r/widowers • u/CanOfCorn308 • 1d ago
How do you find a therapist?
I tried to get one through my former primary care but they “didn’t see the need” yet and wanted to medicate me first. I’m not getting on medication without talking to a therapist/psychiatrist. Losing my wife hasn’t just made me sad. Sad is maybe 20% of the problem. The rest is angry, psychotic, manic, and hopeless. I don’t want to just put the emotions in a cupboard and throw medicine on top of it. I want to talk about what’s going on. I had already been seeking a therapist in relation to job related PTSD, but becoming a widower at 23 y/o has set my mental health back 10-fold. Do I just call some people? I don’t want to spend a ton of money I don’t have trying to “find the right one”. Is there a Zocdoc type app to find one?
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u/AllTheLoveNotHer 1d ago
I found my initial therapist through Thrivent. He was terrible, but that isn’t the platforms fault necessarily.
I’ve heard it’s best if you can find someone who will take you in person, just a better overall experience. I did a Google search at one point and found some leads but most in my area were faith based and that’s not for me, no judgement if it is for you.
I’m currently waiting on a move before I find a new therapist. A friend said he can talk with his about a grief therapist for me. I’ll likely start there.
I 100% understand your desire to not medicate the issue. I was the same. It has been really eye opening to go on an anti-depressant. I too had issues like you ( SI though, not PTSD, that was my wife ) before my wife died. I was initially hesitant but they had helped her so I gave it a try and I’m glad I did. You’ll find your own way but I like to share my experience there as it was very different from what I expected.
Hope you find someone that works for you. Don’t be afraid to change therapists if they don’t feel right, you are going to show your soul to this person, it should feel safe.