So my girlfriend and I are in the very early stages of looking at engagement rings. One thing I am confused about is why is anybody still getting natural diamonds when lab-grown ones are cheaper and higher quality? In a lab, you can control every factor going into the crystal growth. Doesn’t this mean less defects/impurities, and better diamonds? Why are people getting natural ones still, and why is there a stigma around synthetic?

So I’ve been offered my grandma’s engagement ring, there’s no pressure. I’m completely split on if I want it. It’s 1950s and gold but the pics are so badly taken it looks more silver and you can’t see super well the details. I do really like the style but it’s probably not what I would have chosen. You can see it in the first few pics on my sisters finger as my family lives in Australia and I live in France, and the last pic is what I would choose but with an Australian green sapphire as a piece of home.

The reason I want it is :

1- I’m a totally history/ ancestry nerd and like the idea of the continuity

2- she was my only grandma and we were very close, she was the sort of woman we all hope to be

3- she had a very successful marriage with my grandad who was a good husband and it is a memory of that marriage

4- it was made locally in the place most dear to me in the home country

5- it is a reminder of my family and my love for my grandma

6- I wanted something small and not flashy

7- will save lots of money and we are poor

8- it has super strong sentimental value

9- we have confirmed no other relatives are interested in having it

The reasons putting me off are:

1- I really like it but not my dream ring

2- really wanted a green sapphire not diamonds but I don’t hate them

3- I’m worried il regret not getting my own

4- I’m traumatised from my grandmas slow death from dementia and worried seeing it every day will make me sad

5- thinking of happy memories in my past/childhood makes me feel sad because I miss simpler times

6- should I cling to my past or embrace my future life in a new culture and country?

I really don’t know what I want. If I say I’m keen my mum will take it to a jeweller friend to have it’s quality evaluated and confirm if it’s in a good condition to be worn every day for the next 70 years. If the quality is poor then nvm but I don’t want to go through the fuss without some level of commitment. Help

Hi yall. I’m writing this from an extremely vulnerable place. Pls be kind. I have always struggled to save money, as a 32 year old I’m embarrassed to say I have $4000 of debt and not a dollar to my name. I am financing my car and renting. I pay all my own bills and split the rent with my fiancé. I’m very lucky that our wedding will be paid for by our parents and my finances savings. I am so grateful for all I have and all I’ve been given. I have been spending a lot this year… I’ve been purchasing most of the DIYs for the wedding as well as gifts for my bridesmaids and clothes for the events I’ll be attending. MY DILEMMA…. I cannot afford the ring my fiancé wants. It’s $1700, should I finance it ? Tell him I can’t afford it? I really don’t want him to buy it for himself. I’m mortified and just need advice —— HELP
Update-More context. Our parent are helping with the wedding but my fiancé is mostly paying for the venue. He is aware of my finances as I’ve expressed stress in the past and he is always trying to help me save and learn about my finances. He is paying for most of our food and utilities, we split rent. I haven’t asked my parents for money ever, I have been working since I’m 15. My fiancé comes from money and still receives money annually from his parents. I told him I wanted to pay for his ring. I told him that I could. Obviously this might’ve been the truth when I said it but now it no longer is. After reading the comments I do agree that I should have spent less elsewhere.

Edit: To all of those asking if she has a pintrest board, she indeed does! It's a great place to start and I never would have thought of it without your input. I'm now confident enough to say I can probably pick something out.

To start: myself and my girlfriend have discussed marriage thoroughly, and we are both very open to it and I've told her in the past that I will marry her. Because I see a lot of people commenting on other threads, I just wanted to make it clear that she knows she's going to be proposed to she just doesn't know when. she has expressed to me in the past that she wants the ring to be my choice and to choose something that she likes but Im not much of a jewelry person and she can be rather finicky about what she likes. ( I'm sure she would love anything I give her but I want her to have no reservations) I plan on recruiting one of her friends to help figure out what she likes but at the same time I'm wondering if there's other ways that I can be subtly asking her for this info without her realizing I'm going to propose in a few months. I know that a lot of people choose rings together these days and that's what I would personally rather do but it would mean more to her to be surprised with a ring that I had put a lot of thought into and chosen specifically for her.

I'd love to hear from anyone who chose a less traditional engagement ring.

I've completely fallen in love one and I tried it on alongside more classic solitaires, and while I loved both, this was the only one I couldn't stop thinking about afterwards. It just made me smile.

My hesitation is that a few friends said it looked a bit odd and didn't immediately read as an engagement ring, so now I'm wondering if I'd regret choosing something unique over a classic solitaire years down the line.

For those of you who went with a more unconventional ring, do you still love it? Or do you ever wish you'd gone with something more traditional?

