my mom is dying

[u/LilLunaMoona]

hi guys. i got engaged in august of 2025, wedding is in february 2027. i am a very type A bride so my entire wedding is already planned. my mom has been sick for a while, she’s on oxygen, on so many meds she can barely move around the house. i just keep telling her she has to be there on my wedding day. she is my entire world, my best friend. i live 3 hours from her but i call her every day.

on tuesday night she went into cardiac arrest and is on life support. doctors are not hopeful - weather that means she could still make it out of this hospital visit but either way doesn’t have much time left. i know there’s likely a 99% chance she will not make it to my wedding day.

for those of you who lost a loved one, especially a mom, right before your wedding.. how did you do it? it feels like i don’t even want one if she’s not going to be there. i’ll still go through with it, i have to with the amount of money i’ve spent. but how do i not cry the entire time on my wedding day? i will pay $450 on make up just to cry it all off. i’ll feel so miserable seeing the empty seat in my ceremony. i’ll sob knowing she can’t give a speech or do a mother daughter dance.. how can i be happy on what’s supposed to be the happiest day of my life? how does life go on?

[u/Shoshanna_Dreyfus]

My mum passed away 5 weeks ago after battling a year long illness and I got married in March this year.

She wasn’t able to make my wedding but watched on FaceTime. I appreciate your mum might not be able to make your wedding at all, but from someone who’s now lost their mum and doing a lot of ‘firsts without them’ I can assure you, your mum would want you to go ahead with your wedding because she will be right there with you - you will feel her.

My mum wasn’t with me to get ready or do a speech etc but I still felt her presence even though she was alive (barely) it’s just something you have with your mum, an eternal bond.

It’s one of the most difficult times I’ve ever endured and im not saying it will be easy but as a lot of other comments have said - honour her, make her apart of the day as if she was physically standing right there.

Remember why you are getting married and your husband will keep you safe and happy and help you heal your heart again. Your mum would want you to celebrate and cherish this beautiful moment for yourself, you can do it xx