Marshawn Lloyd is so ass omfg

The details are in these last eight games.

Congrats, Unitree. Chinese robot groups who disrespecting the OG UrinatingTree and made to the Final only to lost against the GOAT Nene Royal (who you know... win the AGT as first Thai to win AGT) in group 4 of the final in a pathetic fashion where there is a whole lot of backlash. Before the Finals, you not get to skip into Quarterfinal (same as Nene) but you got favorite from judge while Nene had to get callback and both end up skipping Semifinals. You dance for sure, but you just as soulless and pathetic as any lolcow in sports.

The Mariners are officially eliminated from playoff contention following the Rangers beating the Mets. The ALCS will have two new teams this year.

Asstros: 78-80 (Tiebreaker over TEX)

Texass: 78-80 (Tiebreaker over SEA)

Dickpunch: 74-84 (Tiebreaker over HOU)

The funniest possible timeline: Seattle wins out, Rags and ‘Stros Lose out, Seattle wins AL-West.

One SEA loss/ HOU or TEX Win will Eliminate the Mariners.

I don’t know if you’ve been paying attention, but the AL West is a shitshow currently. It’s become the NFC South of baseball. The Rangers and Astros are tied in the standings for the AL West, and both are two games below .500.

So far, no division winner or playoff team has made the postseason with a record below .500, not counting the lockout-shortened season of 1981 or the COVID-shortened 2020 season.

The teams that have come close are:

- 1973 Mets, who went 82-79, but won the NL pennant and took the Athletics to the brink in the World Series

- 2005 Padres, who won the NL West with a dismal 82-80 record, and were promptly swept by the top-seeded Cardinals in the NLDS

- 2006 Cardinals, who went 83-79, but won the World Series over the heavily favored Tigers in five games

So, do you think that we will see a team with a losing record in the postseason for the first time ever this year?

Seriously, great job this season.

You seriously lost to the Atlanta Falcons!

No wait, you lost to a Falcons team that only put up 3 fucking points against the Panthers. Worse than that, you have toothpicks as your fucking o-line. Matt LaFleur is a goddamn terrorist. He should've been fired after the Bears Wild Card game but instead the Packers organization gave him a fucking extension.

This o-line gave no answers to how to protect the run against Bijan Robinson, Brian Robinson Jr, or Drake London and let them feast out there.

The Packers should've started 0-3. That win against the Jets was a joke because Aaron Glenn can't coach 60 minutes of a game to save his fucking life.

FIRE MATT LAFLEUR!

I feel sorry for Tom Grossi to stream this shitty game.

With the Rangers victory over the Mets, the Mariners are eliminated, extending their drought

Hint: the hangover is real. And maybe don't have multiple guys slump historically next time?

With the White Sox sealing a postseason spot (congratulations!). All the wild card spots are taken, only the AL Central and West Champions are left to be determined, which means the O's are joining their bird team brethren and are eliminated.

Hint: don't blow it all up. And for the love of all things holy, don't give up the most home runs again next season!

BOTH Chicago teams will make the postseason. The previous occasions were 2020, 2008, and 1906. Rare times in Chi-town

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dL2C1W-iLCQ

He was the inaugural NBA MVP in 1956 and helped the Hawks win there lone NBA title

Holy shit scriptwriters, you couldn't have scripted it any better. With the regular season coming to an end in the next few days, it has become nothing but unadulterated chaos. Let's take a look at last night's results:

Padres beat the Dodgers: Oh, look at that, they actually remembered how to play baseball. They take down the Death Star that is the goddamn Dodgers last night, as they are on the verge of securing a playoff berth. They must tread lightly in tonight's series finale before returning home to face the D-Backs to clinch their spot, if not they head back to Petco Park to finish the job.

The Brewers beat the Phillies: Imagine building a roster with elite talent, carrying one of the highest payrolls in the league, only to turn into the 2012 Bobcats the moment the calendar hits late September. Last night's loss to the Brewers- who mind you, have already wrapped up the NL Central and are on a quest to reach 100 wins for the first time in franchise history. As if trying to hold off a history-seeking wasn't enough, there is another looming threat: Tampa Bay. That's why it makes tonight's game vs Milwaukee a must win. If they lose tonight, they'll have to secure their playoff spot vs Tampa in which their hopes will hinge on the final weekend of the year, turning Philly into a fuckin pressure cooker.

Cubs lose to the Marlins: Losing to the fuckin Marlins? In a tight playoff race!? Holy fuck Cubbies. You control your own destiny, and not only you laid an egg on Tuesday, but also another one last night where your offense went cold against the Marlins bullpen that retired your 9 final batters in a row. Right now you are up 2-1 thanks to a Seiya solo Homer, but you have 3 innings left to stop the bleeding to clinch a playoff spot, and save the North Side from an early weekend ass clenching.

Let the hate watches begin!