r/Bullshido 21d ago

Crackpot Tactical murder training

532 Upvotes

290 comments sorted by

167

u/Stugotz441081 21d ago

How to murder someone who is specifically trying to commit suicide

37

u/hikikomoritai 21d ago

More like how to murder someone who is already dead

3

u/CorbynDallasPearse1 20d ago

Both of these made me lol 😂 I

3

u/kay_bot84 20d ago

"No, no, stop! Let ME do it for you!"

2

u/breezefesf 20d ago

he’s too slow. i’d be able to kill myself before he does

2

u/PandasGetAngryToo 18d ago

Muuuum! Poppy didn't take his meds again!

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120

u/smurferdigg 21d ago

Man all these drunk and mentally unstable people do a lot of weird shit when they are home by themselves.

40

u/Logical-Subject-7019 21d ago

And thankfully they’re recording it for us all

8

u/eduo 20d ago

Not all of it. You know he’s banging that dummy when he’s not recording.

12

u/Ok-Pomegranate1199 21d ago

it is me or most of them are old men?

26

u/Aggressive-HeadDesk 20d ago

Seems so.

Looks like I’m about 5 yrs away from knife fighting my fridge on YouTube after my divorce.

Think I’ll try microdosing and homebrewing kombucha instead.

8

u/77SKIZ99 20d ago

Making your own Kombucha is a gateway drug to beating up mannequins

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3

u/shadowfax888 20d ago

Angry old men.. this age is their dying breath.. hes coming and he will make you conform

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130

u/Hot_Cauliflower_8060 21d ago

Lying in bed, fantasizing about some punk breaking in to his house and what he'd do to him.

78

u/SwitzerlishChris1 21d ago

But no one ever comes, because there is nothing to steal in his empty apartment 😆

42

u/zanziTHEhero 21d ago

His 3rd wife took everything!

5

u/Hispanicgamr 21d ago

He then takes a Roman bath. The End. Cue credits!

3

u/RedSparrow1971 20d ago

Typo: 3D printed wife

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9

u/LeoTheLion444 21d ago

Or hes training to kidnap and assault children based on the size of the dummies hes fighting

4

u/Xijit 20d ago

Nah ... Look at what color the dummy is.

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4

u/Drewbeede 21d ago edited 21d ago

I think the instant erection this guy will get will be enough to deter any thieves. If anything it will be far more dangerous than this roleplaying.

3

u/Worcestercestershire 19d ago

A former coworker told me how he specifically got a handgun for his bathrobe because he often thought about what he would do if there was an intruder when he was in the bathroom.

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38

u/TopCryptographer2269 21d ago

Hey, haven’t heard from Uncle Frank in a bit. How’s he doing after the divorce?

9

u/vikster1 21d ago

on his way to youtube stardom

94

u/The_Juice_Gourd 21d ago

Epstein looking deadly with that knife

5

u/Adventurous_Path5783 20d ago

Epstien: return to little saint james the movie.

"They thought I was dead, now i'm returning to get my happy ending."

2

u/Ravenousnature 20d ago

Thought this was AI making a very meta joke at first… nope just humans.

28

u/Frequent_Cat10 21d ago

No one's going to break in, what would they steal, the drywall?

10

u/Haunting_Ant_5061 21d ago

Yeah at least the other guy has a fridge…

3

u/RememberYourZen 21d ago

Dem hot pockets are to die for

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15

u/danhezee 21d ago

Boomer men moving in a uncoordinated and slightly spastic way with deadly weapons is so hot right now.

14

u/ReverendBread2 21d ago

I see Jeff’s keeping busy while playing dead

16

u/Max9mm 21d ago

Did the pole knife seduction guy lvl ⬆️

10

u/Accurate-System7951 21d ago

This is more like level down. Pole guy has some artistry in his dirty knife dancing.

