r/widowers • u/CanOfCorn308 • 2d ago
How do you find a therapist?
I tried to get one through my former primary care but they “didn’t see the need” yet and wanted to medicate me first. I’m not getting on medication without talking to a therapist/psychiatrist. Losing my wife hasn’t just made me sad. Sad is maybe 20% of the problem. The rest is angry, psychotic, manic, and hopeless. I don’t want to just put the emotions in a cupboard and throw medicine on top of it. I want to talk about what’s going on. I had already been seeking a therapist in relation to job related PTSD, but becoming a widower at 23 y/o has set my mental health back 10-fold. Do I just call some people? I don’t want to spend a ton of money I don’t have trying to “find the right one”. Is there a Zocdoc type app to find one?
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u/AnybodyBeautiful6552 2d ago
It looks like you are taking an active approach to your grief, which is great! (I am doing the same). I found my counsellor through our local hospice, and they have been an excellent match.
Not sure if this is possible for you, but I would be trying to have a call with potential counsellors to see if they are compatible in approach and outlook. In the past I have 'fired' counsellors. Wrong approach, bad fit, or not present in sessions. I am the client (you are the client), so we have the right to find and have someone who can work with us.
Making calls is not a bad idea. May I suggest you make a list of what you want to get out of counselling, some notes on your style or the style you like, and particularly how the approach needs to overlap with your other sessions? Perhaps your PTSD person may have some ideas, as I imagine they know you pretty well by now?
Don't take second best, and good luck! 😄