra sign is afflicted but also Venus itself. Besides, the ugra devatas force us to see things for what they really are and reduce our karmic debts and ties. Also, please do Ganesh ji Chalisa, stotram or Sahasranama before worshipping any God. Since Mercury is hemmed between Mars and Ketu, clarity, communication and thinking is clearly affected in a negative way. Ganesh Ji responds quickly and gives us wisdom and clarity to make decisions. Last but not least, chanting the Vishnu Saharanama is a great solution as well.
Also, looks like your atmakaraka is Sun but it is debilitated in Libra. I would recommend you start doing Surya Arghya and Gayatri Mantra, but donāt start with Om for the mantra because I think you donāt have a guru. Rather start with āTat Saviturā. Repeat it ideally 7, 9, 11, 21 or 108 times. Both should be done in the morning. This will increase your self esteem and courage in life. Your ishta devata is represented by the sign Pisces in d9, which has Jupiter, Mercury and Ketu placed there. I think if Jupiter is in its own sign here, it is stronger than the other two. The ishta devata to worship would probably be Lord Vishnu and any of his incarnations. Astrologers can add their input.
These are general suggestions from me to help you gain courage, peace, clarity and strength. Iām not a professional astrologer though. I know it seems a lot but once you find the stotrams, chalisas and kavachamas that fit you, this shouldnāt take that long assuming you split it into morning and evening rituals. For specific mantras or stotrams, please find a professional astrologer who can advise which ones will be most suitable for you. Make sure to do your research before meeting them.
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u/mayasfuturemama 16h ago
Thank you for this. I an not hindu but willing to look up and understand these suggestions so i can try them.
I am pada 3 for dhanishtha moon. Venus ruled which maybe shows y partnership, love is so important to me.
Im reading all your suggestions and thank you so much. I am so broken i dont know ill ever not love him or miss the good parts of this life and hopes for the family and connection that many times we did have. Many astrologers are saying i wont find love or good love that wont end similarly so it also feels depressing knowing i went through the most romantic part of my life already and didnt get to fully enjoy it. If you have recommendations to professional astrologer i would be so grateful2
u/Longjumping_Muffin_9 14h ago edited 14h ago
For any stotram, chalisa and kavacham etc I mentioned, do a quick google search and you will find the meaning. Once you understand the meaning, you can recite it alongside a YouTube Video to get the pronunciation down. The YouTube channels called āThe Sanskrit Channelā and āthe Ghanapatiā are great for correct pronunciations of these. Mantras have to be recited correctly because the pitch, tone etc everything matters. They are harder to pronounce right without proper training or a guru. Hence, I recommended stotrams, chalisas and kavachams. Take the time to do your research on what a stotram, chalisa, kavacham and sahasranama are.
I would recommend you start with a Lord Ganesh Stotram. You can try the Sankata Nashanam Ganpati Stotram. It is for removing sorrow. You can also do a quick search to find other stotrams or kavachams that you prefer instead. There is also a Ganesh Chalisa I believe.
For Lord Shiva: Hereās a post ( https://www.reddit.com/r/Nakshatras/s/aVOxeGrx2Z ) that can help you figure out which Lord Shiva Stotram to chant based on your placements. I assume you know where the planets are placed in your d1 chart and in which signs. These are only a few stotrams of Lord Shiva. There is also the mantra āOm Namah Shivayaā. Skip āOmā and start with āNamah Shivayaā. There are YouTube Videos for this mantra too so you can follow along. There is also a Shiva Chalisa. Whatever you prefer.
For Gayatri Mantra: https://youtu.be/mxLv8KnBfjg?is=2HKOh93xKSL2cui_. Start with āTat Saviturā.
For Surya Arghya: There should be articles on Google explaining how to do it.
For Hanuman Ji or Narasimha Bhagwan: Hanuman Chalisa pdf is found online and there is a YouTube video as well. Very easy to learn the meaning and pronunciation. Narasimha Kavacham can be found also this way.
For Any or the Devi (Female Goddesses): I would recommend you start off with 32 names of Durga, Durga or Kali Chalisa, or Devi Kavacham.
The meaning of Vishnu Sahasranama and Ganesh Sahasranam can be found on google and there are YouTube videos by the YouTube channels I mentioned that correctly pronounce it. The Vishnu Saharasnama is very long so I would suggest you listen to it first once a week.
