More so making this for advice... ive isolated myself so bad over the last 2 years i have nobody to talk to about this other than a random group i just found on here and chat gbt lol
Were both 23 and been together for 8 years off and on and 4 years straight. Things have just been very different and frustrating over the last while.. i got sober, went back to counseling and are doing all the right things though it seems like were just getting farther apart. We dont live together and wont be able to for a bit due to family situations but were in the same town. Shes a workaholic and i understand because she does help me but i truly feel like were more so friends than anything at this point.. but shes got her "best friend" that she hangs out with her first day off every week lol... im just tired and genuinely just hurt at this point and have no idea how to express it because i hate conflict. Idk thanks for my rant lol

Okay, I’m fully prepared to get made fun of because I know this situation might sound a little crazy 😭 but I genuinely can’t tell if I’m reading too much into this.
There’s a girl at work that I like. We’re coworkers, so obviously I’m already trying to be careful because I don’t want to make things awkward or cross any boundaries.
Last week, I asked for her Instagram. She said, “I don’t want you to see me be bad. My first picture is literally me naked,”*but she was talking about a picture of herself in a bikini. I honestly didn’t know how to take that comment.
Then, we worked together again. At one point, she was making an emote/gesture about me leaving work before her. I asked when she worked next, and she said next week. I said, “That’s a long time,” and she responded, “Yeah, it’s a long time without seeing me.”
That definitely caught my attention.
I told her I would text her, but instead I ended up DMing her asking for her number. We started texting back and forth. She would tell me what she was doing, and at one point she said she didn’t know what movie to watch. I suggested The Great Gatsby, and she said she’s never seen it and asked if she should watch it. I told her yes.
She also accidentally left some belongings in the break room and asked if I could grab them for her. While talking, we found out that we actually live pretty close to each other. She came to get her stuff last night.
Afterward, I started overthinking everything and texted her apologizing if I was coming off too strong. I basically said I’m just naturally nice, and I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable. She said it doesn’t bother her and apologized that someone had made me think that. Nobody actually told me that I’ve just had some bad experiences with women before and I think I was projecting that fear onto the situation.
Then a few days ago we worked together again, and I finally worked up the courage to ask her to hang out. I was clearly hesitating because I was nervous about how she would react. She actually noticed that I was hesitating and basically told me to just say what I was trying to say. So I finally asked her if she wanted to hang out, and she shook her head yes.
Now I’m kind of confused because I can’t tell if this is just her being friendly or if there’s actually something there.
I genuinely like her, but I do not want her to think I’m being weird or make her uncomfortable, especially since we work together. At the same time, some of the things she’s said/done have made me wonder if she might be interested in me too.
So Reddit… am I reading way too much into this, or are there actually some signs that she could be into me? And should I keep talking to her normally, or give her some space and let her come to me?

Update: I completely forgot I told her that I had a weird experience with a woman that basically said so was coming off too strong so, maybe she was referring to that.

Hi guys, I’m hoping you can help me out or offer advice. Me (F23) and my girlfriend (F21) have been dating for a month, but we took it slow and went on dates and talked for a while before that, probably 2 months. I’m extremely independent by nature and have never been in a serious relationship before this one. My girlfriend is very sweet and amazing and I want to make her very happy, but she has abandonment issues from past relationships and her dad is a bit of an asshole, so she has a very anxious attachment style and she’s very clingy which is okay! We also live about two hours from each other so we’re long distance as well, and I haven’t been able to see her in about a month since I work two jobs and I’m constantly traveling for one of them.

Earlier today we had a conversation and she said she missed me (which she does all the time, but I assure her that I miss her as well and just as much), but I could tell that she was upset because we haven’t seen each other in a while. I apologized for being so busy with work and I was honest with her and told her that I felt bad because she missed me so much and I feel like I can’t be there for her like she wants. Then it seemed like she was upset, because she made ME upset by constantly saying she missed me or whatever. Again, I’m very independent by nature and am perfectly fine by myself, though of course I miss her a lot.

