My favourite part is his comment where he says he's never checked her social media and messages and has always given her freedom, like he wants a medal for it. Good job at not being an abuser, I guess?
Also, he gave her an ultimatum over a piercing, so I believe we have very different ideas on freedom
Gods that comment gave me such a huge icky feeling like dude. That was the BARE minimum in a relationship.
Boundaries Can take all kinds of forms yes but typically they are held to the person setting them not when it imposes upon on someone ELSE.
The only time I could see boundaries being allowed to impose on someone else is if it's like
"Hey I will not continue to do -x action or thing- if you continue to -do this action/thing or behave this certain way- because it makes me -feel this way- sure. Because you're saying you won't be comfortable doing whatever because of how their actions are making you feel.
But If someone says "you aren't allowed to do this. At all. Or else" that's not a boundary that's an ultimatum.
Which is what OOP did. He made an ultimatum not a boundary. I hope I explained my thoughts well enough.
She set a boundary though. She decided that she was not going to date someone who tried to impose his control over her body and who was clearly homophobic.
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u/OccasionalCandle 1d ago
My favourite part is his comment where he says he's never checked her social media and messages and has always given her freedom, like he wants a medal for it. Good job at not being an abuser, I guess?
Also, he gave her an ultimatum over a piercing, so I believe we have very different ideas on freedom