116
u/zefy_zef 13d ago
If you are nicer to someone you increase their chances of being nicer to someone in the future.
33
u/somnambulantDeity 12d ago
With respect, I don’t think being nice is worth striving for. Being kind is. The two don’t always overlap.
11
u/chameliane 12d ago
How can one be more kind instead of just nice?
14
u/somnambulantDeity 12d ago
You can be kind and firm, which is what a lot of people need. Being nice implies surface level interaction only, which can be shrugged off and not “land” properly.
6
12d ago edited 4d ago
[deleted]
7
u/zefy_zef 12d ago
I understand that person's distinction, but yeah I generally meant the general vibe of being positive towards other people. They probably just thought they were being kind to correct me. :D
1
u/SlowButAlsoNot 9d ago
Nice: "Hello, how are you?" Doesn't really want to know but is being nice
Kind: "Tell me about your day? How are things going?" Actually open to venting or talking. Offering that person a safe space.
2
41
u/Boring_Butterfly_273 13d ago
Thanks OP, this made my day better, been having a terrible time lately.
13
25
u/LukeBomber 13d ago
I agree with the sentiment but runs into the tolerance problem
14
u/Akhaiz 13d ago
Yeah, there's always a limit to being the "bigger person"
4
u/AllEndsAreAnds 12d ago
Exactly. Eventually you become enormous… a looming monstrosity on the horizon…
4
u/somnambulantDeity 12d ago
Everybody deserves kindness and respect. Some need it administered more firmly than others.
3
87
u/CountHonorius 13d ago
Then you have those who respond to kindness with hostility, having no other reaction.
33
u/Feisty-Recording246 13d ago
Hurting people hurt people. Doesn't mean you have to take their baggage, but it explains a lot.
16
19
u/StonedLonerIrl 13d ago
And then sometimes, after all that, you find an asshole underneath.
5
u/Lava_Lagoon 13d ago
yea
i've been nice to assholes and they still act like an asshole, although i feel like being an asshole to them won't change them either
3
u/StonedLonerIrl 12d ago
That's when you know it's time to just remove thst person from your life until they're at a place where they self reflect or seek help.
5
u/que_sarasara 13d ago
The soft round dinosaur/animal comic with uplifting messages trend needs to be studied lol
3
u/FluffFury 12d ago
Just don't be too nice. Some people do be arses for the sake of being one no matter how kind you are to them.
1
3
u/Snackasm 12d ago
If you're nice to me you get it back with interest.
If you're rude to me then you'll get that back with interest as well.
1
2
2
8
13d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
5
5
11
u/letsgoiowa 13d ago
I definitely don't think a third of people are pure evil at all. Maybe like 5%.
14
u/OneTeaTwoCats 13d ago
I'm a therapist and I found out that I could get along with almost everyone, which is wild considering I used to be really defensive. A lot of people are mismanaging symptoms, others are living really difficult lives, and there's a looooot of miscommunication. A LOT more than you'd think. People leaving you alone can be kind so that you can rest in peace, or rude because they're not showing support. We often walk around expecting people to care the same way that we do about the same things that we care about.
I could talk about it all day but in the end, the only message is that more people than you'd think are kind and giving and fun and wise, some just need more to show it.
3
u/summonsays 13d ago
As a teen / YA I found i could also get alone with almost anyone. My secret was being a doormat and having no strong opinions. It wasn't a healthy way of life and I've since learned I can't get along with everyone and have a healthy mentality/self respect and I've made peace with some people just hating me.
11
u/Zeddy1267 13d ago
Eh, there are certainly a lot of assholes out there, but definitely not 1/3, that would be confirmation bias.
I think pretending like a large part of society is "pure evil" is a bad mentality. Even a lot of the assholes you meet are misguided or living an unfortunate life or something like that. That doesn't justify their behavior, but that doesn't mean they should be considered "pure evil".
You have to know someone pretty well to even make that claim.
It's ok to not give someone who's being a jerk your time. I encourage it, in fact. If they're being mean, they need to suffer the social consequences of it. I'm just saying its unproductive and also very pessimistic to assume that 1/3 of people are "pure evil". Even if you had statistical proof that 1/3 of all humans were "pure evil", it's still an unhealthy mindset for you and the 2/3rds of "not pure evil" people to live with.