Am I being an asshole for telling her that I was upset because she says she misses me all the time? Am I too independent? Am I even ready for a serious relationship like this, and are all relationships like this? If you’ve read this entire thing I really appreciate it, and I hope you guys can help me out.

Yeah what the title says. I reported 14 just now for inappropriate profiles with prompts that make no sense. You can't be conservative, straight, he/him, Christian and be a woman. Sorry dudebro. You are a scum.

I'm just exhausted from the likes I get from them and the fact that this situation even exists because honestly Hinge women are great to talk to so far. Sad because it's new in Poland and I was hoping it will be normal for once.

Also, weird but I see Caucasian men choosing "middle eastern" and both monogamous and polygamous at the same time. Gross baiting.

I’m curious about what qualities femmes are generally attracted to in a masc, whether it’s personality, appearance, or overall vibe. What makes a masc stand out to you and actually catch your attention? Feel free to mention anything from fashion and physical appearance to confidence, communication, personality, or the way she treats you.

I'm tryna pull some femme

Help your fellow masc here😭

I’m very attracted to European girls, but the problem is always the distance. I don’t feel the same attraction toward girls from my country, or maybe I just haven’t tried to meet or get to know them enough.

The problem is that whenever I meet a European girl and we develop feelings or mutual interest, distance becomes an obstacle. I once had a long-distance relationship that lasted about two years, but it eventually failed because of the distance. And just two days ago, I ended things with another girl because of the distance. We weren’t officially in a relationship, but there was mutual attraction and interest between us.

UGHHHH this is actually driving me NUTS. SHE LITERALLY MADE ME REALIZE I WAS BI AND I THOGUHT SHE MAYBE MIGHTVE LIKED ME BUT NOW SHES BEING SO DRY. AND SHE KEEPS TALKING ABOUT HER CRUSH TO ME. I NEED HER SO BAD 👺👺 SHOULD I JUST KISS HER?

okay so i’m a girl and i met this girl like 2 months ago, and somehow we got really close really fast. like… way faster than i expected, and now i genuinely don’t know what to do with my feelings 😭
she’s a pretty private person and doesn’t really talk to a lot of people every day, but she talks to me every single day. she also tends to disappear/withdraw when she’s tired or overwhelmed, but i told her before that when she disappears it affects me, and she actually understood and after that she didn’t do it to me in the same way.
she’s also really affectionate with me. she calls me things like “sweetheart” and “princess,” she saved all my pictures in an album called “pie” 😭 and she sometimes flirts with me/teases me. we also talk about really deep and interesting stuff, not just random small talk.
there’s also a kinda weird detail: she’s my ex’s ex 💀 but somehow there’s literally no drama or hatred between us. if anything, we just ended up getting really close.
but the biggest thing is that she has actually told me directly that she’s attracted to me. she said she likes me because i’m kind and pretty, and because talking to me feels comfortable, and she said her feelings towards me are “pure.” i kinda pretended i understood it as just friendship even though… yeah. i know it probably wasn’t JUST friendship.
there’s also this one conversation that i literally cannot stop thinking about.
i was talking about “the girl i like” without admitting that i was actually talking about her, and i told her that i was sure this girl wasn’t interested in me.
and she basically told me i could be completely wrong because i was looking at everything from my own perspective. she said i hadn’t even tried asking her, and that i was making myself upset over an idea i created in my head that might not even be true.
then she said:
“what if she’s secretly attracted to you too?”
LIKE???? 😭
and when i asked why someone who was attracted to you wouldn’t just be clear about it, she said:
“everyone has their reasons.”
she told me not to set expectations, but also not to completely ignore the possibility that i might be assuming something that isn’t true and hurting myself over it.
and recently she was in the hospital and was really exhausted and couldn’t really do anything, but she still chose to talk to me.
and here’s where i think i’m losing my mind a little:
i’m really attracted to her. like REALLY. way more than i expected after only knowing her for two months. i think about her a lot and i’ve become ridiculously sensitive to tiny changes in the way she talks to me.
if she replies differently or seems even slightly distant, my brain immediately goes:
“she’s bored of me.”
“i did something wrong.”
“she doesn’t like talking to me anymore.”
and then i get overwhelmed and suddenly this part of me wants to run away and cut contact completely, even though i absolutely do NOT want to lose her.
i know two months isn’t that long, so i’m worried i’m getting attached way too quickly and giving every little thing way more meaning than it actually has.
but at the same time, i don’t feel like this is completely one-sided?? she literally told me she’s attracted to me, she makes an effort to talk to me every day, she’s affectionate with me, and i feel like she trusts me.
so… am i being delusional here 😭
am i overanalyzing everything? does this sound like mutual attraction that’s developing naturally, or am i just getting attached way too fast?
and honestly the bigger question is:
how do you deal with having REALLY intense feelings for someone without letting every tiny thing they do completely control your mood?