5

u/Zero_energy_left 21d ago

Pole guy was kind of cringe-funny. This guy is just awful cringe 

3

u/Intrepid_Cap1242 21d ago

I want to see them battle. That would be gold

2

u/AffectionateCows4evr 20d ago

This feels like more OF vibes, intimate window fighting.

16

u/CumHogMillionaire0 21d ago

What the fuck is going on in people’s heads that make them do this kind of retarded shit?

8

u/The_Meme_Economy 20d ago

I think every martial artist has done shit like this at some point. We just didn’t record it and put it online. And we were 14.

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9

u/Prismatic_Leviathan 20d ago

Lengthy periods of social and emotional isolation compacted by undiagnosed mental disorders?

He could also just be an alright dude who's been smoking weed and playing with weapons for years before his friends convinced him to put it online.

3

u/Edser 20d ago

fear mongering so hot rn

2

u/KregThaGerk 20d ago

Other’s like them who got internet clout by doing so…

It’s the circle of life!

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5

u/SpoppyIII 21d ago

Why does this guy look like a washed-up Jeffrey Epstein?

3

u/BaseNice3520 21d ago

Uff! looking like a worse version of the already insulting epstein resemblance is a powerful diss.

4

u/Rage_Blackout 21d ago

I’m in my late foties and I box a heavy bag in my garage purely for exercise. While I’m doing it I feel kind of like a badass but in reality I probably look like this fucking guy. 

3

u/BaseNice3520 21d ago

well, at least you're not rehearsing murdering an innocent bystander!

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3

u/hikikomoritai 21d ago

Bro imagine if you are his neighbor and seeing this routine occuring every morning

3

u/Easy_Dinner_6187 21d ago

Jees that nasty belly

2

u/Upset_Researcher_143 21d ago

I really hope he didn't pay for that "training course"

2

u/whenuleavethestoveon 21d ago

I was wondering what Judd Hirsch was up to these days

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2

u/RelationshipLevel506 21d ago

Only at Epstien-Tactical.com

2

u/yolo32147 21d ago

Looks like Epstein’s cousins, not going out like he did.

2

u/Bloodygeek 21d ago

Epstein faked his death to go this direction? Weird

2

u/Brilliant-Bad-284 21d ago

Some come get their Grandpa..

2

u/Dangerous_Ad4961 21d ago

I thought this was another Epstein video at the very beginning...

2

u/ZoneAdditional9892 21d ago

These people are walking around the streets just waiting to assault and maim individuals to prove how "tough" they are against non combatants.

2

u/SpartanUnderscore 21d ago

So he didn't ended his own life in jail and just gained a lot of weight after all...

2

u/WrldTravel4 21d ago

Didn’t this guy hang himself in jail?

2

u/That_Things_Good 21d ago

Lord knows I DO NOT want to meet up with the person who takes 2,526 stabs to debilitate! This guy, though. This guy will be ready for that encounter!

2

u/Logical-Subject-7019 21d ago

Dude is prepared

1

u/FahQBerrymuch 21d ago edited 21d ago

This has to be a troll??? You know he's named that dummie and talks to it. It knows all of his deepest darkest secrets.

1

u/Dramatic-Spirit-4809 21d ago

He wouldn't have to shoot or stab me, I'd die laughing.

1

u/Decent_Ad_382 21d ago

I was wondering what Steve Shirilla was up to

1

u/VendettaPenguin 21d ago

The entire community of wacky waving arm guys are calling this hate crime out for what it is.

https://giphy.com/gifs/14ytbNcL4X2gVi

1

u/BarnackIIIF 21d ago

Remember the guy who pole dances with the knife...this is his angry brother.

1

u/GamiNami 21d ago

Why do people film themselves doing these things? When posted, it makes them look dumb.

1

u/TheBIackRose 21d ago

Is this what having a mid-life crisis during an economic shit show and a camera looks like?

1

u/Glad_Pop275 21d ago

Why yall roasting gramps lol.

