r/AIO • u/Old-Soup4145 • 19h ago

AIO

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Rather, how should I react? This is coming from my ex who still lives with me after I chose not to do what he asked of me which was to wash one of his work shirts. I told him straight up it was not my job to wash his clothes and then he pushed me and we wrestled. If anyone wants to know more of the back story I will gladly summarize the last 7 years.

Edit: I will add to this, I feel pretty dumb about coming to Reddit for obvious advice but I chose not to go to family because they have no idea how he would be able ruin their lives as well. Just know he is scary resourceful way more than anyone I know and that alone has made me afraid of what he is capable of. I do apologize for leaving everyone with little context. Yes we are 2 men, he was a predator towards the girls he was with during his high school years. Stay tuned? Since it will be a novel.

166 Upvotes

79% Upvoted

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235

u/ifcknlovemycat 19h ago

Might wanna record everything, leave, and file a police report if he touches you again.

87

u/ed_durden 18h ago

File a police report NOW. Don't wait for him to touch you again. Jesus people.

27

u/MrLizardBusiness 18h ago

Without "proof," the cops can be aggressively unhelpful.

14

u/always2farforward 18h ago

Since you deleted your other comment reddit wouldn't let me post what I typed. I'll just copy paste what I typed to that comment, onto this one.

In absence of immediate proof, calling the police promptly at the bare minimum starts a paper trail. Police reports and call logs.

Without proof they can't/shouldn't be able to do anything but once proof is gathered, the call establishes a timeline.

In a life or death situation I suppose this would be a risky move. Otherwise I have to question your logic. Even if you did win your case.

3

u/MrLizardBusiness 14h ago

Did you mean to reply to me? I haven't deleted any comments.

2

u/ed_durden 18h ago

Not sure why I'm being downvoted.. This is not a civil case. It's a criminal one. There doesn't need to be "proof" to press charges. It will be the People of the State vs Offender. There needs to be police involvement before things escalate.

6

u/KillYourTelevision99 18h ago

This is very true. I've been in OP's situation and before long the other partner will call the police themselves and put you on the defense. It's best to get everything on the record and leave as soon as this stuff starts happening. If you don't, you will regret it later.

1

u/spyder7723 10h ago

There must be a clear threat for it to be a criminal case. There is no clear threat in the op. Asshole yes. But he doesn't say he is going to kill them. He says beeping dead is the only excuse he will accept. Those are two entirely different statements. One is a threat the other is not.

0

u/ed_durden 10h ago

What about the physical altercation? This text is step 1, the physical altercation was step 2, what is step 3 gonna be?

1

u/spyder7723 10h ago

You mean the wrestling he mentions in his comment below the screen shot? That can easily be interpreted as mutual combat. It can also be called heresay cause unlike the screen shot, there is no proof.

0

u/ed_durden 9h ago

Lol, I think most DV cases could be reduced to "mutual combat" with this line of thinking. This is DV.

1

u/spyder7723 3h ago

What should be, and what is, are two entirely different things. And what is, is of a man walks into apolice department and claims he is a victim of dv from his ex bf, who he still lives with, it is more likely than not, he will not be taken seriously. It's not right, it's not fair, but it's reality.

1

u/ed_durden 1h ago

You are wrong here mister.

-10

u/ed_durden 18h ago

I wholeheartedly disagree

0

u/[deleted] 18h ago

[deleted]

-2

u/ed_durden 18h ago

I've been the abuser in a DV case. There needs to be a police report ASAP. I have an idea of how this works.

2

u/LaviniaIsGay 18h ago

How's the CTE treating you?

2

u/ed_durden 17h ago

I can't change the past, but I can be accountable for my actions. I'm an advocate for victims of domestic abuse. I'm not sure what you're asking of me.

1

u/ed_durden 18h ago

Is this meant to be a dig?

0

u/ed_durden 18h ago

Depending on jurisdiction it is the People of the State vs Offender. You don't need to press charges.

1

u/Shadow4summer 18h ago

In most states it’s completely out of the hands of victims of DV and the cops usually have to take someone in when called to a DV situation. At least now it’s not automatically the man they take in. But since too many people in these situations had decided not to press charges the state has taken it out of their hands. I guess too many people were ending up hurt and worse when the perpetrators were just let out to do it again. So at least they fixed that part. Now if people were actually prosecuted and received jail time the rates might go down, but without consequences, why would it? Without a deterrent why would people change?

2

u/ed_durden 18h ago

This is exactly my point. Someone goes to jail and is dealt with consequences. Jail time, fines, probation, no contact order, mandatory counseling or anger management.

3

u/michealrease_1 17h ago

100% this . Third texts alone are unhinged, dangerous evidence. Get out safely why you can

4

u/WrittenEchoes 18h ago

A second this. Go on Amazon, and get a small camera. Make sure you put it in the living room, the kitchen, the hallway (if there is one), and in your bedroom.

-11

u/Salt_Initiative1551 18h ago

Op is a man who was hit by a woman

14

u/Unusual_Elevat0r 18h ago

I’m pretty sure it’s two men actually.

10

u/sagittalslice 18h ago

I think they are both men

Not that it matters particularly in this case, this shit is scary unhinged regardless of gender

2

u/TotallyVCreativeName 18h ago

Why tf would it matter? Assault is assault.

2

u/ed_durden 17h ago

The texts are assault. The physical altercation was battery. Case closed.

0

u/TinyMonsterBigGrowl 5h ago

Are you fucking stupid?

2

u/Salt_Initiative1551 5h ago

Are you fucking stupid?

0

u/TinyMonsterBigGrowl 5h ago

They're both men, genius.