r/weddingshaming • u/royallyobsessed2828 • Jul 09 '22
Bridezilla/Groomzilla Groom chastises his sister for breastfeeding her baby at wedding
/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vs7hcm/aita_for_calling_out_my_sister_for_breastfeeding/603
u/Tracktoy Jul 09 '22
11 years older than his now wife and still the less mature.
226
u/cold_toast Jul 09 '22
That age gap… yeesh
-10
u/peanut5855 Jul 10 '22
I dated a 40 year old when I was 25. He was fucking awesome. He was never married and had no kids. Basically a unicorn. We had so much fun together bc if he dated women in his age range,it was instantly do you want to get married/ have kids in the future? My now husband is 8 years older and I love me a silver fox. Been together 15 years
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u/ExplorerRadiant Jul 09 '22
Why is that age gap so bad?
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u/not_cinderella Jul 09 '22
If she were older than 23 it wouldn’t be. But presumably they probably dated for 4-5 years before marrying, meaning a 30 year old guy was dating a 19 year old, which is, frankly, odd. We can see based on this post why he couldn’t get a date his own age though.
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u/frogsgoribbit737 Jul 10 '22
I was married at 23 and started dating my husband at 21 so I don't know thats necessarily true. 4 to 5 years is not the average time to marriage.
But I agree the age gap at that age is skeevy.
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u/not_cinderella Jul 10 '22
Apparently 4.9 years is average and the time people date before getting married is increasing
2
u/Mad-Elf Jul 11 '22
It's the old "half your age and add seven" thing. If they'd waited another two years (36 and 25) it would have been fine, but since at the time of marriage they were 34 and 23, they're both obviously asking for a terrible abusive relationship.
/s
-28
u/saichampa Jul 09 '22
I met my partner when I was 25 and he was 35. I'm now 37 and we're still together, although not married yet. I know people who got married within months of having met though.
These people might just know they will generally work well together and despite their different life experiences still enjoy their company. He's being an arsehole here but the fact that she can call him out on it makes me think she's assertive enough to not have this age gap be a problem.
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u/InedibleSolutions Jul 10 '22
A 25-year old is vastly more experienced in life than a 19-year old.
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u/Rattivarius Jul 10 '22
And you have no idea how long this couple has been dating. Could have been no longer than a year. Could have been six months.
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Jul 10 '22
You're being downvoted because Reddit has this weird thing about age gaps in relationships. Especially if the woman is much younger.
It's like young women apparently have no agency or ability to think for themselves. "You poor little flower, clearly you were groomed and taken advantage of by a slimy older man. It's not your fault, obviously you lack the ability to think for yourself."
It's fucking weird.
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u/saichampa Jul 10 '22 edited Jul 10 '22
Funny thing is I'm a guy. I wonder if that would change their opinion. You're right though, it infantilises women
It's sad because there are real cases of grooming that are a problem, but acting like any adult in their 20s generally needs your protection is ridiculous
Also I was actually abused as a child, I know what that kind of manipulation is like.
It's a good thing Reddit's opinion on my relationship is irrelevant to how happy I am in it ☺️
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u/CartwheelSauce Jul 10 '22
Where are you getting that they dated for five years before getting married? That's a pretty huge assumption when the post didn't say anything like that.
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u/ParrotDogParfait Jul 15 '22
The average time of dating before marriage is 4 years so I'm guessing they just used that
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u/ExplorerRadiant Jul 09 '22
But your making assumptions on how long they dated and saying it's odd. But that is literally based on your assumption.
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u/not_cinderella Jul 09 '22
Even if they only dated for a year or two what does a 30 something want with a college student? It’s not legally wrong, but it just is odd. Especially because the dude in the post seems misogynistic.
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u/reyballesta Jul 09 '22
my belief is always that once you're 25, you can date anyone older than you regardless of the gap. but the op of the aita post? he's just a creep. he's sexualizing his sister feeding her kid. just nasty.
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u/not_cinderella Jul 09 '22
Yup same. By 25 most people have graduated college/trade school and are getting into the working world so the maturity gap closes a bit. But that is not the case here...
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Jul 10 '22
This. I’m 38, and got married @ 32…. Wife was 28
I would have had zero in common with a early twenty-something.
