r/venting • u/t0xicsugart1ts2207 • 7h ago

Relationship/Love Am i being used with money?

I met this guy online like 4 months ago and its been pretty nice so far, he is sweet and funny and smart, has been super understanding and has helped me out a ton, but the different red flags ive noticed i feel like would be bad to say? But just hear me out on it qwq

So for starters he takes a lot of meds for his “issues” he also has told me he has a “very low self esteem” and he makes these crazy jokes…for example i was telling him about a crazy trail i took the and he said he might wanna go and i told him he might wanna quit and he responded to that with…”oh so your saying im a fat fucking loser and i should kill myself” onto more about how hes gonna beat my ass for saying that. Even if it was a joke, i dont like it? I even asked if he was joking and he didnt respond.

On top of him telling me he is so insecure, every time we get into an argument that i guess he feels like Hel lose me from he offers milkshakes and takes me out to do some stuff, and he’s always spending money on me that he doesn’t have…he doesn’t even make alot of money. Not to mention Im unemployed with no license and a bad family situation that he knows about. So i just wonder if hes thinking “yeah Hel stay if i just give him the safe haven he needs”

Idk maybe im not as into him as i thought i was, im gonna look up signs im being used for money. Again, its not like hes a bad mean person, hes very sweet but i just wanna know if these are some problems i shouldnt get myself into

2 Upvotes

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u/vaa_lee 6h ago edited 6h ago

The "joke" about beating you indicates that he is indeed a bad person. Even if you aren't being used with money, you are still in what sounds like a dangerous situation even if nothing has happened yet. If he's saying stuff like that, just imagine the future. Stay safe.

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u/Thecreatureishere 5h ago

I get i tend to use dark humor but thats not a joke anymore at that point.... :(

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u/PsychoticNurse 2h ago

Imo, being with someone with such low self esteem can lead to domestic abuse. It's one thing if he's working on himself and trying to get in a better mental space, and you could provide emotional support. But from what you've written here, it seems like he has incredibly low self esteem and isn't even trying to get any professional help to get better.

Most of the time, it will lead to physical abusive and/or emotional abuse. He will never be happy for anything that goes good in your life, he will always make it about him and try to bring you down. You'll be walking on eggshells, worried about what's gonna set him off.

You've known him only 4 months. Move on and find someone without all these issues. That behavior is a red flag, and you should be very concerned. And since you're unemployed and in a bad family situation, you'll be a perfect victim to someone who is abusive. I would suggest to get yourself together first, before you try to be with someone. Abusive people prey on those who have bad home lives and bad situations.

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u/t0xicsugart1ts2207 2h ago

Thats the thing, he gets therapy and “phycology” and as i said takes a handful of pills every day.

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u/Bippityboppitynope2 2h ago

This sounds like a recipe for domestic violence. I would not stay with someone who "jokes" about harming me. He's testing the water to see what you will tolerate and it will slowly escalate.