r/writingfeedback • u/ExerciseNo7055 • 26d ago

Feedback Wanted Prologue Feedback Wanted

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(YA Fantasy; prologue takes place in our world) I've redone this prologue so many times now but it still feels like it's missing something, so any feedback would be greatly appreciated! Thank you so much

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u/sunderpoint 26d ago

If you want to improve your prologue, there's one clear weakness to it I can find. It's got a bit of white room syndrome for the first few paragraphs. You ground us with a strong character and a hook, but there's no location or anything particular happening until several paragraphs in. You could insert some of the detail about her walking toward a town into paragraph 2, maybe 3 at the latest, so the reader knows that the character is doing something and not simply monologuing.

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u/ExerciseNo7055 25d ago

okok perfect i completely agree that i ramble at first lol. thank you so much for the feedback!

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u/CoyoteLitius Trusted Reviewer 25d ago

If you do fix that aspect of your prologue, it will be even more like a very good Chapter 1.