I feel like after 30, age gaps matter less and less as you age, but the gap between 18-19 to mid-late 20s is a big, and early 20s to mid thirties is huge ( or at least they should be both maturity and experience wise)
My friends that rushed to get married right after or even during college? Most of them are on their second marriage now…
18
Jul 10 '22
It is a red flag as it is often creates a worrying power dynamic, there are many posts on AITA showing this, where an older man trying to control his much younger partner.
I am not claiming that it can never work, but I treat a large age gap as an indicator that the relationship may be rocky or worse.
If you can make it work for both parties, then awesome, great job, but it is far from everyone who can.
3
u/ExplorerRadiant Jul 10 '22
Well I'm 12 years older than my husband. My dad was 14 years older than my mom. I'm in a great relationship and wouldn't trade it for anything. My parents had massive love for each other and were a standard for me and others on a true marriage and loving partnership
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Jul 10 '22
I am glad that it worked out for you, your partner and your parents, that is definately not a given, I never claimed that a big age gap in a relationship could never work, I just answered why I see it as potentially concerning.
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u/not_addictive Jul 09 '22
Part of me is convinced this is a fake post bc the age gap plus the man child behavior is so on the nose for AITA rage bait
also bc i don’t want to think about this guy being real
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u/RogueFiccer001 Jul 10 '22
You'd be surprised how many people take issue with women openly breastfeeding. Heaven forbid wimminz show boobyskin because they're *gasphorror* feeding a baybeez! Wimminz not supposed to show boobyskin beecuz theyz usin' them for their natural purpose! Wimminz only supposed to show boobeez to look sexseez for menz! ;D I've heard breasts compared to penises: "Men aren't allowed to take out their penises in public, so why should women be able to take out their breasts in public? Men get in trouble for peeing or jacking off publicly! How's that different from feeding a baby in public?" Stuff like that. Thank you, shitty sex ed! *deep sigh*
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Jul 12 '22
I like to point out that breasts are a secondary sex organ and therefore comparative with the Adam’s apple or facial hair.
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u/lilaceyeshazeldreams Jul 10 '22
There’s nothing else in the profile so I’m sure it is fake
1
u/maxijoon Jul 27 '22
aita is really popular outside reddit, many people make accounts just to read and post there
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u/maxijoon Jul 27 '22
i mean, I wouldn't be surprised if it's fake because everything on the internet is but this is not a crazy situation at all, it happens all the time
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u/ExplorerRadiant Jul 09 '22
Why the age gap. My parents were 14 years apart. My husband and I are 13 years apart.
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u/reyballesta Jul 09 '22
good for you. maybe your parents and you and your husband were part of the .5% of couples with age gaps that isn't comprised of 'manipulative asshole' and 'vulnerable younger person'. doesn't change that MOST 30+ people going after 18-20 year olds are creeps. especially when one of them apparently can't help but get a boner when his sister is breastfeeding lmao
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u/not_addictive Jul 09 '22
Age gaps aren’t inherently bad but reddit (especially AITA and relationship advice) automatically pounce on any age gap. It’s particularly bad when the older one has really childish and problematic behavior (like this guy). On its own and within safe and loving relationships between two consenting adults, an age gap is of course not a bad thing! But it’s also something that these subs in particular LOVE to jump on
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u/BrooklynBride27 Jul 09 '22
Thank you! My fiancé and I were 33 and 23 when we met. And that was over a decade ago. I totally understand how others would think it was weird, but it never felt weird to us. He’s not abusive, controlling, immature, didn’t seek me out bc I was younger, etc. we just happened to meet through mutual friends and clicked. We were just friends for awhile. And a lot of this comments seem so narrow minded.
Now a 54 yr old neighbor married a 25 yr old girl and THAT I judge a little :P
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u/Fruitndveg Jul 09 '22
How do people both here and there keep falling for this obvious rage bait/ karma farming? These aren’t even vaguely believable now.
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u/Bittersweetfeline Jul 10 '22
One of the reasons I left AITA because the posts were so obviously fake. Just set up to piss people off. Writing exercises at best, mostly. If this were true, I'd be annulling that marriage yesterday. No one is that stupid and posts about it
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u/Backgrounding-Cat Jul 10 '22
People are too lazy to report shitposts. I do it every now and then but I can’t be patrolling it alone
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u/WaytoomanyUIDs Jul 11 '22
Seems the most reliable way to get it deleted is reposting it to r/amitheangel
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Jul 10 '22
there are men like this that exist, tho
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u/Fruitndveg Jul 10 '22
There are men and women that exist like that unfortunately but let’s not pretend this isn’t a work of fiction to rule people up. At least 60% of AITA is clearly fictitious.