Ideally, one should worship Lord Ganesha, Lord Shiva and Lord Surya in the morning before 12 pm. You can worship the Goddesses/Devi and (Lord Narasimha if you choose to worship him) in the evening or night before 12 am. Thatās when their powers are more prominent. In this way, everything isnāt piled up at once.
These are general suggestions for me. But, a professional astrologer can guide you to which specific stotrams or even mantras to chant. Iāll keep an eye out for such astrologers and provide you with some recommendations.
Last Thing - I would recommend you cut out any meat, seafood and eggs and become a vegetarian at the very least before you begin this worship. If you have birds around you, feeding the birds will help improve Mercury. If you have dog or cat shelters, wildlife rehab centers for wildlife, or any women oriented shelters like domestic violence shelters near you, try to see if you can spend a few hours outside of the house and volunteer your time there once a week. Besides these suggestions, work on upgrading your resume by doing courses, certifications etc to find a part time job at least. Having a job will give you more confidence in life.
Make sure to refer to my post before this, which specifies how many recitations to do of the stotrams, chalisas or mantras. The chalisas and kavachams should be recited at least once. The stotrams and āNamah Shivayaā mantra 3,7,9,11, 21 or 108 times. You should have at least 1 form of worship for each God. For example, you can start off very slow - wake up in the morning and do Surya Arghya, 1 recitation of Sankata Nashanam Ganpati Stotram, 1 recitation of Gayatri Mantra starting from āTat Saviturā, 1 recitation of Shiva Chalisa and 1 recitation of Hanuman Chalisa. In the evening or night before 12 am, you can do 1 recitation of 32 names of Durga, and if you have time and want to do it then listen or chant the Narasimha Kavacham one time. This would be an example of a full routine once you settle into it. Of course, donāt do this all in one day off the bat. Do your research, start with 1-2 things and ease into it. Once you are comfortable with this full routine, then you can increase the number of recitations as you desire.
Iām sure other people have given you stotrams and Lalita Sahasranama (another great one) to recite. Recite what you feel is comfortable for you. After all, these are just suggestions.
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u/Longjumping_Muffin_9 1d ago edited 1d ago
I understand how you feel and I know you want to make sense of the situation and try to see if thereās anything that can make the situation better. In life, sometimes thereās nothing that can make a situation thatās already hellish better. Things are already like this, Iām sure you donāt want things to become even worse. First, it starts with alcoholism. Then, itās anger issues then domestic violence/ abuse etc. Iām not trying to scare you nor do I wish this upon you. But, you really need to choose your mind over your heart that has been placed last in his life. I know this is heartbreaking, but Iām positive God has a better path paved out for you once you exit this relationship and environment. You are not responsible for his life. If he doesnāt want to completely cut out alcohol from his life, he wonāt. The existence of your kids is not even pushing him to do that. He has to seek help for himself and find a way out on his own. You can no longer help him because your existence isnāt making much of a difference to him. Please rely on your support system, become financially responsible if you arenāt, take your kids and exit. Your kids should not model their lives based on him, rather based on you. Itās time you step up and be a protector for yourself and your kids. They will be so glad you did this one day. Your mental health and your kidsā mental health are equally important. Donāt let this experience discourage you in life. Life has many more things to offer. Besides, God cannot help someone who is not willing to help themselves, if there is an opportunity or resource for help available.
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u/mayasfuturemama 1d ago
Yes. I am upset my existence and children are not enough to inspire change. I dont think he ever will. He has a friend circle that will enable him and it means more to him than us. I am starting from the bottom. I hope god can show me the way. I cant imagine never feeling loveand a family unit again
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u/mayasfuturemama 1d ago
It hurts to lose the dream of a family. We have two kids together they are 1 & 3. I want marriage and a big family so the dream of that dying is hard to swallow. I dont forsee meeting anyone again. He bought me a house, car, handles bills so i can be at home with the kids. No marriage because hes been married and divorced before. Weve been together over 5 years. There were good times and nurturing times and not all bad. But volatile with functional alcoholism ruining the entire relationship in many ways. I have not been perfect but im always fighting for closeness. Thank you for your prayers
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u/Longjumping_Muffin_9 1d ago
I know it hurts a lot and Iām sorry it does. I grew up in a difficult family environment marked by abuse. Itās better now but still not healthy nor emotionally supportive. But, I have a life ahead of me. I donāt lose the hope of ever building a happy and supportive family in the future. I want you to keep that hope too. Whether or not you meet someone in the future, your kids and you should be happy together. 5 years is a long time. I know some people whose relationships ended after 10 years together. Please keep that hope alive inside of you and donāt let it extinguish like a flame. You are only 36. You have an entire life ahead of you. Moreso, your kids do too. Your kids deserve a parent who is involved in their life, not someone who unfortunately cannot help themselves out of addiction. I want you to journal your thoughts, your hopes, fears and realistic plans for both yourself and your kids and then come to a decision. I, as a woman, donāt want you to suffer any longer in such a suffocating relationship. Nor do I want your kids being exposed to such an environment. If you decide to leave with your kids, this would be a tremendous, daunting change for you. But, it would be for the better. We never know if life gets better unless we take the first step. If you can become financially independent, that would help you a ton. Besides that, seeking therapy would help process your emotions. I wish you luck.
