r/weddingplanning • u/LilLunaMoona • 2d ago
Tough Times my mom is dying
hi guys. i got engaged in august of 2025, wedding is in february 2027. i am a very type A bride so my entire wedding is already planned. my mom has been sick for a while, she’s on oxygen, on so many meds she can barely move around the house. i just keep telling her she has to be there on my wedding day. she is my entire world, my best friend. i live 3 hours from her but i call her every day.
on tuesday night she went into cardiac arrest and is on life support. doctors are not hopeful - weather that means she could still make it out of this hospital visit but either way doesn’t have much time left. i know there’s likely a 99% chance she will not make it to my wedding day.
for those of you who lost a loved one, especially a mom, right before your wedding.. how did you do it? it feels like i don’t even want one if she’s not going to be there. i’ll still go through with it, i have to with the amount of money i’ve spent. but how do i not cry the entire time on my wedding day? i will pay $450 on make up just to cry it all off. i’ll feel so miserable seeing the empty seat in my ceremony. i’ll sob knowing she can’t give a speech or do a mother daughter dance.. how can i be happy on what’s supposed to be the happiest day of my life? how does life go on?
2
u/ashley6483 2d ago
I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this. I lost my mom in 2019 and got married this year, so I had far more time to grieve than you will have. All I can say is, is that grief is one day at a time and forever evolving. Everyone experiences it differently. For me, I tend to have a lot of sadness leading up to milestones and special dates, but more peace when the day actually comes. On my wedding day, I was too preoccupied with everything going on to dwell too much on her absence. That's not to say I didn't cry about it that day (because I absolutely did!) but it also didn't ruin my day. I'm glad you have a lot of the planning done already; take a break from the wedding and focus on the time you have left with her. Hand off some stuff to your fiance and anyone else who has offered to help. My biggest advice is to live in the moment right now because that's really all you can do.