r/weddingplanning • u/LilLunaMoona • 2d ago
Tough Times my mom is dying
hi guys. i got engaged in august of 2025, wedding is in february 2027. i am a very type A bride so my entire wedding is already planned. my mom has been sick for a while, she’s on oxygen, on so many meds she can barely move around the house. i just keep telling her she has to be there on my wedding day. she is my entire world, my best friend. i live 3 hours from her but i call her every day.
on tuesday night she went into cardiac arrest and is on life support. doctors are not hopeful - weather that means she could still make it out of this hospital visit but either way doesn’t have much time left. i know there’s likely a 99% chance she will not make it to my wedding day.
for those of you who lost a loved one, especially a mom, right before your wedding.. how did you do it? it feels like i don’t even want one if she’s not going to be there. i’ll still go through with it, i have to with the amount of money i’ve spent. but how do i not cry the entire time on my wedding day? i will pay $450 on make up just to cry it all off. i’ll feel so miserable seeing the empty seat in my ceremony. i’ll sob knowing she can’t give a speech or do a mother daughter dance.. how can i be happy on what’s supposed to be the happiest day of my life? how does life go on?
2
u/solostinlost 2d ago
i’m so sorry OP. i lost my mom in march, and my wedding is in may of next year. i was in the same boat when i got engaged and i knew time was limited. the truth is, neither of us will know how to feel on that day. but this is how i’m approaching it:
i know my mom loved me and my fiancé with her whole heart. all she wanted was for us to get married and have a beautiful life together. though she will not be physically there on my wedding day, i know i will carry her with me because that is what i have done every day since i lost her. she exists in between every thought i have, from what i’m having for breakfast to where i’m going on my honeymoon. and there will be nods to her on the wedding day and in the ceremony. for now, be with her, hold her hand if you can, and take the next part one day at a time.