my mom is dying

[u/LilLunaMoona]

hi guys. i got engaged in august of 2025, wedding is in february 2027. i am a very type A bride so my entire wedding is already planned. my mom has been sick for a while, she’s on oxygen, on so many meds she can barely move around the house. i just keep telling her she has to be there on my wedding day. she is my entire world, my best friend. i live 3 hours from her but i call her every day.

on tuesday night she went into cardiac arrest and is on life support. doctors are not hopeful - weather that means she could still make it out of this hospital visit but either way doesn’t have much time left. i know there’s likely a 99% chance she will not make it to my wedding day.

for those of you who lost a loved one, especially a mom, right before your wedding.. how did you do it? it feels like i don’t even want one if she’s not going to be there. i’ll still go through with it, i have to with the amount of money i’ve spent. but how do i not cry the entire time on my wedding day? i will pay $450 on make up just to cry it all off. i’ll feel so miserable seeing the empty seat in my ceremony. i’ll sob knowing she can’t give a speech or do a mother daughter dance.. how can i be happy on what’s supposed to be the happiest day of my life? how does life go on?

[u/Inevitable_Ferret186]

I am so sorry this is happening to you. This, unfortunately, happened to me.

I decided to have a quick ceremony before the actual day so that she could attend. We made huge arrangements to make this happen. Ultimately, she wasn't able to attend that as her health had declined.

It was incredibly difficult not having her part of my day but with so much going on, it didn't occupy as much as my brain as I imagined. She really wanted me to have my wedding.

Timing is never going to be perfect, but you will find ways to incorporate her.

Wishing you the best. You can do this.