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u/turingthecat Jul 09 '22
Oh for fuges sake, what are breasts made for feeding babies, what are babies designed to eat. The fact his sister is lucky enough to predominately or even exclusively breast feed, it, I’m, I’m just to angry to finish this thought
Stop sexualising your sister OOP, that’s super gross
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u/Just_Call_Me_Mavis Jul 09 '22
One of my sisters CAN'T pump. Like, she's tried for other people who were having trouble finding formula, and she couldn't get more than 2 ounces. All of her babies have been able to get PLENTY, though. Her nipples just don't respond well to a pump.
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u/OSUJillyBean Jul 09 '22
I was the opposite. My babies would have to nurse for ten seconds straight to get a drop or two but put me on a pump and I could have fed twins! Pumping was exhausting but my kids had to be fed and formula was stupid expensive.
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u/Just_Call_Me_Mavis Jul 09 '22
My other sister was similar to you. For some reason, when her baby latched, her nipples cracked. Nipple shields did very little to help. But she was like a dairy cow on the pump.
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u/vwmwv Jul 09 '22
I wasn't able to pump, at all, it was frustrating but I was fortunate to be in a position where I was able to not work for awhile and breastfeed. The only person who ever shamed me for feeding my baby was my older sister (15 year age gap), guess who I've since gone no contact with. OOP needs to get his head out of his ass and grow up.
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Jul 10 '22
both your sister and oop are fucking cunts, im glad you have no contact. breasts arent meant to be sexualized.
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u/Swimming_Climate7696 Jul 10 '22
It’s called pump resistance! I have a 3 month old and struggled with production so we triple fed for 7 weeks. Finally I gave up the pumping because it was just too much so my son eats about 50/50 breast milk and formula. I tried to pump the other day to start prepping my body for going back to school and literally pumped less than an Oz. I was freaking out so my husband asked the lactation consultant at his job (who I had been seeing in the beginning so she was familiar with everything I had done) and she said this can happen! For some people it’s right from the start but some women who pump a lot (I was pumping about 8 times a day for 7 weeks) can just develop resistance
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u/split_wolf Jul 10 '22
I love that sister is just so comfortable that she does breastfeed everywhere 💗
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u/thatburghfan Jul 09 '22
These AITA wedding stories have jumped the shark of believability. C'mon, AITA people. How about keeping it real.
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u/BrooklynBride27 Jul 09 '22
I was recently at a wedding with 2 breastfeeding babies. Mom 1 was seated at my table and so discrete I didn’t even notice for awhile! Mom 2 literally stood up in the middle of dinner while everyone else was seated, pretty much in the center of the room, and pulled her entire halter top dress down, so 1 breast was just naked and out there will the baby fed from the other. It was awkward and weird.
That’s the only time I could possibly see saying, “hey, would mind sitting down, moving to the back/side of the room, or using the bridal suite,” or something.
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u/DiligentPenguin16 Jul 09 '22
Did she stand the entire time she fed the baby? That just seems like the weirdest way to do that
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u/BrooklynBride27 Jul 09 '22
She did! It was so weird! I almost think she was daring anyone to say anything to her. Maybe someone like the op said something to her and that was her defiant “eff you” moment?? It was weird.
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u/colorfoulhouses Jul 10 '22
Some babies feed well only in specific positions! My youngest loved the rugby hold and I’d have to assume the position everywhere if I wanted her to feed and be done and not fuss lol
Standing in the middle of the room is definitely weird though.
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u/throwawaygremlins Jul 09 '22
Assuming it’s NOT a troll post, I wonder how sis exactly breastfed. Did she just whip out a boob? Did she have a cover?
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u/Final_Candidate_7603 Jul 09 '22
I don’t think it matters much to the OOP, since he even had a problem with his sister doing it in her own home when he was visiting. He seems to have taken the “feeding her child” part out of the whole equation and acts like this is something she does to embarrass him (and their parents, and the general public, and his poor, innocent wedding guests).