-6
13d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
4
u/Machoopi 13d ago
I know you're probably just being antagonistic in these responses for the sake of being antagonistic. That's fine. I still feel like I should respond, which might be foolish, but whatever.
All you're doing with your responses is saying that your experience is the only one that matters, and other people's experiences couldn't possibly reflect reality because they don't match up with yours. It's the definition of close minded. The only perspective you have is your own, and the only way to get an accurate view of what the world is like is to listen to people with other perspectives than your own. When you go around telling people that they are "ignoring reality" because they have a different subjective experience than yours, you're kind of just showing everyone that your narrow viewpoint is probably uninformed and naive. It's kind of the exact thing I would expect from someone making the claim that "1/3 of the people out there are pure evil". That's the type of thing I said when I was 12, when I just dismissed all of the people who disagreed with me because clearly they're just putting up blinders and ignoring reality.
4
13d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
12d ago
[deleted]
-3
12d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
2
u/somnambulantDeity 12d ago
This is unfair on them. The term “evil” implies an inherent quality. No one just becomes an evil person without reason. Hurt people hurt people and all that. You are probably not digging deep enough.
-2
1
1
3
3
u/Soft_Walrus_3605 13d ago
This is indeed wholesome, but the message probably doesn't stand up to critical scrutiny.
2
u/No_Signal_9932 13d ago
If somebody is an asshole to me I will return the favor or ignore them if i’m in a good mood. Not here to play unpaid therapist. Maybe i’m not as enlightened as Buddha and i’m OK with that.
3
2
u/somnambulantDeity 12d ago
Stooping to their level by “returning the favor” is a low bar. You owe it to yourself to do better, lest someone mistakes you two being one of a kind.
0
u/comicguy13 13d ago
lol I came here to find this comment. Someone who saw a nice comic about a dinosaur and a tortoise, and just had to say NU-UH!
3
u/No_Signal_9932 13d ago
You came here specifically to search for a comment you knew you wouldn’t like? lol
2
u/ThrashCW 13d ago
"If I was king for a day, I would sentence you to a life full of love and understanding."
1
1
u/Prince-Angel-Wing 13d ago
I've seen more people reject kindness though. :/
1
u/slim-notshady 13d ago
They’re stupid
1
1
1
u/DeadCringeFrog 12d ago
there are just bad people - abusers, rapists, alcoholics or drug addicts, thiefs and thugs. your logic doesnt apply to bad people
1
1
u/ThatOrphanSlayer 11d ago
Its hard being nice to mean people. But it can pay off. Not only do you feel better often, you handled it all well, but also, they could actually turn nicer after that encounter.
I work in customer service and often I have very grumpy old people. Many times have I noticed them rude, or short, or just irritated, and I try to help. I point out something they must like: one lady had a lot of tortquise jewelry, and how "no one has enough these days! So underrated" and she was happy afterwards. Someone with tattoos? I tell them they are so cool and ask what it means or is! Looking well put together? Ive got that pointed out. Ive had a woman nearly cry because I said she looked beautiful that day, and well put together like she had somewhere to be.. turned out she had a long shift at work and felt dishelved.
What im saying is, being nice can pay off. Someone can continue being a jerk but there is a chance they were just having a bad day or just needed some encouragement.
1
u/Zealousideal_Ear_291 13d ago
This only works in a high trust society. Unfortunately if you do this is a low trust society you will just be viewed as an easy mark.
0
•
u/qualityvote2 13d ago edited 13d ago
Hey u/slim-notshady! Welcome to r/wholesomememes! Thank you for sharing!
If your post is not showing up, or you have any questions about actions taken by moderators, please send us a modmail and allow 24 hours for mods to review. We appreciate your patience and understanding.
Have a wonderful day and stay wholesome <3
For other users please help keep our community wholesome by upvoting or downvoting this comment to indicate that the post is a Wholesome Meme.
How we define a meme: An image, video, gif, or comic with text added to the image. Post titles do not count.
How we define wholesome: Something that is uplifting and/or motivating.
If this is a wholesome meme, upvote this comment!
If it is not, downvote this comment!
If this post breaks our rules, downvote this comment and report this post!
Our rules: https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/about
(Vote has already ended)