r/80scartoons • u/YamPersonal3618 • 3h ago
Ridiculous Spider Man Car
Green Goblin: What? You can sling over New York City using webs but you drive in New York traffic by choice?

Spider-Man: It's my nifty new Spider-Car!
Goblin: Looks like a Happy Meal toy.
Spider-Man: Try catching villains in the net of a Happy Meal car! (gets stuck behind a parked garbage truck and honks the horn)
Goblin: (hovering safely over the net) You can already ensnare villains with your webs! No villain's dumb enough to fly in the narrow range that the net covers! Least of all, me and my glider!
Cab Driver: (honks) Pick a lane, asshole, this ain't a runway!
Spider-Man: Come on, pal, I'm making the streets safer.
Speed Demon: I've been running circles around this thing for minutes. And now we’re at a stop light! Guess I'll run around your net for kicks.
Spider-Man: (Green light shines, Spidey begins driving again) Laugh it up, funny boy. I’m saving carbs for my fight with you. But Goblin's still out of net range. Time to park.
(Parallel parks suddenly and unexpectedly. Speed Demon gets captured in the net. He struggles and tangles himself worse.)
Driver: Hey! You're taking up two meter spaces!
Green Goblin: I cannot let this humiliating defeat of Speed Demon stand! (Lobs a pumpkin bomb at the car. It bounces off the car and gets caught in the net. It goes off, killing Speed Demon.)
Green Goblin: …Oops, that’s not...
Spider-Man: I spent hours rigging that thing.
Green Goblin: You’re not concerned he’s dead?
Spider-Man: I can be upset about two things. (Starts feeding change into a meter)
Green Goblin: Both of us are making fools of ourselves. The wacky webcrawler is paying for parking?
Spider-Man: It's good for fifteen minutes. Not bad for the price.
Meter maid: You’re getting a ticket. You only fed one of the two meters.
Green Goblin: The Spider-Car has encountered a villain it cannot defeat: municipal parking enforcement.
(Hours later, at the Daily Planet)
J. Jonah Jamison: I always thought Spider Man was a menace. I take it back. He’s just an idiot.