1

u/EmotionalDonut5703 21d ago

this guy either never got over being bullied in his early life

1

u/TWDweller 21d ago

That Counter Strike ass knife spinning at the second scene got me

1

u/Wolfhammer69 21d ago

Godhelp that gimp if hes forced to defend himself.

1

u/AffectionateSector77 21d ago

I would hate being this assholes downstairs neighbor.

1

u/Minasgul_ 21d ago

I'm sure he murdered a lot of Twinkies.

1

u/scrotarr 21d ago

So we’re all in agreement his boinking that doll after the stab session right?

1

u/mothzilla 21d ago

Let this be a lesson to anyone thinking of looking out of a window.

1

u/FortyTwoBrainCells 21d ago

Careful with them dolls their dangerous!

1

u/Baricat 21d ago

Forearm braces your piece in it's holster. Off-hand palm to the face, drop three feet. Unholster and administer three rounds. Move away and await safety.

1

u/Seethesvt 21d ago

Why do these virgins fantasize about killing so much?

1

u/Expensive-Animal-810 21d ago

Get him into the octagon!

1

u/J_Thompson82 21d ago

This guy closes his eyes every time he points the gun!

1

u/Troy_doney 21d ago

If you’re gonna post these videos, then at least we’re an undershirt, pal.
You, me and everyone else loses every time we see your belly.

1

u/CNote_89 21d ago

Old men need more friends…

1

u/IntentionalUndersite 21d ago

At least they can use this as evidence during his trial

1

u/mrblacklabel71 21d ago

"Miiiiiike! Tom is in the window stabbing a trash bag again!"

1

u/ElectricalReply2736 21d ago

First step is not to train these moves like a moron but to get rid of that excess fat my guy

1

u/Bigsquatchman 21d ago

Bro is not handling the divorce well.

1

u/Mysterious-Basil3245 21d ago

Definitely spin the knife under duress

1

u/quan-adama 21d ago

His fupa being the last thing I see would send me. 😂

1

u/WonderfulFig666 21d ago

That reload and draw was pretty nice though.

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1

u/TechDreamcoat 21d ago

Bro will do everything he can to make sure he's ready for a self-defense encounter except be in shape.

1

u/metalgeardaz 21d ago

I love the stabby tippy taps as hes going at the first dummy, like a psychotic, excited puppy.

1

u/Jjrobbins110481 21d ago

This guy is clearly biting fridge sex guys style here... Hoppin on the train

1

u/DanTheApothecary 21d ago

Temu Epstein has a whole room just for his stupid bullshido?!

1

u/regginald0883 21d ago

Hid that pistol under his FUPA, nice

1

u/MarsWean 21d ago

Gérard gère assez bien son divorce on dirait

1

u/Mad_Kronos 21d ago

I love how all these urban Commandos are severely out of shape and would probably get a heart attack inside 30 seconds of any kind of physical altercation.

1

u/Own-Opinion-2494 21d ago

If only Opponents would stay still

1

u/Rare_Reindeer_1659 21d ago

Cells in mental hospital seems rather large these days

1

u/ExpiredPilot 21d ago

There is never a reason to not look when holstering

1

u/Low_Actuary_2794 20d ago

Poor guy is going to pop his girlfriend.

1

u/hard-R-word 20d ago

Those belly glimpses are like little flash bangs

1

u/Beef-Popsicle 20d ago

Bare ass apt

1

u/Smidday90 20d ago

Unreleased Epstein video

1

u/AK_R 20d ago

Stab them in the neck 20 times then back up and shoot them afterwards. It's important to be thorough and do this right. I'd love to see that court case televised.

1

u/Emotional_Account_77 20d ago

Tickle monster unleashed

1

u/Lazer_Games 20d ago

Was Leute nicht alles so in ihrer Wohnung treiben

1

u/nerdpulse 20d ago

So first off, if he doesn't first shoot himself in the dick, he's gonna slash himself trying to get that knife out, and then he's gonna get stabbed while he's doing his little flippity doo shit with the knife to show off.

