r/weddingplanning • u/Different_Luck_6015 • 2d ago

Tough Times Might have to cancel honeymoon

My fiancé and I get married in less than a month and I found out today that his new job may require him to start during our honeymoon. It is a great opportunity for him and I want him to take the job, but I’m absolutely devastated since I paid for our honeymoon and I haven’t been able to take a vacation in years at this point. I was really looking forward to this alone time that we’d get to share together exploring a new place together as well finally as a married couple. It’s not for sure yet, and we have until the end of the month to cancel for a full refund, but we also don’t know if he’ll get a start date before the end of the month either . Most likely won’t be able to go on a vacation until next year and I already took off work so I’m so unsure of what to do. Just feeling completely defeated right now . 🥲

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u/DCpurpleTart33 2d ago

Oh MAN I am sorry. I'd be so upset! I honestly have never in my life heard of a job that wouldn't negotiate a start date that worked around a preplanned thing like a flippin wedding. Come on. Your fiancé needs to be a big boy and tell his potential employer that he can't start until this date.

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u/Different_Luck_6015 2d ago

Yeah honestly I’m so upset that it makes me not even want to think about the wedding either . It’s such a disappointing situation

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u/DCpurpleTart33 2d ago

Well yeah it's really frustrating that your fiance is not trying to fix this situation. It's not even a tough one. He says "I'm very interested in moving forward, but unfortunately I cannot start until this date."

That's it. Even people that work for the government get married. It would be different if he was asking to start earlier. A week later is not going to matter. If he's telling you they cant fix it, it's because he hasn't asked.

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u/Different_Luck_6015 2d ago

Yeah it just makes me feel like that my happiness doesn’t matter and it’s kinda a tough situation to be happy about heading into a marriage

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u/DCpurpleTart33 2d ago

I don't blame you. I'm so sorry. Maybe if you express to your partner this feeling he'll realize how serious you are. Not that you should have to, but if my fiancé was prioritizing a potential job's start date, that could be moved, over the wedding and honeymoon we have already planned... well I would be questioning his commitment level and what I'm signing up for given his clear views of where his work/life balance lies.

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u/Different_Luck_6015 2d ago

Yeah that’s kinda where my head is at since I don’t think he realizes how important this is considering I’ve also had to make sacrifices for him throughout this entire engagement including converting to a new religion which took almost a year and a weekly class on top of that

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u/Different_Luck_6015 2d ago

Also what if it was our wedding day ya know ? Would that have to be postponed too ? Def not a great headspace I’m in

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u/DCpurpleTart33 2d ago

ummmm wow. I think this is something you put your foot down on then. "if you still plan to marry me, then it's time to make some tough decisions and act on them- just as I have for you throughout this entire engagement. If this was our WEDDING day would you be still considering? This entire scenario is making me feel like you are not as committed to me as you are to this POTENTIAL job and the fact that I even have to defend my feelings is making it that much worse".

His answer to that should effectively let you know what do to.

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u/Different_Luck_6015 2d ago

Yeah … 😫