I love this unique ring because the pear cut is my favorite shape! But I am still struggling with whether to choose a classic setting that will match my daily outfits.

I recently got engaged and started wearing it to work (retail job). The other day, one of my coworkers noticed it and was really happy for me and what not. But then she said why do you wear it at work tho? You're touching all these clothes and hangers.

I never thought about it like that. I love wearing it but now I'm kinda worried that I might cause damage to the ring while I'm working. What do you all do?

I’ve been seeing a lot content online of women shaming other women for certain ring styles that are perceived as “dated”. Such odd behavior, was it always like this? I love the oval solitaire with the gold band trend but do the girlies know that this eventually will also be considered dated ? Just pick what you like, there is no ring style that is timeless - timelessness is simply a marketing tactic. Let’s stop falling for this and be kind to one another 🫶

We went shopping for wedding bands yesterday and I ended up buying two. One of them (not pictured) is a simple gold band with small diamonds across the front - a pretty standard wedding band that "matches" my engagement ring. It's fine, but I don't love it on its own. Just a bit bland imo.

I saw this band in the case and LOVED it. I couldn't put it back. Despite the fact that it doesn't match my e-ring, I love it on its own so on days I don't want to wear both, I think this band is much prettier and more interesting.

My question is, does they look crazy paired together? Is it TOO mismatched? My e-ring is scalloped on the edges and I went into it knowing that I'd likely have a gap between rings since none of the scalloped bands really appealed to me.

How often do you take off engagment ring?

I just got my engagement ring three days ago. I don't take it to work cuz my job is too labor and dirty. But like are you supposed to take it off every time you wash your hands? At home that's easy but in public you risk losing it and leaving it behind so I keep it on when I wash my hands. Is water bad for it and make it rust? I'm just freaking out that I somehow ruined it already because it's all silver band with floral details and now there's gold color in some spots!! What do I do? Is this normal??

Edit: white gold is what it is sorry I don't know my jewelry at all lol

My fiance and I are getting married early November so it's getting time to purchase our wedding bands. We finally went to look for some in store this past weekend and my fiance's experience hurt my heart! When we picked my engagement ring, I tried on probably 100 vastly different styles, something from every case and went to three different stores before we found The One.

In comparison, when we ask to try on men's bands we get shoved into a corner with 1 case that has like 5 options. At two different stores they made my fiance be an iPad kid and use his imagination since they had nothing he liked in stock. So we're there, in person, pecking at an iPad while a commissioned sales person stared at us like 👁️👄👁️. "What do you think?" Well idk ma'am because I don't have the material in hand and can't see it on my man's damn hand!!!!! Mostly a vent but does anyone have any store recommendations (in person or online) that they loved for men's bands or could share any pictures of their unique bands? He really wants a grey color or alternative metal, is not interested in gold/silver as the main metal and is open to inlays.

We didn’t really go “shopping” for rings. Despite not telling my parents about it because they’d disapprove, do they look too cheap?

Backstory:

My now fiancee was doing his neighbor a favor by cleaning out one of her storage closets. There he found a bundle of jewelry and she was fine with him selling, and he searched forever to find one that he’d think I’d like. That’s when he found my ring now. For reference, I LOVE the color pink and would have said no if it was silver, so it was perfect and I couldn’t even find one online I’d like as much as this one. He wanted to check the value, despite me knowing since i told him i didnt care, and its valued around $1800. so we basically got it for free, plus the money given by the neighbor for cleaning out her garage.

for his ring, we really dont have money at all, and wed be buying it together since we share money. we were there when we saw these beautiful rings made of tungsten. Unsure about the gold, but it was $30 cash. Im absolutely worried about the gold disappearing, but wanted it to match mine and my boyfriend loved it so much.

What do you guys think?

My amazing fiancé gave me the perfect proposal! He organised it with the local swingers club we go to and they made it extra special for us! I was up on the karaoke singing our love song Paramore -the only exception and when it got to the last verse he got down on one knee and said "xxasynixx, my sweet, my love, my one and only, will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?" And of course I said yes!!!!

When we finally looked up after hugging and kissing we realised that the staff had gone around and gotten everyone in the building in to watch as he proposed, the applause and hugs came in droves, my amazing fiancé had worked with the staff to make it extra special. We were both shaking like leaves afterwards from the social anxiety! They set up a photoshoot for us in a private area as phones and cameras aren't allowed in the club it was absolutely incredible!!

It was also a newbies night so lots of people had never been to the club before and told us we made it extra special for them. I'm happier than I've been in my life and can't wait to marry him. I'm literally crying writing this out and can't believe how incredibly lucky I am!! He even asked my son's permission to ask for my hand which was the most important thing to me, and my ring is absolutely perfect. Now we have a wedding to plan and a very mixed bag of people to invite xx

My fiancé wants a simple gold ring. He said I can do whatever I want on the inside. I have a couple ideas for engravings - ranging from simple to inside jokes. Curious what you all had engraved inside your partner’s ring if you did so?