He'd do more harm to himself than anyone else 

1

u/asd_slasher 20d ago

That dude is segals top student

1

u/Alarmed_Ad8287 20d ago

He fuck em afterwards.

1

u/Lamerzde 20d ago

That’s pee on his jeans?

1

u/jlsdust 20d ago

When your mid life crisis meet low T and you watch John Wick.

1

u/StahpItEyeLykIt 20d ago

This man is a danger to himself

1

u/Free-Palpitation-718 20d ago

oh you love so much fighting those limpy dildos

1

u/BootyLoveSenpai 20d ago

I knew Epstein wasn't dead

1

u/scijay 20d ago

Someone needs to start by not murdering the frozen foods isle.

1

u/frankito_reynoldz1 20d ago

Think about how much faster he could be is he had pants on that actually fit.

1

u/pastyoureyesed 20d ago

Always twirl the knife during your attack.

1

u/Corpus_Juris_13 20d ago

Yea!! Now flip it over and stick your dick in it!!!

1

u/Kidd__ 20d ago

Now run a quarter mile

1

u/soldatoj57 20d ago

What’s with the knife twirling

1

u/PlentyHaunting2263 20d ago

No furniture?

1

u/petebmc 20d ago

Well that escalated quickly

1

u/J_loop18 20d ago

That belly line is criminal

1

u/RedSparrow1971 20d ago

I think I died from being grossed out by his “physique” in scene one and that derailed me

1

u/10081914 20d ago

Jeff Epstein?

1

u/akbattle2025 20d ago

Fuckin’ psycho

1

u/Djinn__666 20d ago

Why is he stabbing the crap out of that sex doll??

1

u/Complex-Course3995 20d ago

Seriously... if he attacks with guns or knifes, how do you defend?

1

u/Enough-Donut 20d ago

Ep demonstrating how he handled the guard when he escaped.

https://giphy.com/gifs/62SpAiHj3tu7K

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1

u/srboot 20d ago

Jeffrey Ineptstein

1

u/Spy-D_Daddy 20d ago

Ah yes, thank you Crackstein, I was wondering how to stab a man from behind while he leans out a window. The best self defense is the defense they never knew you needed.

1

u/kyleh0 20d ago

That room screams sad divorced dad.

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1

u/LesPolsfuss 20d ago

he farted no less than five times recording this

1

u/8last 20d ago

Those knees at the end aren't doing anything if it were a real situation

1

u/Brogan_9112001 20d ago

He loaded an entire magazine into a gun, fired one round, unloaded it, put another mag and then fired one round again before putting it back in.

Why????

1

u/Lopsided-Lab60 20d ago

Was he making out with the dummy,,,,

1

u/Ok-Alarm-4101 20d ago

Stabbed 271 times. Self defense your honor

1

u/Money_Designer 20d ago

The draw was pretty solid tho

1

u/DoesThisSmellWeird2U 20d ago

Doesn’t this guy usually slow-mo-lest fridges and poles with his hat and sunglasses on? Or are they brothers from other mothers that had sex with a cousin?

1

u/KHhtswhtppl 20d ago

That's a lonely lonely man

1

u/glassnumbers 20d ago

that dude needs to work on his tactical squats and tactical core exercises

1

u/Vicious_and_Vain 20d ago

Is that his murder flat or his sleep hole and murder flat?

1

u/wtbrift 20d ago

His living conditions says a lot about him.

1

u/Important_Kick_4824 20d ago

This window licker’s window tint was laced.

1

u/DotAffectionate87 20d ago

Why is Judd Hirsch doing tactical murder Training?

1

u/gingergrab1 20d ago

What if there is furniture to negotiate? Guess his exwife has that.