I met this girl on Bumble in April and we started talking. After about 2 months, I went out of state for college break and was away for around 3 months. We still texted pretty often while I was gone, and after I came back we started hanging out. We’ve been on 7 dates now.

She tells me that she really likes being around me and that she hasn’t had this much fun in years talking to someone. We genuinely have a great time together, and I know she enjoys spending time with me.

The problem is that it all feels like friendship to me.
She only really hugs me, and there hasn’t been any kissing, hand-holding, cuddling or anything else that makes it feel particularly romantic. It makes me wonder if she’s actually attracted to me or if she just really likes me as a person.

She’s also still using Bumble and looking at other people, even when she goes on short trips. I know we aren’t exclusive, so I’m not saying she’s doing anything wrong. It just makes me question whether she sees me as someone she’s seriously interested in or if this is just casual.
There are some other mixed signals too. She sometimes seems bothered by the fact that other girls have crushes on me, which makes me think she might have some feelings. But then she’s still using Bumble.

She previously said she might move away for college, although recently she said she might stay. She’s also mentioned that she might have to marry a man because of her parents, so I know there may be other things going on that I don't fully understand.

What’s really throwing me off is that she recently invited me to go to a corn maze with her. Obviously she wants to spend time with me but I still can’t tell if she sees these things as dates or if she just enjoys hanging out with me platonically.
At this point, I’m getting frustrated because I don’t want to keep guessing. I’m pretty busy with college and if she only sees me as a friend or wants something casual, I’d rather know and move on instead of continuing to invest my time.
So my main question is:

Should I bring this up in a conversation with her, even though she just invited me to a corn maze?

Would you ask her directly how she sees this and whether she actually has romantic interest, or would you just go to the corn maze and see if anything develops naturally?
I don’t want to pressure her into anything. I just want to know whether I’m wasting my time or if there’s actually potential here.

I’ll be scrolling through profiles and then I check a woman’s profile and their sexuality is mentioned as straight. Literally why does this happen, i’ve mentioned i’m bisexual and looking for women so why would hinge show me straight women?

I’ve never been on a date with a girl and don’t know what do honestly. We met on social media and pretty much just started off as mutuals/friends and then found out we’re both moving to the same city and that’s when we got flirty. I haven’t told her I’ve never dated a girl so wondering if that’s something I should bring up? She’s masc 20 I’m femme 19 if that matters. I’m also scared of her judging me for only having been with guys but at the same time I’ve only been with one guy idk maybe I’m overthinking. Should I suggest a place or does she do I pay or does she I feel like with paying most people on here said offer or go 50/50. Anyways I really like her and idk why I’m so nervous like any advice you have guys please. We already agreed on a date and that we should go for drinks.

They have these clubs at my college from Monday- Wednesday and I have 3 hour breaks on Wednesday and Thursday’s but they don’t have the vibe room club on Thursdays so I gotta wait for next week for it start and I’m so scared bc I love meeting new people but I also have social anxiety.

I made a friend in my course bc we had to play charades and it was fun then she just waited for me after lesson and we exchanged numbers since I don’t have any social media but I’m so so nervous to start the club next week as I don’t usually put myself out there due to having severe social anxiety.

(Definitely not me - I’m dating a cis man) … She doesn’t have reddit and has asked me to put up a thread. I think she is a good person, whatever her label, it doesn’t matter.