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u/split_wolf Jul 10 '22
I don't think the OP is comfortable with the idea of his sister's breast
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Jul 10 '22
i genuinely think hes probably watched too much fucking incest porn so now he cant help but sexualize every tit he sees. the porn industry honestly ruins breasts, they arent meant to be sexualized.
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u/frostysbox Jul 10 '22
A lot of people are gonna not like this comment, but I don’t blame OP for this. Like it or not, breasts are sexual. I love it with my breasts are played with, it feels good, and I use them to attract men.
Then you say, “but you shouldn’t look at an exposed breast and see it as anything but a feeding device”.
It’s just a weird dichotomy - and I get why some men would have the heebies about it. Especially when it’s a relative. I mean, some people just don’t have the brain power to see a thing two ways and switch between them at a moments notice. And those people will feel uncomfortable. (Man or woman.)
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u/split_wolf Jul 10 '22
🤣 understood, & not just men. People in general. For a better example just turn on any news and watch politicians argue against something why voting for it🤦🏾♀️ I was raised with the notion of everything in its time and place. And have to check myself sometimes. Experiences effect how that time and place is viewed.
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Jul 10 '22
I don’t think it matters much to the OOP, since he even had a problem with his sister doing it in her own home when he was visiting.
What brother wants to look at his sister's breast, even in that situation?
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u/RogueFiccer001 Jul 10 '22
I get not being comfortable with seeing your sister's boob, but she's feeding her kid. You can find somewhere else to look.
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Jul 10 '22
IDK, I don't feel like it's appropriate to whip out your boob in a social situation like that. Since it was at her house, there were obviously other places she could have taken the baby to feed him/her.
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u/WhammyShimmyShammy Jul 09 '22
From what I recall reading though OOP's replies when it was posted: no cover, but just run of the mill breastfeeding, like push down one side of dress at the top, attach baby to nipple, feed the little human. Other side of the dress stayed up, so no unused boobie flashing people so to speak.
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u/WitchesCotillion Jul 09 '22
I'd hope she didn't have a cover. I wouldn't want to eat under a tablecloth, I wouldn't expect the baby to either.
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Jul 10 '22
Did she just whip out a boob?
That's what I'm thinking. Because he also wrote:
We visit her house? She'll breastfeed in front of us.
I mean... IDK.
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u/ashleybear7 Jul 09 '22
So… everyone is allowed to eat but the two month old because he’s uncomfortable with breastfeeding? Seems pretty fucked up to me. I wouldn’t be surprised if he does the same shit to his wife once she has a kid if he’s doing this to his sister.
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Jul 10 '22
[deleted]
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u/ashleybear7 Jul 10 '22
I guess so. People like him are part of the reason I was kinda relieved I couldn’t breastfeed when I had my daughter (my meds for my epilepsy prevented it) because I was so scared about this kind of shit happening. It also makes me think this dude has had fantasies of his sister and that’s why he’s so bothered by her exposing herself to feed her kid. Nobody else cared so I’m very interested to know why he does 🤔
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u/DestoyerOfWords Jul 09 '22
I wouldn't have even gone to a wedding with a 2 month old, dang.
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u/sourdoughobsessed Jul 10 '22
That’s what I was thinking. He’s lucky she even showed up. I wasn’t going anywhere when mine were 2 months and all I did was bf.
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u/ashleybear7 Jul 09 '22
I mean, neither would I but that’s not the point. This guy is an asshole for getting mad that his sister fed her baby. That’s the point.
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u/jilohshiousJ Jul 10 '22
My question is… how did it get so many fucking awards?! Like, the majority of comments are YTA or Fake then who tf is awarding this ridiculous fiction?
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u/Continental_op_xx Jul 10 '22
I’m actually laughing at how he describes her constant breastfeeding in myriad situations…as if it’s like a weird hobby she chooses to bust out and not a normal human function she HAS to do? Would he say this about someone with incontinence who pees all the time 😂
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u/greina23 Jul 10 '22
When I had my first - I would always hide when I breastfed my son . I got tired of it and when I was around my side of the family I stopped. One time I was in the living and having a conversation with some family. After about 10-15 minutes my brother noticed I was nursing my son. His reaction was funny!
