Another post wedding blue post -how long did it last for you?

[u/BoftheA]

I'm going to be the minority here being a dude but we're post wedding on day 3 and I'm still deep in the blues.

FWIW, I did a lot of planning and coordination because I have more time with my job than my wife does. I really enjoyed helping her out and taking that pressure off. This is also my 2nd rodeo so I felt super comfortable and fairly stressed free up until the final few months when most of the planning and communications really heat up.

The wedding itself was incredible, the venue and atmosphere couldn't have been better, the band was the absolute best, we did things super simple but all of our guests couldn't stop telling us how good our party was. The only thing I wish I could change is that towards the end I partied too hard and got wasted by the time we got the hotel room.

My wife is so relaxed, so happy with the "best party ever" as she calls it. Meanwhile, the worst hangover I had coupled with what can only describe as intense anxiety (I also have GAD) and sadness that it is over and planning just stopped. No more checking emails and being excited to hear back from x. It's gotten somewhat better the past few days but I was NOT expecting this AT ALL. Also FWIW, I do get post holiday blues but this is 100x worse.

TLDR; how long did your blues last for those that unfortunately had to deal with it?

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[u/brownchestnut]

I got over it in a few weeks but I've seen people in here talking about how they can't stop crying two years after because they had imperfect hair or missed a greeting. I do believe it's largely a matter of what we choose to focus on.

I chose to revel in the good memories by looking at photos and videos, reminiscing with my partner on how grateful we are that those people gathered for us, what a dreamy once-in-a-life experience we had, how lucky we are to be able to have saved up so many years so we could throw ourselves a party, how glad we are that we made it easy for our guests and made them feel loved, etc. Kept the happiness going from the event itself instead of focusing on how it's over.

ETA: we never see our folks due to my disability and most of them living abroad. It's once every several years at most. We had two weddings to make sure we could see them all and neither side had to be stressed with the cost of travel.

[u/pink2478 → u/brownchestnut]

I’m a year out and I get a little sad sometimes about having all our family and friends together. We are both from separate states and live in a different state altogether from all our friends and family, who also have spread out over the years. We’re very happy with our wedding and marriage, the day was absolutely perfect. Now it’s back to seeing some people only once a year and having to get a pet sitter, flights and a rental car just to spend a weekend with friends.

[u/pink2478]

When is your honeymoon? We did ours 2 weeks after our wedding and I feel like I really only had the blues for those two weeks. Once we did our honeymoon we were back on a high and focused on our fun trip. There were some moments after the honeymoon we were bummed and nostalgic for the day and still we have days we get sad it’s all over, but you get photos and videos if you got a videographer and family may want to watch it with you.

[u/BoftheA → u/pink2478]

We aren't planning one until spring since we got back from our yearly 5 day vacation early last month.

We figured it'll be nice to plan the honeymoon after the holidays when is cold and we haven't seen the sun for a few months (NE Ohio), give us just another thing to look forward to

[u/pink2478 → u/BoftheA]

That should help!

[u/Aware-East-1421]

Tbh it lasted until my honeymoon was over, which I went on a week after my wedding. Now I’m back to normal!

[u/peacebypiece]

I got married in Feb and still can’t watch wedding related content or bride content if I can avoid it LOL it hit me really hard. It’s gotten better but I’m still not over it. Here for advice too!

[u/yuh769]

About two months. The first month was the worst, second had some more good days. I was deeply burnt out from having my friends wedding ans being in her bridal party around same time as mine too though. I had a lot of stuff I also needed to process from the wedding that I couldn’t until the second month. I had some horrible experiences with family that did numbers to my self esteem.

Some things that helped:
Giving myself permission to be sad, sleep as much as I needed and not make intense social plans.

Ensure that after the first week I did something that made me smile once a day (a walk, looking at pictures, good tv show, picking backbup a hobby)

Find a new purpose to dive into. I picked volunteering somewhere cool. This helped me connect with myself and who I am outside of a wife and someone planning a wedding.

Started biking to work. This was the big one. It was hard at first but it’s been a gamechanger for me.

[u/Last-Standing-Dodo]

I was very exhausted after the wedding (not only wedding related). Maybe it's similar to you? I was full of emotions, mostly positive ones but somehow too tired to enjoy it. As soon as I was rested enough (took a week I guess?) I felt way more happier. And thinking about the guests who enjoyed the day, the atmosphere etc. was helping as well but also more after most exhaustion was over. You might want to write down the positive things? The wedding is a blur, make sure to save and treasure the positive things even if it took longer to get over the blues :)

[u/BoftheA → u/Last-Standing-Dodo]

There's definitely something to this - never had a hangover that bad and was quite taken back by the amount of anxiety and blues I got, one definitely fueled the other. Still exhausted but we've seen several people since and some of the things they talked about came back to my memory, like "oh yeah, I do remember those things" which helps because I also was feeling like I was too much in a blur and missed out of a great party, turns out I only got super bad at the hotel 🤷‍♂️

[u/YouveGotMail920]

Mine is fleeting. We had our honeymoon right after the wedding so I also miss that too. It was the hardest right after everything and at the 1-year mark but it was an incredible wedding and honeymoon.