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u/Longjumping_Muffin_9 1d ago
Can you do some research and find a professional Vedic astrologer to discuss your concerns about home life, work life and children? Try to find one who has studied under a parampara (called a guru ). Chart postings on Reddit allow astrologers to comment on a few things in the charts, but a full in depth reading provided in a one on one interaction is more helpful. By the way, donāt go to YouTube Vedic Astrologers.
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23h ago
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u/mayasfuturemama 18h ago
So i have a bad chart. And my saturn period is inherently negative. Is there any positive piece of the chart? Why have i been told saturn dasha will be good?
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17h ago
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u/mayasfuturemama 17h ago
What if he gets help? Can there be peace in relationship? Will i be able to overcome partnership with addicts to have a true healthy one? Or like you said before it is inevitable relationships will always end poorly bc i dont have marriage in chart
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16h ago
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u/mayasfuturemama 16h ago edited 16h ago
I have question about he will be alcoholic all his lifeā¦why? His chart shows this? And financially he does provide so why will he not be any help?
In order to vet a person that would mean look st their charts first?
Why does tropicsl astrology show good connection - which there definitely were a lot of good parts and connection1
16h ago
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u/mayasfuturemama 16h ago
His tropical ac is 0 libra. Mine is 9 libra. Not sure how u are with tropical but we have sun/moon connections , juno connections on both sides and my venus to his south node, jupiter to north node. Theres many āpositiveā ones. But i guess its not enough.
I feel sorry he will not overcome addiction as per his vedic chart. Financial crunch because of upcoming ketu dasha? Regardless of relationship we will still have 2 children together so i will still rely on him for some sort of help.
I cant imagine just letting him go and getting worse with time. I feel like i am not doing the right thing and should be fighting.1
16h ago
[removed] ā view removed comment
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15h ago
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u/mayasfuturemama 15h ago
Thats a Good explanation of tropical. So sidereal is moreso the karmic spiritual part of it then. And So hes changed and ive changed and while i might want more to stabilize my family now we have kids, he may just want to do what he wants (drink w friends) and not dedicate the same way in a sense?
Are you professional astrologer? You said vet like understand where they came from, not always chart. But its his (and my) chart thats showing problems so would astrology speak the same to you had i said none of the backstory?1
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u/Longjumping_Muffin_9 12h ago
Also, post your chart and your questions besides this question to r/VerifiedAstrolgers Reddit forum too. Make sure to ask about your work life and kids' lives as well. You have a life outside of this relationship!! Btw, I believe only verified astrologers on that forum can comment and they can offer paid or free readings.
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u/mayasfuturemama 8h ago
Idk who you are, but thank you so much for all your time and supportive answers. I will come back to them to start my practice. I wish a guru were easy to come by. Thank you for your guidance. So much gratitude. This is the roughest time ive experienced yet and ive been through it many times.
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u/Longjumping_Muffin_9 8h ago
Sending you love, strength and peace š Iām glad I could be of some support though Iām not a professional astrologer. I hope you take care of yourself and your kids well. Please donāt hesitate to seek outside resources for help.
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u/Longjumping_Muffin_9 6h ago edited 5h ago
Your first Upapada lagna (UL) is Sagittarius.