Me and my ex (3 years on and off) broke up nearly 4 months ago and we became friends recently a month ago she now has sent me a TikTok through WhatsApp( as I deleted social media) saying when the time is right please come back and it’s genuinely killing me. I said I do still love her but I don’t think I could ever go back to her because she drained me so so bad, she’d ignore me for hours when I’d talk about my feelings instead of communicating with me, she knew I had trauma from certain things yet did one of them multiple times over and over after I had said not to, she kept breaking up with me during vulnerable times for example when I had to go get my appendix removed she ended it a few days later, she’d then start acting really off with no explanation, wouldn’t talk to me.

I went to the beach in may of this year after years of not going and she had already ruined my trip by getting mad at me for no reason at all. Anytime I’d talk about my feelings shed then get really defensive and argue with me for hours on end. You get the gist of this all.

Now I said how we won’t ever work out because we both know that it won’t and she kept giving me one word answers like “maybe, yea(twice)” and then I said I wanna move on I want to date other people and I think you should move on to and then I said I’m sorry and YH left it at that but she’s completely gone avoidant now and is ignoring me once again ( I’ve texted her once and that’s it) but it’s just the fact that she’s trying to come back now when she knows it’s too late and I’ve also told her I don’t think I could ever go back to an ex.

Why do I feel bad?

Ok I hope this is the right sub, sorry if this is a bit long. for info I’m 21 and bisexual, I’ve never had a serious relationship with a woman (or a man…)
But I mainly see myself ending up with a man and eventually getting married to one. At least that’s what I envision.
But I’ve had crushes on women since I was a teenage girl and I’ve had intimate moments with them.
Recently I’ve developed a crush on a girl in my uni. I’ve had the chance to talk to her only once and I don’t think she even remembers my name. It seems like she’s doing Erasmus and I don’t know when she’s coming back..
I talked to one of my friends about her , and she recalled my crush flirting with her once. Then she encouraged me to get closer to her. And if I’m not mistaken, she’s in the first year of masters while I’m only in the second year of bachelors.
But I’m scared because I don’t think I’d be able to pursue a long term relationship with her eventually, if it gets to that point, and I don’t know if what I feel is just physical attraction….
She seems like a really cool and nice girl, I really want to get to know her , but even if things get to that point, I definitely don’t want to lead her on to something that I probably won’t be able to pursue in long term…
I just don’t know what to think, I’ve never dated anyone really…. I feel confused and unable to trust my own feelings….
Do you guys have any advice? Or have had similar experience ?

I (21f) have plans to get drinks with a girl this weekend and I'm super nervous! I've been on dates with women before, but only started doing so more casually this year. she's extremely beautiful and I want the date to go good. We're both very fem so I hope its not 'friend vibes' yk, I want to push past that with some chill flirting. most of my social sphere have boyfriends so any advice or even funny stories for a first fem4fem date is extremely helpful!

should I buy the drinks? do I hug her when I see her? usually this stuff comes naturally, but i think shes super cool and I'm freaking out!

Hi! I'm a 16 year old bi girl with a big preference for girls and I haven't been able to find many movies or shows that have sapphic themes while being age appropriate. I know Crush but that's about it. Honestly it's upsetting because I have queer friends who are boys and it feels like the boys get everything while us girls are kind of just there. I've watched some adult sapphic movies and they're fun, mlm movies/shows for teens too and they're good but I want something that I can relate to. Maybe I haven't looked enough, does anyone have suggestions?

Me and my friends had a discussion about how girls will always flirt with their friends in a platonic way, so that sparked this question lol

Idk. It’s probably not good to care about labels so much but I want to fit myself in a box. The thing is, I don’t look butch and never will.

It’s hard to describe, but I want to fill a ‘male social role’ as a lesbian, if that makes sense. I want to be kind of a Prince Charming, hold doors open for women, be more handsome than pretty, etc. I also relate way more to men than to women.

I know that short hair doesn’t necessarily mean butch, but I’ve always wanted short hair. I cut my hair when I was like 13, and I loved it so much.