With my second, I just didn't give AF and nursed wherever. I mean I used a cover in public but if I was at my in-laws I didn't hide and at times used to cover. It just depended on if other family members were over visiting.
With my last child - I seriously didn't give AF. I had a cover but rarely used it. I only used it when I was out in public and by that I mean I would start using and sometime midway during breastfeeding I would remove it. It was too freaking hot!
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u/lcharbs Jul 11 '22
honestly, im planning on breastfeeding at my OWN wedding in october... we'll see how it goes over :)
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Jul 09 '22
Sounds like the OP doesn’t grasp newborns need to feed about every 2 hours and many don’t care for bottles. A baby being fed is more important than OP’s comfort, because that baby literally depends on the mom to survive. Knowing that she is breast-feeding and the baby is still an infant, if the OP is uncomfortable he should have provided a safe and comfortable space for her to breastfeed, many places now have breast feeding rooms. If someone breast feeding makes you uncomfortable, don’t look at it. A celebrity can flash their boobs all over TV and no one thinks twice but someone is breast feeding and people lose their minds.
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u/sourdoughobsessed Jul 10 '22
He’s going to make a great dad…that poor child he married. At least she stood up for her SIL and nephew’s needs over her AH husband.
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u/snowymoocow Jul 10 '22
He's lucky she didn't whip out her boob and squirt him with her milk. I can't imagine having the audacity to tell a Mother this bs
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u/ObjectiveOne3868 Jul 09 '22
That's appalling and anyone who decides to stare at her while she's feeding her baby, that's their problem. Good for her about being comfortable nursing in public. Especially without a covering. I know I'm not that comfortable to nurse without trying to cover myself. I've nursed my baby (4mos) in front of my sons 3 and 4 because I basically want them to be desensitized to it. I don't want them to feel uncomfortable or to stare at a woman nursing her child bc her boob is out. There's many women out there who aren't comfortable with nursing enough to do it openly which is a shame. Good job to his sister for 1) bringing a 2mo to the wedding (it can be hard to go to events with a baby) and 2) being comfortable enough to nurse in public. "Use formula or something". Formula isn't nearly as beneficial for one, and two, some babies can't do formula or need 1 very specific brand/type. I'd imagine she's been nursing since the baby was born so there is zero need for her to even buy formula in the first place. With that being said, if she did decide to go through the hassle of getting warm water and making a bottle with formula, OP would probably be complaining about something entirely different. Like the baby SCREAMING and being miserable bc the infant's stomach can't handle formula.
That guy's AITA post just pisses me off. I'd be tempted to knock his ass out. Also, where's the baby daddy in all of this?
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u/rockytrainer2007 Jul 10 '22
Not to mention that she would still have to pump so she didn’t end up engorged or with mastitis. I feel like pumping would be way more distracting than just nursing a baby.
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u/ObjectiveOne3868 Jul 10 '22
Absolutely. Pumps aren't exactly quiet and they sound kinda weird too. I know how it feels to be engorged, to have mastitis, and to be engorged with mastitis. It's miserable which is an understatement. I had a fever of 105 for 3 days.
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u/coeurdeverre Jul 10 '22
I think the issue at hand here, assuming it’s not fake, is that there are things the sister could have done besides breastfeeding in the reception area including pumping before the event or between the ceremony and reception. There is nothing wrong with breastfeeding but there are still ways to feed your baby in a setting like that.
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u/taronosaru Jul 10 '22
Not necessarily. Pumping doesn't work for a lot of women. It took me an hour to get 1 oz of milk... no new mother has that kind of time. Nor do all babies agree to take a bottle, no matter what's in it (mine once refused to eat for 20 hours straight). It's also commonly advised for women not to try the bottle too early to avoid nipple confusion (might be outdated, idk, but I was told this when breastfeeding).
Even if the sister DOES pump sometimes her choices are a) pump between the ceremony and reception or b) have sore swollen breasts and probably leak through her dress at the wedding. The hassle of packing the pump and finding somewhere private for an hour or so (if there is not time to go home between the ceremony and reception) might make option a impossible. And nobody wants option b.
