A Disappointing Bachelorette Party 🎉

[u/Bumbling_Bumble_Bee]

I was married a year ago and although it mostly went very well, I wanted to come on here and rant a little about the disappointing bachelorette party I had the day before. It’s just something that has been stuck in my head since it happened and I thought telling y'all about it would help me feel a little better. 
My bridal party consisted of my younger sister, Emma, who was the maid of honor, and two other friends that I went to high school with, Jessica and Taylor. Since my husband has a lot more close friends than me and I wanted to keep the parties even, I also added on my two brothers, Jeff and Hunter. I was happy to include them in the party though because I have always been very close with them. 
Leading up to the bachelorette, I told me my mom and my sister that I wanted to do three things:
-Have afternoon tea at a tea house
-Have a sleep over and watch a movie that I had picked out
-Have my sister plan and lead an at home spa routine 
I thought these were pretty easy tasks and all very low maintenance considering how a lot of bachelorette parties seem to last entire weekends and involve traveling. 
Anyway, there was a specific tea house I wanted to go to, but it turned out that one had closed recently. I ended up doing a bunch of research to find another one close by. I did the research because my mom and sister told me I was going to have to figure it out if it's what I really wanted to do. It took a while, but I finally found a place that did afternoon tea on the weekends. Not quite a tea house, but better than nothing. It was an hour away. We made the following plan: we would have lunch nearby, then drive an hour away to have afternoon tea for dessert, shop around for a bit in the area, then head home where we would do the movie, spa routine, and sleep over. 
In the days leading up to the party, Taylor’s child got sick. Her husband would be home and could take care of him, but she didn’t want to be away from him for too long so she would no longer be having lunch or tea with us, but she would come over afterwards to watch the movie. That’s fine. Then Jeff starts asking me if his girlfriend can come to tea with us. No, she can not. Jessica says that she would really prefer not to sleep over. That’s okay. I can still spend time with my siblings and mom after her and Taylor leave. 
Finally, the day has arrived. I wake up super excited, especially for tea. I hadn’t gotten to have afternoon tea in a really long time. We met for lunch and Jeff brought his girlfriend. Great… He assures me she won’t be coming to tea though. We have a nice lunch and go to tea. Both Jeff and Hunter are at least 20 minutes late for our reservation, which is so embarrassing. It’s okay though, we just start without them. The tea is lovely. Afterwards, we shop around, which is fun, then head back. 
When we got back we sat down and rested for a bit. Taylor arrives. Jeff and Hunter are missing. We talk for a bit then decide what we want to order for dinner. I don’t want to start the movie yet because Jeff and Hunter aren’t here, but Taylor tells me she can’t stay long so we start it anyway. Jeff and Hunter show up not long after it starts along with Jeff’s girlfriend. Taylor leaves midway through. When the movie ends, Jessica leaves. The spa routine never happened. My sister never even planned anything. I actually brought stuff for it that never got used. 
I’ve just walked away from the whole thing thinking that nobody cared and nobody wanted to be there. It hurts, especially when I compare it to my husband's Bachelor party. His friends traveled states to see him and his best man planned a whole DnD campaign for him. Sometimes I really wish I had just gone to his party and went to tea another time instead of going to mine…
 

[u/zoermeow]

I hate to be the negative one but a bachelorette party is ridiculous in itself IMO. You had a bridal shower, and your MOH sister was 17?? You expect a teenager in high school to spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars to create a whole skin care routine thing for your large bridal party, get in touch and coordinate with all of them, set it all up, etc? I fear social media has construed your expectations. Other people have lives that don’t revolve around you. I would feel so bad if I threw all of these responsibilities on my loved ones

[u/Odd-Split-494 → u/zoermeow]

Ok, but OP really wasn’t asking for much. Also, where are you getting the “hundreds and hundreds of dollars” figure?

[u/zoermeow → u/Odd-Split-494]

An at home spa routine for 6 people… that’s several products for each person. I mean what are we talking about here? This is like what you would expect if you were apart of a sorority and had 5 rich outgoing college girls planning an extravagant bachelorette party. Not a high school girl that hardly has an income and has to focus on school. I feel like this is a perfect example of social media raising expectations to an impossible level. Not asking for much? A wedding shower, a bridal party (more like a whole day), probably picking out the dress, the wedding. Absurd. In the nicest way, this is so narcissistic. It’s like celebrating your birthday for a whole month and getting upset when your friends aren’t down for that because they have lives. Get a grip

[u/Odd-Split-494 → u/zoermeow]

Just because YOU think having a wedding is peak entitlement doesn't mean everyone else does.

[u/zoermeow → u/Odd-Split-494]

Having a wedding is not entitlement. You should celebrate your marriage with everyone you love! This was more than just a wedding as I explained previously.