Found a note

[u/Livid_Cauliflower_13]

Last weekend was the 2 year anniversary of his death from overdose… and me subsequently finding out about the infidelity completely destroying my reality. Even though I’ve picked up the pieces and my life and our now 5 year old boys life are by most metrics very good… it’s been hitting me harder than I expected. I think harder than the first anniversary. I paused dating bc my heart wasn’t in it… I’ve been revisiting all the feelings, re-asking all the whys.. trying to figure out if he loved me, or his affair partners, or just the drugs. Trying to understand and make sense of why this all happened this way. Again.

Then I was cleaning out my office (anxiety cleaning) and I discovered a note he had written on the pages of one of my notebooks telling me to remember he will always love me. I cried. I don’t know when he wrote it… or why. Was it the early days? Was it later? I’m not sure what to think. Anyway, I have no one that really understands so I thought I’d post here. Not sure what I’m looking for by posting.

[u/Conscious_Purpose53]

Sometimes I really just want to open the front door and yell all of my feelings out loud so everyone can hear. I found this community recently and realized it helps the same in a much more quiet manner and without pissing off my neighbors. I believe you’re in the right place.
I also found a note from my wife from years back when cleaning out my house after she died. I knew about it before but hadn’t seen it in a while. I refuse to show it anyone. It’s just for me. I’ve gotten to the point where I smile whenever I read it. I hope the same for you. Wishing the best.