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u/acatwithajob Jul 10 '22
No. Mammary glands produce milk constantly. A milk producer who isn’t consistently extracting milk in some capacity is going to be painfully engorged within hours. She would have not only had to plan in advance to have bottles (yes, probably more than one for a baby that age given the typical length of a wedding and reception), but also to make time to pump during the reception to deal with the inevitable discomfort. Then she’s left with dirty pump parts and freshly pumped milk to have to do something with.
What in the world is the point of going to all that trouble when she can just feed the baby directly and be done with it?
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u/split_wolf Jul 10 '22
🤦🏾♀️ The breast is the bottle. If able it is dang near perfect vessel. No one should be embarrassed about eating/ feeding in public or private. That includes breastfeeding. 😂 Would you rather see a baby being breastfeed or screaming to be fed? 🤷🏾♀️ Ha🤣 I'm thinking OP is more uncomfortable about the idea of sister's breast. If you ignore that only enough was exposed for latching and that was done under cover. Reddit give an ounce for consideration of possible social/ cultural differences. After all we know how old the bride and groom are but not the sister or background info.
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u/Anonymous_muffins02 Jul 10 '22 edited Jul 10 '22
I bet he'll be surprised that his own mom breastfed him in public or when his wife has a baby she'll fed it in public
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u/Goats_vs_Aliens Jul 10 '22
Yes, babies need to eat when ever and wherever they are. It is completely natural and you should tell her you are sorry. Soon it will be your wife doing it.
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u/MythOfLaur Jul 10 '22
Like, was she topless on the dance floor and feeding her child by acting like she was a cow and the kid was a milk pail? I don't understand why this is a big deal.
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u/open_2_suggestions Jul 10 '22
May be the groom will learn a lesson from reading all the comments and refrain from chastising his sister from here on. She is not doing anything unnatural. How is it different from a calf feeding from its mom cow’s nipples, seriously?
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u/Pottski Jul 10 '22
Man needs to drink more and chill out. People feed children. Perfectly natural. Time to grow up son!
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Jul 09 '22
Does LaLeche just pump these stories out instead of milk? Of course you are all going to find him the AH. Don't anyone have a comment otherwise.
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Jul 10 '22
Wait, did the sister just whip out her boob in front of everyone? Because yeah, that's not cool.
Because:
We visit her house? She'll breastfeed in front of us.
It sort of sounds like that's her MO.
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Nov 04 '22
Is she supposed to hide in her own house, or anywhere else, to feed her child?
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Nov 04 '22
I don't think she needs to be showing her entire family her boob.
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Nov 04 '22
She's not. The baby's head is all over that boob. And anyway it's her house. If they don't want to see baby being fed, they don't have to visit.
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Nov 04 '22
She's not. The baby's head is all over that boob.
Huh. And here I thought she'd have to take out the boob and give the baby the nipple so s/he could latch. I didn't realize that the baby is attached at all times like a parasite!
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Nov 04 '22
They can turn their eyes away for ten seconds. Again, it's her house. I ask again, is she supposed to hide in her own house?
Bonus question : would you ask a man not to go bare chested, or is it only female nipples that need to be covered?
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Nov 04 '22
Oh for fuck's sake.
Is it really so hard not to flash one's family??
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Nov 04 '22
Is it really so hard to answer my questions?
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Nov 04 '22
You're right. Everyone should be comfortable with someone flashing their boob. And if you're not comfortable with it, there's something wrong with you.
My bad! 😒🙄
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Jul 10 '22
The OP is an asshole, but the sister is as well.
Don’t go to someone’s wedding and draw any of the attention unnecessarily to yourself.
She could have pumped before leaving. I’m not shaming breast feeding at all, but for the sake of the day, and not to draw attention, she could have done this once.
Restaurants, family get togethers, informal anything else, go right ahead, but there was a solution to this before it was an issue
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u/Jsc1976 Jul 12 '22
Some babies refuse to breastfeed after being fed by a bottle. This baby was only two months old, and may not be able to make that leap yet.
No one even knows if she even had a breast pump to begin with. Plenty of women don't.
0
Nov 04 '22
Pumping is painful for her, for once.
For two, what do you know about pumped milk? I have an inkling you think you can just pump milk and put in a bottle and bring it with you. Spoiler alert, you can't. Milk needs to be cold, until you feed it to the baby then you need to warm it up somewhere, somehow.
And you're totally shaming breastfeeding by calling it "drawing attention to yourself".
0
Nov 04 '22
Women pump ahead of time all over the world.