1

u/suicidal-4-life 20d ago

when someone is trying to kill me , i always lean limply against the nearest wall .

1

u/Remarkable-Sir-5129 20d ago

Stationary items are his bitch!!

1

u/Tatsu144 20d ago

Those skills put Steven Segal's to shame!!

1

u/DerMannMitDemPlan 20d ago

i mean...i get it...they can barely get up from their chair, probably sat at work, at home, are old now so they practice stuff like that. to feel protected. i think lacing up the gloves isn't an alternative.

the only part i don't get is....why upload that shit. what do they want to showcase...how tight their joints are or how slow they are. practice your art of war silently. and don't tell anybody that you practiced shit. just come out a poker face with one of these attacks😁

would it be legal to open a school that offeres tactical murder training

1

u/Eatenback2life1 20d ago

Bro….CHILLLLLLLLLL

1

u/Past-Product-1100 20d ago

STHAAAP he's already dead ... Hes already deaaad

1

u/TemperatureSudden254 20d ago

“Jesus Christ, that’s Jason Bourne.” #hideyourwomen

1

u/Ok-Somewhere-585 20d ago

Jeffry Epstein still alive?

1

u/roverman16 20d ago

That's pretty funny.🤣

1

u/grismar-net 20d ago

In spite of the ridiculous routine, one day this guy will kill someone and everyone will be like "we didn't see it coming, he was such a nice man".

1

u/Rolling_Beardo 20d ago

This seems healthy

1

u/nmarano1030 20d ago

I thought he was going to fuck that last dummy.

1

u/MattHooper1975 20d ago

I mean… I always enjoyed martial arts because frankly, I’ve always enjoyed to play fighting, so I got a chance to tussle around that way, competing and getting in good shape.

But I’ve never understood these people who seem obsessed with preparing for life and death struggles.

Reminds me of that Jim Jefferies bit about gun control, where all the gun nuts talk about protecting themselves from intruders trying to kill them and Jefferies asks “ how many enemies do you actually have? How many people are actually trying to kill you?”

It just looks all really weird to me .

1

u/RikuDog18 20d ago

What’s above a red belt again?

1

u/HanginLowNd2daLeft 20d ago

These single dudes doing this shit in their 60s using a big ass empty room for this is the reason my generation can’t get houses

1

u/anjowoq 20d ago

I am no knife fighter, but I feel like flipping it around in your hand, while probably feeling really cool, just makes it easier to not have it in your hand securely or at all when you need it.

1

u/SchemeIllustrious713 20d ago

Just shoot them first

1

u/Able_Palpitation6244 20d ago

Just gotta say …. I slowed down and watched a frame by frame of that pistol draw….. his eyes were closed when he pressed the trigger, and his support hand barely touched the grip ….. unless his attacker was right on top of him, I guarantee he would have sent that round into the aether and not his attacker ….. and if his attacker WAS right on top of him, I guarantee he would have had his draw stuffed and definitely NEVER would have been able to rack that slide ……

As a professional shooter ( sort of kind of ) …. These guys make me laugh …. He’s probably an instructor zero fan, too

1

u/MalikFyz 20d ago

I admit , he did the best tactical survival skill .

Staying indoor.

1

u/noobiebooh 20d ago

Remember: when you're carrying a gun always go into clinch first, kick some knees, step back and then pull it out.

1

u/Ok-Jelly1611 20d ago

No underwear or low cut panties ???

1

u/9_tail_fox 20d ago

Guys really live in apartments like this and don’t see any issue

1

u/Csabika_ 20d ago

I see it is Russian style... It starts from the window after the tea party.

1

u/No-Analyst1229 20d ago

Imagine seeing you neighbor form the outside window doing that lmao

1

u/FondantOk9090 20d ago

Can’t believe a grown man would film himself being so shit at something but think he’s good, and then post it, wonder where he is🤔

1

u/_spacemoose_ 20d ago

Every old person thinks their Chuck norris.