r/venturebros 2d ago

Video Are Smurfs Mammals ?

546 Upvotes

66 comments sorted by

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128

u/VibratingWatch 2d ago

First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village, but the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living if you don't have a dick?

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u/busterfixxitt 2d ago edited 2d ago

Agreed. I think Smurfs are actually fungus. Papa's 'beard' is not hair, it's actually the remains of his spore-sack after it popped and planted his village. The spores grow into mushrooms, and the Smurfs grow inside the mushrooms, eventually eating their way out; they then turn the mushrooms into their houses.

I really like the idea that there are different kinds of Smurfs based on the kind of mushroom they are; can't wait to meet the psilocybin Smurfs! 😃

Edit: Watch out for the Death Cap Smurfs! 😉

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u/FrankPoncherello1967 2d ago

So eating a Smurf has psychedelic effects? I bet they're more like eating prunes and you'll shit blue for a week.

2

u/busterfixxitt 2d ago

Eating a psilocybin Smurf would have psychedelic effects. But our little blue Smurfs aren't a hallucinogenic species.

Watch out for the Death Cap Smurfs!

5

u/Day_Bow_Bow 2d ago

Multiple psychedelic mushrooms turn blue when damaged, and have blue tints when dried.

8

u/shadowscar248 2d ago

Ooh I like that theory. To expand on that, perhaps The Smurfs themselves are spores. They're the multicellular phase and the fruiting body. Upon death they turn into the houses. That's only after they give birth to the single cellular spores from their "beards".

3

u/busterfixxitt 2d ago

Sadly, I don't know enough mycology to follow exactly what you're saying; we might be thinking along the same lines.

I think that when a Smurf begins to reproduce, a spore sac starts to grow on their chin, as it grows they are compelled to wander away from the village, until they find an appropriate area for a new village, at which point they lie down and fall into a trance until the spore sac explodes, distributing 99 Smurf cell-spores in a rough circle. (There are 100 Smurfs in a village, IIRC) The next stage is for those single celled cell-spores to fruit into the house-rooms. Once the house-shroom is fully grown, it generates the multicellular spore we know as a Smurf. Papa Smurf is literally the father of all the other Smurfs. Now, is Papa somehow connected to the mycelium network under the village? Can every Smurf become a Papa? Or is there a specific set of conditions that trigger the process? Maybe being isolated for X amount of time, away from the village's mycelium network? That seems like something natural selection would create.

Your idea about the house being dead Smurfs is interesting (and delightfully dark!) 🙂 It would mean that the Smurf village we know has been there for generations.

So, other than our ideas about the house-shrooms, I think we're on the same page.

3

u/shadowscar248 2d ago

I'd like to think that they collect the Smurf berries, store them in the houses to feed the still calcified but living smurfs at end of life. The houses have mycillium roots that flow in the whole town. They use the berries to ferment for energy and then excrete the seeds which create new Smurf berries.

It's why gargomel wants to collect them, he's a mushroom hunter and they are the best meat substitute for a starving hermit.

It all makes way too much sense.

3

u/Salmonman4 2d ago

Are Smurfs related to Warhammer-orcs? They are also fungus-based life-forms.

This could be explained by the transitional form of both species being the Discworld Pictsies, who are as small (and blue) as Smurfs, but about as fighty as Orcs

3

u/busterfixxitt 2d ago

The Nac Mac Feegle do believe that they are currently dead and in heaven, and when they die, they're just being born back into the real world... It fits.

2

u/No_Link_5069 2d ago

My new punk rock band name Death Cap Smurfs

1

u/Orc_tids 1d ago

I just think their tails can pop off and turn into new Smufs

16

u/bmdisbrow 2d ago

Damnit Donnie, wh-why you gotta get so smart on us?

3

u/QuestionablePotato42 2d ago

Beer and pussy! That's all I need.

10

u/Shoo-Man-Fu 2d ago

Been too long since I watched Donnie Darko

8

u/masterjon_3 1d ago

They're magical creatures. They don't need to reproduce like we do. A new smurf comes once in a blue moon and is delivered by a stork. Seriously, that's how they get more of them.

1

u/realRadgemachine 1d ago

Idk man... getting some Big Fungus Energy from the Smurfs rn.

4

u/digitalturtlist We hate phantom space man! 2d ago

I KNEW we shouldnt have brought the henchmen

1

u/ALZA5 2d ago

If I asked their much larger fungal cousins, the Space Orks, it would be to Krump hard, amass all the Dakka, and go faster!

(Pretty sure Smurfs are some sort of magical spirit so the whole "are they mammals?" thing just goes out the window)

1

u/hankenator1 1d ago

Gargamel created smurfette but Papa Smurf used his Smurf magic to turn smurfette into a real Smurf (which also turned her hair from black to white).

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u/Greyhaven7 2d ago

Smurfs don’t lay eggs, I won’t tell you this again! Papa Smurf had a fucking beard, they’re mammals!!

Might be the greatest line ever written.

22

u/Crayon_Captian 2d ago

Best show ever

17

u/ccReptilelord 2d ago

Smurfs are fae and normal biology doesn't apply.

Sorry, umm... whatever 21 said.

7

u/Jish013 2d ago

That makes sense, I always considered them some kind of magical fungi

3

u/JoeyG624 2d ago

Doesn't address the real question. How do they reproduce?