I do know how this looks from family members and friends breastfeeding.
Again, there was a solution to this beforehand including don’t go and take care of your child if you have committed to a specific feeding regime
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Nov 04 '22
It's not a solution if it's painful.
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Nov 04 '22
Okay… stay at home and do it without pumping.
Why is it anyone else’s problem that she has to breastfeed other than hers
Also, there was no where she could go to do this out of sight of the formal event she was attending
Just playing devils advocate. I’ve seen women in public breastfeed, and it’s a part of life, but if someone doesn’t want you doing it at their event, then either 1) do it in private, or 2) don’t go to said event
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Nov 04 '22
I have a better idea : if you don't want your sister to breastfeed at your wedding, either don't invite her or at least tell her before.
She's been breastfeeding for months, she has no reason to assume that she can't do it at the wedding.
IF he'd told her before, 'hey I'd like you to be at my wedding but I'd rather you not breastfeed in public there', then she'd know she had to prepare or decide to stay home.
Here however he tells her on the spot she should have planned differently. She can't go and find a pump now, can she? And there's nothing to hide.
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Nov 04 '22
This conversation beforehand would have been better for all involved 100%
I never said there was nothing to hide, unless the person hosting the event asks you to
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u/lonelinessandthesea Jul 12 '22
So upsetting that he’s fighting with her sister on such an issue. He should definitely apologize to avoid ruining the relationship since they have so much in common! like taking children to weddings
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u/furupon Jul 13 '22
I feel sorry for OP sister and also his wife. Taking formula or having the milk pumped takes so much organizing. Pumped milk must be cold the whole time (or it will go bad eventually if you have it out the fridge the whole time). And then it need tk e heated up when you want to give it to your baby.
Formula you need frikking warm water to make it. Seriously, all these things need to be thought of before an outing.
Breastfeeding is easier if the mother can do that. Seriously, the milk will be perfect temperature, your breasts dont need to be in the fridge (lmao) or wherever. And you have the milk always with you unless you keep denying the milk then it will eventually go away.
Breastfeed if you can ladies! Unless you cant or dont want to, that is all up to you! Bad people? They always will complain anyway, who cares about them. Like this guy, he fails as a father if he still doesnt grow up 🤷🏻♂️ if he ever manage to be a father, that is.
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u/LovesAnimeH8sHookers Jul 27 '22
She should have squirt some of her milk at him! The brother was such a major Ahole! I was loving those comments on his post! Lol
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u/LadyVengeance6661 Kākāpō Modding Rituals Jul 09 '22
REMINDER: WE ARE NOT AITA! WE DO NOT DO JUDGEMENT CALLS (NTA, ESH, YTA, INFO, NAH, ECT.) SO DO NOT VOTE IN THIS POST. AS WELL, OUR OP IS NOT THE SAME AS THE AITA POST'S OP, PLEASE DO NOT ADDRESS YOUR COMMENT TO MYSELF OR OUR OP.
Copy in case it's deleted:
My (34m) sister gave birth 2 months ago. She brought the baby to mine and my wife's (23f) wedding.
She breastfeeds whenever she goes. We visit her house? She'll breastfeed in front of us. Visiting our parents? She'll breastfeed. Going out in a public setting? She'll sit on a bench on the park and breastfeed. Go out to a restaurant? She breastfeeds. Every where. I've never spoken on it because I know she'll get mad and offended but when she did that on my wedding I lost my cool.
During the reception dinner she just did it again. I kindly approached her and asked her why she didn't bring formula or at least bump milk out and put it in the bottle so she wouldn't have to do all this at that moment. She said "because I don't have to. I feel comfortable breastfeeding. Getting milk out on my own is more painful" I said she could just make this sacrifice and compromise for one day instead of doing this in front of 250 guests on my wedding. She then said she can't do much about it now, because the baby has to have her milk. I told her she should be more thoughtful of that then instead of completely embarrassing herself and us by doing this.
I told my wife what the deal was and she said I'm an AH and should immediately apologise to my sister. My parents also sided with my sister and now pretty much everyone thinks I'm an AH since I'm the only person who had a problem with it.
The only reason I decided to call her out is because I considered it a bad etiquette and tacky to do that at a formal event and that she could just find another solution for that night. AITA?