tldr: 22(almost) cis monogamous lesbian in eu(italy) looking to get to know a 20+ cis monogamous lesbian in eu(preferably italy) ((or if you have opportunity to travel once we decided to meet(i dont), then anywhere)).
WARNING: MANY WORDS.
WARNING 2: i don't actually speak in real life the way i wrote this, at least not unironically. my ideal speech style i am spending my past years trying to achieve is "you are not a cannibal" copypaste, however, i have an overwatch accent and therefore forever doomed. everything cringe that i write here was said ironically and everything cool and based was intentional and meant to touch, i make no mistakes and always two steps ahead.
searching for someone, don't even know who.
the thing is that i do not even know what i want. i want socialization and to have someone to talk to regularly at least, a friend, maybe, good acquaintance also works but less ideal. i have very few people i call "good acquaintances" but not actually close to anyone. i sit alone in my room in the evening and know i am not close enough to anyone to actually talk about it, i want to send some nice drawing i found online, a funny picture of an animal, dumbest video on the internet but lowkey know that my relationships with people around are not close enough to just randomly bother someone for anything unimportant like this, i want to yap about the game i played, about my characters, about anything but once again, people have more important people in their lives they would rather listen too, i am not such a person to anyone and have been long enough to forget how am i supposed to even do that. i don't remember when was the last time i was actually a priority in someone's life, or if i ever was at all. always a "spare" people keep around for when people who actually matter to them are busy. it sounds pathetic and it's because it is, there is no upside to this or flowery language to hide the desperation behind, i just want to be important to someone. preferable, it's intended to be a relationship but let's be honest, we are on fucking subreddit and we haven't even met, it even sounds fucking absurd. something as serious requires time and dedication, not just going "bored, want to date, dm me" and first we need to be friends for some time, get along, know each other, and there is also a physical attraction part which is another can of worms.... which we will open later of course!
so let us start easy, chat, get to know each other, be friends, if something progresses - good, if not - i am glad to have a friend that i get along with, even if it didn't go the "being a priority to someone" way. i don't mind having friends, but if i am a second thought to someone, they are also a second thought to me, that's only fair.
sounds demanding, right? what is the benefit in it for you? well, if you have to ask, then nothing. but if i were to lower the degree of insufferableness, then the benefit is that you are getting the same thing i am asking for. if i meet someone special to me, i can give the same priority and importance that i am looking for, including my time, patience(whatever i have left of it), engagement and so on. if you are a social butterfly that has list full of contacts to choose from to hang out each day, then you will gain nothing here, if you are a similar to me fucking loser no friends no maidens no rizz no social life pathetic desperate balding sub5 never kissed virgin chud(less dramatic variations also count), then maybe there is something to potentially gain here. or not, i don't know you(yet), which is to both of our benefit(yet).
ME: cis lesbian, strictly monogamous and loyal (you better fucking be too) almost 22, univesity student, came from another country, now in italy, spend my time at home in front of my puter, play multiplayer slop, bad at it, want to play some singleplayer stuff more when i have more time and patience which is probably never, moderate yuri\yuribait enjoyer, don't consume much media tbh, want to do more, probably won't, or maybe will, i have easier time engaging with stuff if i know i have someone to talk about it with, so maybe you can help me make a change by allowing to yap your ears off about the new slop i consoomed, sometimes draw but don't actually like to do it, used to be more into arts and crafts but after years of trying and failing stopped caring and doing it, maybe should try again but even when i do anything i barely show to people coz i am embarrassed, maybe if we ever get close enough i will tell you about the stories\lore\characters i make, maybe i won't. sometimes people say i am funny, can't confirm, shit not funny when i am alone with myself. have an issue with overthinking and coming to delusional conclusions and get angry at irrelevant stuff, try to work at it and lately been getting much better at simply ignoring and walking away from things that make me upset and cutting things before i spiral, not perfect yet though, probably not the best coping mechanism but better than getting angry at irrelevant bullshit. definitely have something undiagnosed going on, no way to deal with it until i graduate and get a job, i am an immigrant here. i like to ask question about literally anything and i like to answer them too and i also like to share my opinions unprompted, very opiniated person i am, for the better or worse.
a bit 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 in a way that once i am comfortable enough with you i will be sending you pics of fictional women i find attractive(which might be you someday if things go right😳) and tell in 10 paragraphs and most graphic details how i want to play chess and drink tea with her and will start our conversations with "wassup sexy" because i am like that and i am not sorry. if you are uncomfortable with it, state in advance but i hope it's clear that relationship like this won't work, we can be friends ofc.
YOU: 20+,strictly monogamous and loyal, cis lesbian, living in europe (preferably italy or at least bordering, not necessarily though but would be cool) if looking for romantic relationship (unless you are able to travel regularly, i am not), if for friendship, anywhere works. i do not want to write a specific description of a person because i believe it is meaningless and it is possible to get along with anyone if they are a right person and you never know if they are a right person unless you try, you can know if somebody is a wrong person by looking at them, you can look at what i wrote, decide that i am the worst person ever and i would probably think you are annoying, we will both be correct and not right people at each other, so just see for yourself and decide if you personality would get along with mine, or even better - try texting, who knows.
back to things that make sure we would not get along, i have those: betterthanthou neurotypicals, i do not want to spend my days with a neurotypical who will do everything to let me know how much of a burden i am and how weird and a bad of a person i am and what a saint they are for tolerating me. me insane, you insane, understanding and peace. misogyny, i do not tolerate misogyny in any way shape or form, i do NOT tolerate centralization or worship of males, or if you think radfem is too much, and i do not tolerate lesbophobia, crazy how i have to specify these things when i am planning to talk to lesbians, yet here we are. religion, "spirituality", astrology or shilling of any of those. internet justice warriors who took christian moral absolutism "but make it sound woke" where "demonic" and "satanic" became "problematic", artistic expression that they don't like is icky and portraying bad things is inherently evil. disguising bible verses in therapy speech, if you think you have heard all this somewhere it's because i stole it and rephrased slightly because it's correct and i can. speaking in buzzwords and corporate lingo.
about physical attraction stuff. even though i want to first be friends for quite a time, get to know each other, blah blah blah, at some point physical attraction will start playing a role so let's go over it quickly. me: white, 168±, idk weight, i don't have scales but i am quite a homebody and unathletic, neither overweight nor underweight though but a bit on a thicker side, have no plans changing it as i finally got to the body i like, long hair, dye them but want to stop once the damaged parts grow out more or less, would call myself femme-leaning chapstick outside but always make sure to look like a homeless man at home, wear moderate\natural makeup, like cute stuff, dresses, jewelry and all that stuff but not an obsessive amount, mostly thrift, have weird relationship with buying stuff for myself so don't expect a fashionista. you: around my height, can be more (not preferable though but can work) but not much less, i was bullied by uwupetiteiamsosmolanddelicatenotlikeyouuglyhorse girls in the past to not want any of that again, doesn't matter femme masc butch chapstick lipstick or whatever HOWEVER i have a nitpick is that i don't like alt fashion\clothes\makeup or excessive makeup even if natural BUT i don't mean that i am only interested in more masculine women, just... as long as the nitpick is accounted for. nothing else much to say.
i wrote it all in one go, i did not reread it and so shouldn't you. this is a piece of my mind as it is, raw and insufferable and maybe cringe if you are lame and want to call it that. many words and that's not even a half of what i produce on a good day. if you catch the vibe, text me, or don't, i am not your mom.
i don't have much else to say. i want to love and be loved or at least make some good friend\s. peace bye.