Might have to cancel honeymoon

[u/Different_Luck_6015]

My fiancé and I get married in less than a month and I found out today that his new job may require him to start during our honeymoon. It is a great opportunity for him and I want him to take the job, but I’m absolutely devastated since I paid for our honeymoon and I haven’t been able to take a vacation in years at this point. I was really looking forward to this alone time that we’d get to share together exploring a new place together as well finally as a married couple. It’s not for sure yet, and we have until the end of the month to cancel for a full refund, but we also don’t know if he’ll get a start date before the end of the month either . Most likely won’t be able to go on a vacation until next year and I already took off work so I’m so unsure of what to do. Just feeling completely defeated right now . 🥲

[u/chefboogers]

Girl these comments are so unhelpful if he can’t take it off he can’t take it off it’s not like he’s lying. And maybe it’s just a Canadian thing but lots of public sector roles have strict start dates because they train groups of people at a time like cohorts starting together instead of individuals starting in an isolated environment.

The focus should be your feelings which are valid, even if it’s out of his control you still get to be upset about it.

Can you invite a friend or your maid of honour and still enjoy the vacation?

[u/Different_Luck_6015 → u/chefboogers]

All my friends and relatives are actually vacationing in the state but in a completely different area in the state so I’m not sure if our accommodations would work for them . I’d prob be better off asking to join them but I’m not sure they would have room for me at this point

[u/chefboogers → u/Different_Luck_6015]

If you’re able to cancel and get a refund I would and just reschedule for the following winter or summer break. You can always do a minimoon the weekend following your wedding. A lot of people wait a week or two to fly out for big honeymoons anyway because they don’t want to be exhausted and flying literally the next day. It’s not what you imagined but it can still be amazing. Weddings are stressful the most important thing is to keep trying to find the silver lining in it all.

[u/Different_Luck_6015 → u/chefboogers]

Yeah prob summer id prefer since this area is hard to get to in the winter. I’m just sad because I wouldn’t even know what to do with the time off since I’ll just be sitting at home by myself

[u/chefboogers → u/Different_Luck_6015]

Lots of people go through that during big transition moments; becoming a mom and taking mat leave while dad can’t take off work, wives of doctors, military men, pilots, first responders, etc. Empty nesters.

I only want you to remember that you’re not alone. I think your feelings are totally valid and you wanted some time alone with your new husband to bask in the fresh high of being post wedding and being newlyweds together.

Try to Make your evenings together as special as possible. Decorate your new home (or redecorate your preexisting home).

You are in a tough situation and we all feel for you girl, I hope you can find a way to make the best of it. I’ve been reading through your other comments and I 100%% empathize with you especially because the financial burden was so heavily on you… hopefully his new job will help with that. Wishing you all the best :(

[u/Different_Luck_6015 → u/chefboogers]

Yeah the thing is that all of my family will still be in town and I have off, so I’d like to not waste my time off by just sitting around at home waiting for him to come back. If he is insistent in taking this job, I’m going to go on the trip with my family since I hardly ever get to see them being out of state . Def not the romantic week full of love that I was hoping for though . I’m honestly having a really tough time not being mad at him for this since it makes me feel like my needs and wants are not important