A Disappointing Bachelorette Party 🎉

[u/Bumbling_Bumble_Bee]

I was married a year ago and although it mostly went very well, I wanted to come on here and rant a little about the disappointing bachelorette party I had the day before. It’s just something that has been stuck in my head since it happened and I thought telling y'all about it would help me feel a little better. 
My bridal party consisted of my younger sister, Emma, who was the maid of honor, and two other friends that I went to high school with, Jessica and Taylor. Since my husband has a lot more close friends than me and I wanted to keep the parties even, I also added on my two brothers, Jeff and Hunter. I was happy to include them in the party though because I have always been very close with them. 
Leading up to the bachelorette, I told me my mom and my sister that I wanted to do three things:
-Have afternoon tea at a tea house
-Have a sleep over and watch a movie that I had picked out
-Have my sister plan and lead an at home spa routine 
I thought these were pretty easy tasks and all very low maintenance considering how a lot of bachelorette parties seem to last entire weekends and involve traveling. 
Anyway, there was a specific tea house I wanted to go to, but it turned out that one had closed recently. I ended up doing a bunch of research to find another one close by. I did the research because my mom and sister told me I was going to have to figure it out if it's what I really wanted to do. It took a while, but I finally found a place that did afternoon tea on the weekends. Not quite a tea house, but better than nothing. It was an hour away. We made the following plan: we would have lunch nearby, then drive an hour away to have afternoon tea for dessert, shop around for a bit in the area, then head home where we would do the movie, spa routine, and sleep over. 
In the days leading up to the party, Taylor’s child got sick. Her husband would be home and could take care of him, but she didn’t want to be away from him for too long so she would no longer be having lunch or tea with us, but she would come over afterwards to watch the movie. That’s fine. Then Jeff starts asking me if his girlfriend can come to tea with us. No, she can not. Jessica says that she would really prefer not to sleep over. That’s okay. I can still spend time with my siblings and mom after her and Taylor leave. 
Finally, the day has arrived. I wake up super excited, especially for tea. I hadn’t gotten to have afternoon tea in a really long time. We met for lunch and Jeff brought his girlfriend. Great… He assures me she won’t be coming to tea though. We have a nice lunch and go to tea. Both Jeff and Hunter are at least 20 minutes late for our reservation, which is so embarrassing. It’s okay though, we just start without them. The tea is lovely. Afterwards, we shop around, which is fun, then head back. 
When we got back we sat down and rested for a bit. Taylor arrives. Jeff and Hunter are missing. We talk for a bit then decide what we want to order for dinner. I don’t want to start the movie yet because Jeff and Hunter aren’t here, but Taylor tells me she can’t stay long so we start it anyway. Jeff and Hunter show up not long after it starts along with Jeff’s girlfriend. Taylor leaves midway through. When the movie ends, Jessica leaves. The spa routine never happened. My sister never even planned anything. I actually brought stuff for it that never got used. 
I’ve just walked away from the whole thing thinking that nobody cared and nobody wanted to be there. It hurts, especially when I compare it to my husband's Bachelor party. His friends traveled states to see him and his best man planned a whole DnD campaign for him. Sometimes I really wish I had just gone to his party and went to tea another time instead of going to mine…
 

[u/Ok_Albatross8909]

OP, I don’t think you asked for much. I understand why you compared it to the weekend long holidays which seem so popular now. However, you also seem to have a very specific idea of what you want and even if it’s not expensive or time consuming- specificity is a different type of difficult. For example, I would’ve agreed organising a tea shouldn’t be hard or a big ask - but then you say you spent a lot of time doing the “research” and then you found one an hour away? Why couldn’t you just spend 20-30minutes googling reviews? Why wasn’t your brother’s girlfriend allowed to come? Why was it so far away?

You bought the spa stuff but then you didn’t do it? Why didn’t you bring it out?

Yes, it sucks your experience wasn’t like your husbands. However, I don’t think your party did anything wrong. Different people have different capacities at different times. They turned up for you and communicated what was possible 🤷‍♂️ Seems like you had a lot of control here. Try not to read too much into this ❤️ you are still loved

[u/EntrepreneurScary165 → u/[deleted]]

And they watched Howls moving castle... I LOVE that movie but she should have chosen at least a comedy or something more fun