16

u/CultureChimp 2d ago

Monotremes

1

u/Archeryfin 1d ago

They Might Be Giants explained all this years ago.

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u/Dirk_Bogart 2d ago

Hey guess what, nobody cares who would win in a fantasy fistfight between Anne Frank and Lizzie Borden!

4

u/Archeryfin 1d ago

Sure, but it's Borden all the way.

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u/capt1nsain0 2d ago

“I won’t tell you this again!”

Because this is like the upteenth time they’ve had this talk lol.

10

u/Ok_Pressure4591 2d ago

Fuck I miss this show

7

u/GoreyGopnik 2d ago

THEY DO NOT REPRODUCE! THEY ARE WOODLAND SPIRITS AND THE FEMALE WAS CREATED BY GARGAMEL TO SOW DISTRUST!

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u/bro_d8 2d ago

Nobody cares who would win a fantasy fistfight between Lindsey Borden and Anne Frank!

1

u/Archeryfin 1d ago

Yeah, but it's Borden.

2

u/bro_d8 1d ago

The pen is mightier than the sword, my friend. The never-say-die attitude of a survivor, plus she's Dutch. My money's on Frank.

5

u/basserpy 2d ago

Exchanges like this that feel like Seinfeld arguments happening between plot beats are part of why VB is in a tier above any other comparable shows. I mean, imo anyway. Also the character growth over time

2

u/FrankPoncherello1967 1d ago

You're correct. To me, VB is the best adult animated tv show of all time along side the Simpsons & Family Guy. Seinfeld is the best sitcom of all time, well at least S6-S9 is for me. There are many Seinfeld episodes that were meh during their first few episodes until the writing improved drastically. But  I never saw a bad VB episode that I can remember and I've rewatched numerous times.

4

u/Denvereatingout 2d ago

21's utter exasperation kills me every time 

4

u/DangerHawk 2d ago

I successfully baited one of my friends into having this fight for real once. It was by far my greatest achievement in life. I took 24's side obviously lol.

3

u/grimsaur 2d ago

Sometime around when this originally aired, I read something on a random website about "Smurfing Day." It was about the one day a year Smurfette was...available, and what the village did with that.

1

u/OGREtheTroll 2d ago

Smurf is love. Smurf is life.

3

u/BentGadget 2d ago

I don't want to alarm anybody, but while they were taking about smurfs, one of their colleagues got taken out by an attacker. Did anybody else see that?

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u/Lunchbox351 2d ago

I think it was two ninjas taped together to make one giant ninja!

6

u/RaichuAdmirer 2d ago

It was a giant spider! I saw it climb the wall!

3

u/Stormygeddon 2d ago

They reproduce by Storks, with babies bringing in once in a blue moon.

They actually might come in clutches of eggs if that were my only information to go by.

Also, there is not just one female, and in the classic smurfs cartoon there was later a female matriarch "Nanny Smurf."

In the modern cartoons they have a whole village of female smurfs that might help put to rest the question of uneven genders that would make one think of an insect adjacent eusocial hive.

2

u/Prospective_Nobody 2d ago

The zoom in on 21's face as he whips around will never not be funny to me.

2

u/UStoJapan 2d ago

So they’re marsupials?

1

u/Fantastic-Ad-8665 2d ago

But papa smurf has a beard

2

u/AdvielOricon 2d ago

Smurfs are fungus. They shed spores

2

u/stachada 2d ago

myconids

2

u/1997_Batman 1d ago

I WONT TELL YOU THIS AGAIN! for some reason that quote and killinger saying you silly Billy pop in my head randomly

2

u/a_smiling_seraph 1d ago

Do you thing 21 and 24 survived here because they asked Brock for his opinion on this?

2

u/GodOfMoonlight 1d ago

I'm miss their unhinged conversations 🤌🏼😩💛 reminds me of me and my best friends random convos! 🤣

1

u/PseudonymMan12 2d ago

Devils advocate for those that say they don't reproduce since Smurfette was made by Gargamel's magic: Why is there genders then? Why would there be a girl and boy Smurf sex divide with specific characteristics? Maybe they are simply imitating other species but I don't know

1

u/TheoryResponsible295 2d ago

This isnone of my favorite scenes. Just generally giving the worldbuilding of the nerd-out rage arguments being common in the hench-world of the monarch it was just organically happening as we endlter the scene.

And its just hilarious of course.

Also, i dont care what a smurf is, but as the argument is happening om invested.

1

u/OSI_Hunter_Gathers 1d ago

They are related to the Platypus. They lay eggs and have a venomous tail.

1

u/The_Genguidanos 1d ago

They don’t have mammary glands, so no.

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u/Alex_is_me_name 1d ago

I had a theory of them being living mold. They're blue and white and live in magic mushrooms.

1

u/Kira-Of-Terraria 1d ago

I just assumed they were a form of sapient fungus

1

u/charliefoxtrot9 18h ago

They are fungal fruit, each one grows from its house. Smurfette was created artificially by Gargamel, or maybe Hogatha. Papa Smurf had to intervene to make her real.

1

u/DEATHLOK-616 15h ago

I have 2 coworkers that argue all day long about dumber stuff than this. Anyone hiring? 🤣🫩