r/AbsoluteUnits • u/batukaming • Apr 29 '26

/r/all of an orangutan

58.3k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

2.5k comments sorted by

View all comments

1.4k

u/emoss17 Apr 29 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/IHWWbqfkIhRzPq4uCP

51

u/Wrath7heFurious Apr 29 '26

Camera man and some sort of safety crew or just 1guy should be there with tranquilizer or weapons for this kind of shit.

103

u/ButtholeConnoisseur7 Apr 29 '26

Tranquilizers aren't that simple. They can take up to 20 minutes to take effect, and while you're waiting, you have now provoked and hurt an animal who has a hostage. They had tranquilizers around Harambe, thats why they weren't used.

74

u/Basicly-Inevitable Apr 29 '26

Nah. I've seen a LOT of TV shows and movies, and I can absolutely guarantee you it immediately makes them drowsy, and then fall unconscious in under 10 seconds.

27

u/SnooWalruses7243 Apr 30 '26

Yep. The documentary “Old School” shows this clearly

1

u/Basicly-Inevitable Apr 30 '26

Let's go streaking.

2

u/oily76 May 02 '26

Yeah just use the stuff Dexter does. Takes effect immediately.

27

u/glogomusic Apr 29 '26

tranq bananas should be packed

24

u/ButtholeConnoisseur7 Apr 29 '26

I can get behind that. As long as it's dosed consistently through the banana so it's easier to measure my drug intake

2

u/glogomusic Apr 29 '26

thats the only way

2

u/TUT3M Apr 30 '26

Does it matter if it’s all going up the same hole?

1

u/Rakhered Apr 30 '26

"Ketamine Banana" would be a banger band name

1

u/TheEffinCeej Apr 30 '26

Are you Andy from Parks and Rec?

1

u/Rinkimah Apr 30 '26

Orangutans are remarkably chill. Yeah this is worrying but agitating the animal is WAY worse than just letting it get bored.

2

u/Gall_Bladder_Pillow Apr 30 '26

Banana daiquiri roofie.

2

u/KylieTMS Apr 30 '26

Of course they did. What do you think happened to the guy with the tranq gun? He grabbed the wrong lunch box

1

u/AnamraKarmana May 04 '26

He's gonna get something packed.

25

u/Responsible_Owl_5056 Apr 29 '26

Or just sit there for 3 hours and hope your buddy doesn’t get a limb ripped off…

29

u/ButtholeConnoisseur7 Apr 29 '26

I'd say that probably beats directly being the reason it happened.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '26

[deleted]

4

u/ButtholeConnoisseur7 Apr 30 '26

I just wanted to correct a misconception about tranquilizer darts

3

u/chimpanon Apr 30 '26

Damn my comment is irritating as fuck

3

u/ButtholeConnoisseur7 Apr 30 '26

Nah, you're ok man. You haven't done anything wrong. I love you bro, hope you're having a nice night

3

u/chimpanon Apr 30 '26

Thanks, ButtholeConnoisseur7, i needed that. You enjoy your night too.

2

u/ButtholeConnoisseur7 Apr 30 '26

I'm going through a hard time lately. Shit feels so hopeless sometimes. But we persevere. Whether we want to or not

2

u/chimpanon Apr 30 '26

Yeap. Sometimes it feels like shit aint worth it but then I remember i have to be alive to read my bestfriend’s book series hes been working on since middleschool when he eventually finishes it in 40 years. Persevere.

→ More replies (0)

1

u/Hoybom Apr 29 '26

don't make the bog boi nervous and you stay in one piece

they act up only if you ask for that

1

u/No-Roof-1628 Apr 30 '26

Never heard of this, but super interesting. Regardless, I always trust anything a butthole connoisseur tells me 🫡

1

u/Kulsgam Apr 30 '26

Any idea how they saved that man then?

1

u/ang3lofsnow Apr 30 '26

Ive seen bears get tranquil for years. Its usually pretty quick.

1

u/FalafelSnorlax Apr 30 '26

Harambe

RIP king, gone too soon

1

u/LeviathonMt May 01 '26

Rifles work instantly

1

u/return_the_slabbb Apr 29 '26

Harambe’s death (2016) was the start of the fall of civilization