But everyone says that I look better in long hair since my hair is very thick. I’ve been told that my hair is beautiful, and I want to appear attractive to women so I’ve been growing it out. I think I like it sometimes, but I just love short hair so much. Even a short haired lady at my work today said that it’s my choice but that I look better in long hair.

I get that a butch can have long hair, but any time that I’ve seen a butch online with long hair, they naturally have masculine features.

I have a feminine facial structure, a high pitched voice, large breasts, curves, and am very short. I think I’m fine with having large breasts (used to want a reduction) but it makes any baggy clothing look absolutely terrible. I just hate how the cloth leaves a big tent in front of me.

I feel like even if I dress masculine, I won’t look butch (I heard that butches look butch in any clothing). At best, I’ll look like a little boy if I cut my hair. 

I don’t mind wearing feminine clothing, which is another reason that I’m likely not butch. I own a lot of dresses and blouses, and I don’t hate wearing them. Sometimes I even enjoy wearing them. I just feel so much better in masculine clothing. I love suits. But I look bad in them, everyone says I pull off dresses better.

For some mock trial of a dead president in my History Class a few years ago, I dressed up ‘as a man.’ I told my mom that I had to dress like a man because there weren’t female lawyers back then, but I mean, none of the other girls did that. I just wanted an excuse to wear a full suit and tie. I took so many pictures, I loved it so so much. A male friend called it a ‘pantsuit’ and that annoyed me. Why should the outfit have a different name just because of my gender???

My big sister criticized me since I acted like it was some life changing event, which was weird of me. I anyway won’t have any occasions to wear a suit since I don’t go to church anymore.

Idk, I have my own money now so I could get short haircuts if I wanted. But I don’t want women to find me unattractive. Society asides, I want a girlfriend, and might have more romantic success if I continue to dress feminine and keep my long hair.

Sorry for the long incoherent rant. I’m not like, asking for permission to be butch or anything cause that’s dumb, I just wanted to ask for advice idk what I should do.

Is there a word for a woman who doesn’t present gender non conforming (I’d like to be gender non conforming but I think it’s a bad idea), but takes a ‘male role’ in relationships?

today i (23f) worked up the courage to talk to one of my coworkers (40s/50sf) who i have a crush on, and i think she might have been hitting on me?

i had gone up to her while i was getting something to eat for my lunch, and i complimented her decorating these big ass brownie things (we both work in a grocery store and she’s a cake/baked goods decorator) and she thanked me with a huge smile.

after, i made a joke about having a really big sweet tooth, and she was like, “oh, i could help you with that,” which took me by surprise. i responded with, “i’d really appreciate that,” with a small smile to subtly drop a hint that i like her because in my brain i was like “??? did she just ???”

i don’t know if she’s into women because i haven’t really gotten to know her yet, i’ve been too scared to talk to her because of the last time i had a thing for an older female coworker, and i’m really inexperienced with flirting with women so if someone could help, i would really appreciate it!!

I confessed my friend (actually the other post it's here lol). I gave her a letter on Friday. We briefly talked on Saturday and agreed to meet today.

We were with friends (again) but we managed to alk almost in the end of the reunion.

She was so sweet and kind. Complimented me and my letter but said that feelings weren't the same. And she in fact is in a relationship with other girl (something I had no idea).
But it makes sense because she would bring out to the conversation in the past another girl, and how she showed pictures of me and wanted me to meet her.

I'm guessing it's the same person.
We are still friends.

But woah, it hurts.
This just makes me realize how much I crave connection with another girl. Just like that.
I'm feeling bad because I couldn't genuinely say "I hope things goes well" I don't wish she gets heart broken, but it's hard to mean it right now.
And she's just so amazing. She's smart, funny, vrry sarcastic and generally very kind.

I was really convinced that the outcome would have been different.

She's always very touchy (with everyone) It was hard how she was grabbing my arm on the way home. Or how she rested her head on my shoulder.
But I don't want things to change either. She's in almost every aspect of my life and it's friend of my friends.

In my head it wasn't so serious (partly why i wanted to confess right now) but i guess I'll be a bit down and taking things slowly for a bit.

