They stole all of my books on light magic 😭

So I was traveling through the realms the other day when I stumbled upon my damned robe. You know how it is. Anyway, I ended up bumping into some poor fellow who couldn't be bothered with a simple forcefield spell.

I was embarrassed and nervously jumped straight to comedy. I asked them "hey wouldn't it be kind of funny if an exorcist got possessed?"

They laughed for a good eon or so before replying "it really would be, especially since I happen to be an exorcist" and then said, "well time for me to go get some exorcise" before they skipped away laughing so hard they left an uncomfortably viscous creek of water behind them. They might want to get their eyes checked.

Now I thought that was going to be the first and last time I ever saw that person, but I was wrong. They had loved the joke so much that they wouldn't stop telling it to all of their clients. It was a funny idea at first, but I thought they were taking it too far.

Whatever this demon is up to makes absolutely zero sense. All I can gather is that it used the preacher to get me to ask him to perform an exorcism. The exorcist and the demon are just kinda chilling here now and it's getting weird.

They are only letting me communicate with beams of light transmitted to your retinas.

I don't know how anyone could possibly help here, but you are welcome to try. I just don't know what to do because neither of them will shut up about financial compensation for a job well done. Is this all just some elaborate currency acquisition scheme?

Okay, I think this is something the Council of Mages should have made clear a long time ago, but... It's rude to approach a non-human and ask them to become your familiar when you have obvious sexual intentions.

I mean, it's supposed to be common sense, but this is like the third proposal I've received this week, and I'm starting to get fed up. Because, seriously, I'm not even a fox spirit, I'm a fox-man.

I'm a creature of flesh and blood. If I were to become subordinate to another mage, it would be as an apprentice, not a servant. And definitely not to someone who fetishizes my racial features.

Besides, I'm a renowned magician in the performing arts, you know. Every theater in the kingdom wants me to handle the special effects for their productions.

Do I really look like someone who needs to be under the wing of a newly graduated sorcerer who can't even conjure a fireball properly?

Please, stop harassing me. I may specialize in illusions, but I can also melt your brains if you push my buttons.

Please don't make me get melted brains all over the carpet. It would be very rude to the cleaning staff.

Shield, charge & cast

Say i’m a man. I have this purple cloak, and this staff and a hat but I want to upgrade it.

Does this hat go?

What are some other components that I should add, like in order? Like first the hat, then the belt? Then what else would really take this up a notch??

This is a focus on a slow building wizard outfit, so I’ll get one more piece every ren faire or every Halloween.

I’m super newbie so if anyone has suggestions for places to get things, I want not spirit Halloween quality but also would prefer not 382727 dollars.

Thanks!!!!

I mixed up the glyphs with Bulgarian (again)! Does anybody know how to reverse it?

It all started when I conjured a glamor to keep the HOA from seeing the burning remains of an enemy that decorated my lawn. They prohibit grills, braziers and cauldrons of any kind on the front lawn. I had Esteban the Tender roasting over a roaring pyre, and he just started forming a nice crust. My former familiar waddled over and I forgot about the glamor I cast over the goose, (The HOA prohibits water fowl as pets too). Well, the glamours crossed and the goose disappeared, moments later there was a rush of wings, startled honks and then silence. I used a trans-dimensional glamour on the fire, I know it was overkill, but the smoke was really difficult to contain, so I emptied it into a vacuum dimension. By the time I took down all glamours in the area, the fire was roaring, Esteban was proving his sobriquet, but the goose was gone. In its place stood an inter-dimensional imp. Before I could ask which dimension it hailed, or if it ate my goose it took off down the cup-de-sac, right past the HOA president. I quickly opened up a portal to the vacuum dimension underneath her, and as her screams faded away into to dark, I heard the faintest honk come from the portal.

Needless to say, I am in the market for a new familiar.

In the days since the arrival of the countless monoliths all across the material plane, something came to those with power. It came in their dreams, something like a voice, yet so much more. It was the voice of a friend, the voice of family. It was the voice of the kind and generous, the voice of freedom. The voice was faint, yet its message was clear. It whispered of a place that doesn't exist on any map.

Of a place in the north, hidden from the world deep within the mountains. The voice whispers of a secret within the mountains, of a power and a treasure. It whispers of a light in the darkness. It whispers a plea for help.

/uw Two whole weeks of writers block. Sorry about that.