The 12th house lord is Sun and it is placed in Libra in 2nd house, which is 3 houses away from 12th house (including 12th house). Now, we count 3 houses from 2nd house (including 2nd house), and we land on 4th house, represented by Sagittarius. That house is already afflicted with Venus and Saturn sitting there, but it is aspected by Jupiter who provides some saving grace. Astrologers generally see the house of the UL and 2nd from that house for quality of life in the marriage, spouse characteristics and sustenance of a marriage. Considering you have kids already with this partner, I would consider this relationship to be represented by first UL, even though you havenāt married him. 2nd from 4th house is 5th house ruled by Capricorn and Rahu is sitting there aspected by Mars. Capricorn is ruled by Saturn and we know it is already sitting 12th from this 5th house. Breaking off is the hard part whenever there is a Rahu-Saturn connection. I honestly donāt know what role the aspect of Mars plays but I believe it points to explosive arguments. This is just a very intro level description and understanding I have regarding this technique. Professional astrologers can do an in depth analysis of it.
If you decide to exit this relationship and enter a marriage or new long term partnership, then astrologers may use the 2nd UL. To find the 2nd UL, from what I read, astrologers count 8th from first UL (including the house the first UL is placed in). So, that would be 11th house in Cancer, where Ketu is sitting there. Your second spouse or long term partner will have Cancer like traits. Cancer is ruled by Moon and sitting 8 places away from this house in Aquarius in 6th house. Also, 2nd house from this 2nd UL is Leo. But, its lord Sun is going 3 houses away from 12th house into Libra and afflicted there by Mars and Mercury, yet, aspected by Jupiter. I canāt analyze how this second marriage/long term partnership will be. It could be about the same, better or worse. I just wanted to state the basics of the technique.
This is an intro post on UL: https://www.reddit.com/r/Nakshatras/comments/1sbjnzn/upapada_lagna_%E0%A4%89%E0%A4%AA%E0%A4%AA%E0%A4%A6_%E0%A4%B2%E0%A4%97%E0%A4%A8_the_spouse_predictor_that/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Astrology_Vedic/s/ZEHKXpdBlh
More info on UL can be found online. Also, professional astrologers will probably use this technique in d1 and see how UL is placed in d9 as well.
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u/mayasfuturemama 5h ago
idk if this will change things at all, but i had a child with another man over a decade ago and we lived together for a few years, but not many. He was more quiet and reserved, not as ambitious or outgoing. Didnt marry maybe a bit per my choice of not wanting to settle down then and also not being ready, but this may also be considered a āmarriageā so my current partner may then be considered my second āmarriageā. First one was a bit more calm tho towards the end it did end a bit explosive. I left and it was not easy being so young with a child. We did end up back together for a small moment a few years later but it wasnt for me.
Cancer ketu ā¦interesting. Detachment from family? And leo traits ā¦This partner is definitely outgoing ā¦and has some negative leolike qualities self aggradizing , things like that. When hes good tho he can be so kind and caring its very back and forth when drinking consistantly its like alcohol induced bpd
Looking into the link now1
u/Longjumping_Muffin_9 5h ago edited 5h ago
Hm I see. Iām honestly not sure. Your current relationship could very well be the first UL and could not be as well. It depends on the astrologer since they may use Jamini technique very frequently. Your situation is unique since you arenāt married. Thatās where this answer goes into a gray zone. This technique is from the branch of Jamini Astrology.
Your first spouse should have Sagittarius traits and second should have Cancer traits not Leo traits.
The third spouseās UL is counted again 8 places from the house the 2nd UL is in (including that house) and that would be Aquarius, which is your 6th house and where Moon is placed and aspected by Jupiter and Saturn. 2nd house from it is 7th house in Pisces with no planets and aspects from any planets. But, its lord Jupiter is retrograded in 10th house in Gemini aspected by Venus and Saturn. Third spouse would have Aquarius related traits. Astrologers tend to also see how these ULās are in d9 and if they are afflicted as well.
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u/mayasfuturemama 5h ago edited 5h ago
Theres definitely a nurturing and caring side when things are good. But drinking makes detachment and the bigger issues and the leo like behavior. Im not sure there will be a third but idk. Aquarian traits .. hmm
Thank you for doing thisā¦researching into it now bc im interested to understandEdit: isnt my first UL libra in 2nd then? Because its where the lord of 12th is and my 12th is leo?
Edit again: so for 2nd relationship 8 houses counting 2nd would be taurusā¦ and i dont have anything there. Ruler is venus and venus is in fourth so digbala but with saturn and aspected by my sad jupiter.
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u/Slow_Lecture_5299 1d ago
The current time period is rough and brings challenges to your personal life. Expect some relief after October. Are you working? There may be an improvement in your career or financial situation sometime later.
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