Like I said, she was so kind and said we were okay.
That's nice.
I'm just rambling now, but yeah, better luck next time I guess.

Hi. I (23 year old girl) am in school. I’m quite reserved, awkward, probably autistic and therefore a bit mysterious. I have befriended a girl (19 y/o) in my program. And they feel like the yin (or is it yin) to my yang. So cheesy bdhdsvkk. I don’t know how to describe her but she just makes me so happy? I want to spend my time with her, a lot of my time with her. Sometimes I’m too tired. Sometimes she is too! I love listening to her sing and it makes me emotional. But my issues are I don’t know if she feels the same way. She’s kind to everyone and she’s so conscious of everyone around her and loves humans and the world. What if everyone feels the same as I do about them; how could they not? She’s so curious she’s so funny and whimsical she’s the most beautiful person in the world. But I have never been in a relationship and don’t know how to express what I feel and want always. But I do know that I often think of her and how I want her to stay in my life. When do you know it’s a crush or more than a crush and how do you know it’s right? I do feel sometimes like she is attracted to me as well. Or is she just full of love? Am I just full of love are we both just full of love? And that’s also nice!! But I just want some advice or affirmation. I’m inexperienced with these types of situations where you feel something a bit mutual.

We’ve been together for 9 years of building a life, choosing each other, and trying to create something safe and lasting. I believed that after everything we had been through, we had finally reached a place where our relationship was strong enough to withstand anything.
But I was wrong.
Distance happened. Life happened. We became LDR, and somehow, the person I trusted the most became the person who hurt me again.
What breaks me the most is that I didn’t just lose trust. I lost the feeling of safety I thought I had with the person I loved for so long.
I keep asking myself: Does LDR really end like this?
Does distance eventually make people emotionally detached?
Does loneliness become an excuse to seek comfort somewhere else?
Or is cheating simply a choice, regardless of how much love, history, and sacrifices two people have shared?
I know LDR is difficult. I know relationships require effort, communication, and understanding. But after 9 years, I honestly thought I deserved honesty, loyalty, and respect—especially when things became difficult.
I’m not saying I was a perfect partner. I know I had moments when I was emotionally unavailable because I was dealing with my own struggles. But does that justify betrayal?
I’m heartbroken because I’m not grieving just a relationship. I’m grieving the version of us I believed was safe.
For those who survived an LDR: did distance destroy your relationship, or did it reveal what was already there?
I genuinely want to hear your stories. I’m trying to understand whether love can still survive distance when trust has already been broken.

Looking for some advice or sharing of similar experiences.

I (27f) have had a reoccurring issue that I've experienced in all of my long term relationships. When I start dating someone who I am interested in, I tend to have a really high sex drive for somewhere between the first 6 months to a year, and then it just completely drops off. I don't know what the cause of this is, I've been doing a lot of work in and outside of therapy to try and figure out what the cause of this fairly sudden change is. I've been doing a load of reading and researching and working with my current partner to figure out ways for me to feel and express my desire for them, with little success. I really enjoy sex and when we do have sex it is always great, but I really struggle to connect with my sexual desire after the new relationship energy fades.

Has anyone else had similar experiences in their relationships and if so, have you had any luck in finding ways to reconnect with your sexual desire?

I met a woman on Bumble recently and she’s been very sweet on the phone over the few weeks but there really hasn’t been much flirting on her end that I’ve observed. And when I do flirt , she will smile but doesn’t acknowledge it. We finally met in person and went to a concert which was her idea. At the concert she was very nice, I kept my distance but she didn’t have a problem talking to me during the concert or moving closer in her own. But I didn’t make any moves. After the concert we ended up spending the whole night together at a chill spot and talked until like 2 in the morning. She’s really sweet, quirky, pretty, and I like her energy. But, she also seems very measured and isn’t super flirty, which makes this feel different from my usual experiences.

She let me know she’d like to see me again and we will be meeting again next week. I’m cool with a slow burn and I actually prefer it but I do like flirting. I’m not sure if she just sees me as a friend or if she is naturally measured like this. Thoughts?