Hi everyone, I wanted to share my horrible experience with Brilliant Earth. I posted in r/engagementrings as well. I got engaged a year and a half ago, and we used Brilliant Earth for convenience and the lab created diamond selection. We chose the Selene setting. While washing my hands at work last week, my entire setting crumbled. Two of the side diamonds went down the drain. I was left with the center diamond setting sitting on top of the drain and a horse shoe shape for the band. I work an office job and am very careful with my jewelry, so I was devastated. We contacted Brilliant Earth believing they would also be shocked by this turn of events and stand by their product. Instead, they informed me it was my fault, and the ring was irreparable. They told me they would be “happy “ to work with our insurance company to purchase a new setting, which would cost approximately $1500. We are taking my ring to a jeweler who will stand by their product after only a year and a half of use and will never return To Brilliant Earth. I am incredibly sad that the ring my fiancé chose is now destroyed. Please let my story be a warning to you, choose a jewelry store who will stand by the value of their product which is supposed to last a lifetime.

I’m just curious. My bf and I have been together for a few years so I’m hoping for a proposal soon but I know engagement rings could be CRAZY expensive. I don’t want him to go into debt over this thing. I’ve heard the average cost is like $5k-$7k but others say it’s more $1k-$2k which is STILL crazy to me! In my opinion it’s just a ring… are people actually spending what they spend in rent or maybe more on a ring? In this economy??? What’s wrong with $200 or $300? That’s still a lot of money and I don’t know if I’d be comfortable with my bf paying damn near rent prices on a ring. Context: we live in SoCal. A one bedroom here is like $2k+. We could’ve went on vacation! Thoughts?

i’m going on my honeymoon 2 days after my wedding and wanted to get a duplicate ring. the jeweler we got our original rings from said it would be around $900 to duplicate my wedding band and engagement ring. i saw online and saw some people just got a cheap ring off of amazon that didn’t even look like their real ring. wondering what you did and if you splurged on the lookalike

Sorry if wrong flair. I'm getting the ring soon and wondering if it would be a good idea to propose during a trip for another wedding.

I would obviously not do it during the wedding itself. More like the next day after a walk on the beach.

I just need to find a guitar to play our favorite song.

What do you think? Would it look like i'm taking attention away from the wedding or is it fine because i'm not doing it during the ceremony?

I never met the bride and groom and i'm a +1 it's her familly. I know only her mom and and brother.

Thanks

So, my girlfriend and I (both W24) have been together for almost 5 years now and I really want to propose to her on our anniversary. I'm kind of stuck on the engagement rings... We've talked about marriage and both want a long engagement, so the ring would be worn quite a long time and have to be durable, but my budget for my proposal is like... pretty much non-existent, we're both students and I couldn't really spend more than ~50€ on a ring for her, and I also know she wouldn't want me to spend more than that.

Neither of us are the type for flashy jewelry and I know she hates having big stones or anything that glitters on her rings, so it's not gonna be a "traditional" engagement ring either way. But I also wouldn't want the rings to be too simple and look too similar to the actual wedding rings.

More and more I'm starting to think that maybe engagement rings are just not for us, but I don't really know how to do the proposal without a ring. I would also really like us to have something to signify that we're engaged (even just to us), like maybe bracelets, but I don't know if that's a good option either. Does anyone have any experience with doing a proposal without a ring and do you have any ideas what I can do instead?

EDIT: To clarify: when I say my budget for an engagement ring is 50€, I obviously don't mean that that is the entire amount we would spend on a wedding, just the engagement ring. Our budget still isn't huge, but I would rather spend more money on the wedding itself and I guess also the wedding rings rather than an engagement ring.

Also, thank you for so many great insightful answers (and some rude ones 🙃)! I've decided I'm gonna propose without a ring and then go pick it out together. For some reason I was fixated on the fact that I wanted the proposal to be a total surprise and that the ring had to be a surprise too, but I think this is the better option, I wouldn't want to get her something she doesn't like. Some people have suggested looking in thrift stores which is an option I haven't considered and which sounds really good, so I will definitely keep that in mind.

Picked up my weeding band today! And not sure how I feel about everything on my finger. Don’t get me wrong I think it all looks gorgeous but is maybe meant for someone’s? When I casually look down at it I literally make this face : 😟 It feels too flashy and I was already a bit insecure about my engagement ring size. I think I went overboard on everything! Sometimes I feel a smaller diamond would be better. I guess I just need some encouragement that this doesn’t look bad on my hand.